help with gift/payment

babyaustin725

I have a girlfriend who is another mom from Tillman's preschool.  Her son is Tillman's age (obviously since they are in preschool together).  She has watched Tillman for me occasionally when I go to work.  I usually pay her around $50/day.  This was while James was still working, of course.  Well, yesterday, James went to my Dad's house to do some work around the yard (my Dad needs surgery on his arm, so he's limited).  My friend watched Tillman all day, 6:15am-2:30pm.  She said it was nothing, that her son loved to play with Tillman and that he's alwyas good an no trouble. She would not accept any $.  I am sure it's because she knows that James isn't working, and that's really sweet of her.  Anyway, I'd really like to get her SOMETHING to show my appreciation.  It was a whole day!  I was thinking of getting her a giftcard for something, but I don't know what.  It has to be a place that only she could get something or else I know she will spend it on her family.  Or maybe that's okay?  Maybe they would do better with a little extra to spend at Target or something on necessities?  I know they aren't in the best situation financially either. 

So, something just for her (and if so, what)?  or Something like Target that she could use for food, diapers for the baby, paper towels, etc.?  or should I just let it go and respect her wishes to not be compensated?

LuvBug12683

I would never turn down a Target giftcard
that would be a great place to give it from!

CinemaGoddess

If you wanted to do something for just her, how about a GC to a local nail place for a mani/pedi or someplace like that?

Of if you wanted to go the non-monetary route, and if you have the time, maybe take her son for a while so she could have some me-time or me-and-daddy-time?

cwhip77

Yeah, my suggestion was going to be setting up a day/afternoon to take her child and let her have some time to herself to go shopping or whatever, I would LOVE that, as much as I love my baby it does make simple things like shopping and such more difficult.  And if you wanted to go the extra mile, set up a pedicure for her.  It doesn't have to be anywhere fancy, just one of those local nailshops where it's $20 or so (I prefer those places over an overpriced spa anyways!).  Or take the kiddo for an evening and let her have a date night, maybe do a movie gift card if you wanted to do extra.  But I think just watching her kiddo would be enough.

Seattle_JiLLn

I was going to suggest taking her child sometime too... even for an evening so they can go out to dinner.  I'd love that more than a Target card.   And she said she didn't want to be paid, so giving a gift card seems like you're just paying her.   I'd either do a gift - even something like flowers - or do something nice for her like take the kid. 

and I will say - and you probably know this - at this age (and I know yours are a little older) it really *is* almost easier having two of them.  They play and keep each other busy.   So it really was probably not much work for her in some ways.

babyaustin725

I do take her son occasionally for a couple hours and have even watched him and their almost 1 year old once.  I am open to that, just not available much.  I often extend the offer.  I really felt like her having him the whole day, though, warrants more than me just offerring her a night out.  Maybe a gift? 

Seattle_JiLLn

Well, if you guys are friends and you do things for each toher now and then, I don't really feel like you need to give her a gift other than maybe a thank you and some cookies or something.   With friends, I just don't think you need to be that formal about it - you help each other out.  that's what friends do.  When she was doing it a lot for you as a scheduled thing, clearly that made sense to pay her, but if she was just doing you a favor, now you can do her one too... it sounds like you guys do that already?

So yeah, I'd do cookies and maybe a little flowering plant or something and call it good.  And a 'gift certificate" for a night out's babysitting.