So I just realized...

jen-dale

After all the thought processes that have been floating in my head, I don't know if I can/will TTC this month.

I got my dates all out of whack skipping last month while I waited for AF. Today I realized If we TTC and get Pg this cycle, the EDD is DH and my wedding anniversary. Cool right? Except I am terrified that it will be another loss. And then our anniversary date will be tarnished just like the other 2 EDDs I already have. Ugh. Why can't I just not think about it?

So I am torn. I don't have my b/w back yet so it might not even matter.

WWYD?

scooter999

my 1st due date was exactly on my anniversary....but I don't think about it too much that I think it will tarnish it. Although I am hoping to be pg again before October even gets here, that would probably make it easier!

I guess in my opinion i probably wouldn't play the what if game....

carasizemore

Hmm....are you calculating that for if you got pg the exact day that you expect to O this month?  What did the dr. say to do this cycle?  I know that you are scared to have that end up being a bad day if it were to happen. I can understand that, but do you think that you'll regret not having tried this month?

MrsGhappilyeverafter

Oh Jen, I know it sucks to think like that.  I'm so sorry sweetie .  But I am confident your doctor will find an answer for you so the next time you get pg, it will be your sticky baby.  It could very well be just a progesterone issue which they will be able to fix earlier next time to help your baby stick.  But, you have to make the decision that is the most comfortable for you and YH.  ((HUGS))

knelli

Oh Jen I dont think anything will actually tarnish your wedding anniv.

Just remember the mantras....My desire for a baby is greater than my fear of another loss.  You can do it Jen

JenyM

edd usually changes after the first ultrasounds anyways. so, i wouldn't play the what if game either.

back away from the calendar.

KelinandKevin

carasizemore:

Hmm....are you calculating that for if you got pg the exact day that you expect to O this month?? What did the dr. say to do this cycle?? I know that you are scared to have that end up being a bad day if it were to happen. I can understand that, but do you think that you'll regret not having tried this month?

This!?

carasizemore

knelli:

Just remember the mantras....My desire for a baby is greater than my fear of another loss.  You can do it Jen

This too!

hopingwaiting

The new me (or at least the me I would like to be) would TTC anyway and not worry about the potential dates.  I read somewhere recently that a great way to reduce stress is to accept the things that are not under our control.  Since unfortunately we can't control which cycle is successful, what the exact EDD will be, and whether we will have another loss, this philosophy of stress relief suggests that we should try not to get too hung up on timing.  That being said, I am a total control freak so I tend to calculate ahead and try to get things to happen exactly like I want them to be.  But, since clearly the TTC journey is already not going like I would have wanted, I am trying to embrace the fact that eventually my baby will arrive, and that while I don't know right now when that will be, when it happens it will be the perfect time.  GL!

L2theC42

knelli:

Oh Jen I dont think anything will actually tarnish your wedding anniv.

Just remember the mantras....My desire for a baby is greater than my fear of another loss.  You can do it Jen

well said!

jshay778

Im sorry ((hugs)) If we were to get pregnant this cycle our BFP would be right around our anniversary.

4thofJulyWedding

carasizemore:

Hmm....are you calculating that for if you got pg the exact day that you expect to O this month?  What did the dr. say to do this cycle?  I know that you are scared to have that end up being a bad day if it were to happen. I can understand that, but do you think that you'll regret not having tried this month?

THIS

I'm sorry you're going through this

PeetiePie

My opinion is to keep your eye on the prize Jen.  Go for it this month!

Jacquiemark

There is some great advice here from the ladies. EDD change and it might not end up on your Anniversary. We are all scared about another loss but do not let that get in your way. IMO, I would not put off TTC this month, nothing is certain.

jen-dale

You ladies rock! the only other thing I will say is that although I know EDDs are only estimates and change after u/s quite often, DH and I have never made it to an u/s so that date would be stuck in my head.

I think all of this will just depend on the blood work that comes back and my ballz at the time of O. I know I need to keep my eye on the prize and my desire for a baby is WAY greater than my fears at this point. I just wish that it didn't have to be so friggin complicated.

There are a lot of things that need to align for all of these issues, and for a BFP, so I guess I will just have to take it as it comes.

Thanks for being here to listen to me ramble. I don't know what I would do without you all!