Do you love your in-law family? (Vent...might be long)

Marielle0430

I do...but I have a confession (and I can't post this on my blog so I need to vent here). 

Background: I grew up with only my mom and my older brother and the rest of my family was sort of not really involved with us.  We saw my aunts and granmother from time to time but not much (I call my grandmother by her first name because of this).

DH, on the other hand, comes from a huge family and they are very tight...they all know eachothers business.  Put it this way, we can't have a small gathering consisting of just his parents and 2 sisters because the rest of his family magically appears.Don't get me wrong, I care about them and love most of them. 

Here's my issue:  it seems like every weekend there is a party, BBQ or some sort of get-together for someone's birthday, anniversary, baby/bridal shower, or some other occasion...and DH and I just HAVE to attend every single thing and be the first to arrive and last to leave.  When it comes to my family or friends asking to spend time with us, it's like a freaking mental challenge to figure out if we can squeeze them in.  We've talked this through and DH has been understanding but it still IRKS the hell out of me!

Kie310

I do love my in laws. MIL/FIL & the extendeds. The "rules" are simple for us. We each have to go to 1 family event a month for each others families. (this can be as small as dinner at the ILs house, or as big as a BIG family get together for a party)

Anything beyond that is optional. I'm hanging with my family all the time w/out DH - no need for him to be there for everything. On the same token, I don't need to see his mother on a weekly or bi-weekly time table.

bonnin507

I love my in-law family! well all except crazy MIL.  And I know how you feel about spending lots of time w/ DH's family & not much w/ your own.  I am pretty close w/ at least my immediate family & see them at least once a week, but DH often skips coming because he has "more important" things to do.  I, however, always go w/ him to his family's everything, even if it's just running over to his dad's to return an item.  I think that's part of the woman's curse; we always do for others. 

sazzette

I only know my MIL and BIL because most of his family lives far. That being said if they were here I probably would not go to everything unless I wanted to. They are a big family too. My family and friends are very important to me so I make time for everyone but if I don't feel like going or I want to only stay for a few hours then that's what I'll do. My IL's don't have any say in what I do, 

k-mart

I come from a family more like your husbands. It's hard because that is what you are used to. You just have to both sit down and talk it through. We've learned to say no to some events, and maybe you can just got for half the time - like make it for the birthday cake with his family and go to dinner with your friends. It takes some getting used to. I still feel like I miss out on alot with my family but I also have to respect my husband's side.

Mrs.M317

We might be related because my IL's are the same way!!!  They have cake and ice cream for every birthday, get togethers for any reason and we see his family and extended family every week or every other week.

I also get frustrated because my DH seems to make time for his family but something always gets in the way when my family is involved.  It is very frustrating...

I feel your pain! 

sazzette

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Marielle0430

Thanks ladies...

K-Mart, you must know how my DH feels.  I'm so not used to it and for him, it's all he knows.  I'm a home-body and more of a solitary person.  It doesn't mean I always want to be home alone but it's just a huge shock to have it be the opposite.  Where I feel like I can rarely just be with DH for a whole weekend alone.  Anyway, thank God Dh is very understanding and willing to compromise at least a little.

Marielle0430

Mrs.M317:

We might be related because my IL's are the same way!!!  They have cake and ice cream for every birthday, get togethers for any reason and we see his family and extended family every week or every other week.

I also get frustrated because my DH seems to make time for his family but something always gets in the way when my family is involved.  It is very frustrating...

I feel your pain! 

OMG...this exactly! Once, my MIL (who I love to death) tried to complain because she said she hadn't seen her son in over a month.  I was shocked because we had just been over their house like 2 weeks before!  To them, going 2 weeks without seeing DH feels like over a month!  Grrr...

wranglercowgrl87

I understand! My family all lives in Ga and his lives here in the town we live in.

I love my Mil, she is so sweet, but she smokes like a flippin' freight train. I think the cigarettes she buys are made from the stuff that they sweep up off the floor of the tobacco sale.....they smell gross & I can't walk in her house without getting an awful headache. She got in my car the other day & I was about to choke. It's sad because it makes me not want to go there, because it clings to me & I don't want to smell like that or have the headache that comes with it. FIL is usually an antisocial jerk so....the rest of the family is pretty nice most of the time, but I still really miss my own.

hgriffith

I get along great with my In laws, of course I live 2 hours away from them, that probably helps.  But really I talk to my mother in law more than DH does.  They are actually coming up this weekend.  DH and his dad are going to put up a fence in the backyard.

marzinelli17

i love mostly everyone, however, some got on my nerves sometimes.

Krista123105

Marielle0430:

I do...but I have a confession (and I can't post this on my blog so I need to vent here). 

Background: I grew up with only my mom and my older brother and the rest of my family was sort of not really involved with us.  We saw my aunts and granmother from time to time but not much (I call my grandmother by her first name because of this).

DH, on the other hand, comes from a huge family and they are very tight...they all know eachothers business.  Put it this way, we can't have a small gathering consisting of just his parents and 2 sisters because the rest of his family magically appears.Don't get me wrong, I care about them and love most of them. 

Here's my issue:  it seems like every weekend there is a party, BBQ or some sort of get-together for someone's birthday, anniversary, baby/bridal shower, or some other occasion...and DH and I just HAVE to attend every single thing and be the first to arrive and last to leave.  When it comes to my family or friends asking to spend time with us, it's like a freaking mental challenge to figure out if we can squeeze them in.  We've talked this through and DH has been understanding but it still IRKS the hell out of me!

My family actually sounds like your in-laws.  We're super close and see each other every weekend.  Our relationship with my in-laws is very different.  We only see them for special occasions, which is just how I like it!  (We don't exactly get along.)