Our one year waiting period is almost over, am I ready to do this again?

H definitely wants more kids....but the whole process is so anxious and well, depressing for me that I don't know if I want to do it again. 

I was super anxious about being judged and compared to other potential Adoptive parents, getting the profile perfect, finding the right situation, etc.

Do I want to go thru that stress again this time with a toddler to chase around?  Plus the money aspect is important too.  There must be a less expensive way to do this, right?  jeesh  All of the agencies I have seen lately (our last agency closed) have fees in the $40,000 range.  yikes.

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Re: Our one year waiting period is almost over, am I ready to do this again?

  • Are you feeling any less anxious because you've been through it before?

    Have you talked to any agencies that seem to be more gentle (for lack of a better word)? Any that have lower fees (maybe some that are religious based or have a sliding fee scale)? Have you talked to your DH about your fears?

    Just some things to think about. Good luck in making your decision.

  • My DH and I mention this frequently, our DD is only 6 months but we have decided to just enjoy our time w/ her and not to really make a decision about #2 until after she is a year old.

    The $ aspect is at the forefront for us as well, it's def going to be more tricky the first time around.  Plus, the cost of two little ones in daycare is outrageous so maybe it would be time to consider SAH options which is a whole other issue. 

    I'm also afraid that BM are more eager to place a families "first child" the wait time could be greatly increased the second time around. 

    There is just a lot to consider all over again, but at least you have some experience under your belt if you go ahead again!

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  • I hope that you can find a way to see your adoption journey as not anxiety filled, depressing and stressful. I hate to sound all "puppy dogs and rainbows" but I think the journey is what you make it.

    Try going into it being positive and making it a joyful process. You know now after your first child that when it is right, it will happen. No reason to stress over something that you can't control - just enjoy the ride.

    I also believe we choose our journey and it can be as stressful, difficult, long and expensive as we make it. There are plenty of agencies that take the stress out of adoption by providing inclusive services - all you have to do is fill out the forms (oh and write the checks lol). I loved our agency - they did everything for us from home study, to background searches, to providing legal services, now post placement services, and so forth. They also made us parents in five months of application submission. Fees ranging from 15k up to 50k depending on what you choose,

    I know this may not have sounded like a very helpful post but I do sympathize and wish you lots of luck. We are only 5 weeks into being parents and are saying: let's go again! lol Maybe next summer we will start again.

  • Thanks ladies.  I know that it is harder to find a BM for a second child...but we are going to give it a shot.  We actually placed really quickly, but it was a pricey adoption, no doubt. 

    I think we will be more realxed this time simply because we do have a child and NOT having one at all just made it so much harder. 


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