Moms: Aside from sex

MissBlush

How often does DH devote 30 minutes of undivided attention to you?

It's rare in my house, but I'm trying to change that.

blueLu25

hmm, not much. I think the only time we are doing something for 30 mins together is something that has to do with Ollie, or some kind of outing. But thats not really undivided then. I guess not often at all. I do feel like we spend a pretty good amount of time together tho, but its always as parents, hardly ever as a married couple.

pinktulips

Hahahahahaha!

Seriously, right now I just want 30 minutes to myself.

 I wish you luck, and the fact that you are taking the initiative is going to help a lot.

cwhip77

Hmm, what does "attention" entail exactly?  Just spending time with me?  A lot, usually every day after Mikayla is in bed.  But we're generally doing something - usually watching a movie or TV and cuddling on the couch.  If attention means just sitting there looking at me with nothing else going on, then never.  But I'd probably be weirded out by that.  ~

Do you guys need a date night?  That always helps us when one of us is feeling a little neglected.  We ask MIL to watch the baby and just have a night to ourselves to go out, it feels like before we had a kid, although we always end up whispering, "I miss the baby" to each other at some point. 

tfarabians

30 minutes...I'm lucky if he listens to the whole sentence that I'm saying!  Seriously I have totally caught him lately where I will say something like "Can you put the laundry in the dryer and fold the towels in the dryer?  and he will throw the towels on top of the dryer and walk out and wonder why I'm ticked! 

Of course if there is sex involved I would get hours lol!

jen_and_tom

cwhip77:

Hmm, what does "attention" entail exactly?  Just spending time with me?  A lot, usually every day after Mikayla is in bed.  But we're generally doing something - usually watching a movie or TV and cuddling on the couch.  If attention means just sitting there looking at me with nothing else going on, then never.  But I'd probably be weirded out by that.  ~

 This is pretty much where we are as well.  We also catch up on our days while making dinner, talk in bed and devote several hours on the weekends to get out and do something as a family.  We're not very good at explicit date nights.  Usually when we get a babysitter, it's to go out with other people.  I feel like the balance works pretty well for our relationship.  I actually feel like the bigger challenge for us is family time and also individual time with both of us working 8-5 every day. 

pixelvixen

I usually get about 10-15 minutes of undivided attention a few minutes after I get home. I say hi to the kids, change clothes then hang out while P plays or watches Mickey Mouse while we catch up on the day. I can also get another 10-15 minutes right after the kids go to bed, before DH takes a shower and I clean up the house and get ready for the next day. Sometimes its a lot less undivided attention but I pretty much demand it.

chibipoe

cwhip77:

Hmm, what does "attention" entail exactly?  Just spending time with me?  A lot, usually every day after Mikayla is in bed.  But we're generally doing something - usually watching a movie or TV and cuddling on the couch.  If attention means just sitting there looking at me with nothing else going on, then never.  But I'd probably be weirded out by that.  ~

That's us too. We also have time on the bus together which is kind of our catch up time.

JRS72206

I feel like its extra hard with how much DH travels. Next week he will be in Alaska from Sun-Fri. We will talk on the phone every night, but that's it. I guess that could be considered undivided attention?

When he's home we will usually catch up on our shows after DD is in bed...etc. DH misses a lot of time with DD so we don't do a lot of date nights. I don't really miss it...yet. 

IdahoGirl

Now that I'm back to work and with DH's work schedule, we don't get a lot of time together during the week.  We only have maybe half an hour from the time I get home to when he leaves and that time is spent with him playing with Maddy while I change my clothes, make some bottles for the evening, and if we're lucky, eat a little something together.

We do talk on the phone each night after he leaves, but it depends on whether he's able to talk much or whether he's driving when I call.