is hate too strong of a word to describe feelings for DH?

texas77

right now DH stands for diick head.  ugggh, he is pissing me off really bad. 

background:  he is retiring from the army in about 2 mths.  he went in at 18 and is 41 now.  so it's all he knows.  he is nervous about getting a job in the real world and will probably continue to work with the army as a civilian.  my mom lives in OK and i would love to be closer to her.  he has been looking for jobs at ft.sill (OK). 

we live in military housing and have to be out sometime next month.  he hasn't interviewed anywhere yet and we don't know where we will be going.  he is crabby and nervous as am i. 

so i was trying to talk to him about our plans because i am a planner and he's got this macho attitude.  he makes all of the decisions and then tells me the plan.  for small shiit that is ok with me, and he actually makes really really good decisions so it has not been a problem.  i think it is coming from fear on his part.  he is scared that he wont get a good job and we will have a bad life.  i am not concerned at all. 

i'm sure i'm not even making sense right now, but i'm mad and my brain is going faster than my fingers at this point.  the real reason i'm pissed is tht sometimes he talks to me in a disrespectful way and that really gets me going.  oh and he's leaving to go oot for the next 10 days and i hate for him to leave with us beefing.  sigh.

thanks for reading all of my jibberish.    if you hear about a murder in hell paso, tx tonite...

KelinandKevin

My ex-husband pulled that sh!t on me.  We were both in the Navy.  I got out and got a really good job.  2 months later he comes home one day and says, "pack your bags, I just took a billet in Denver. You have 2 days to find us a place to live and schedule our move".  I was like... "FU very much!". 

Hopefully something will light a fire under your DH's a$$ and he will start getting things figured out.  Maybe you can offer to do something like find the place to live while he looks for a job...etc.?  Make it seem like your lightening his load.  That sucks that he is being disrespectful though.. I wouldn't go for that!

jshay778

I hope you guys can figure it out!! Its gotta be hard for him because he was there for so long but I think he should also consider you feelings and ideas!!!

Mrs.EmmaLouise

Hate is probably too strong a word.  I can understand how that situation could be very stressful for you.  I agree with pp.  Why dont you tell him you'll focus on finding ahome, and he focus' on a job.  It can be stressfull, but Im sure with the expereince he's earned with 20+ years in the army he wont have too much trouble.  GL! 

And if tha tdont work- wet willy him

sweetsarahsmiley

(((HUGS & offers to smack YH for you)))

Blessed1010

I'm not excusing his behavior, but it's obvious that he is stressed.  He's the man, and as the man he wants to know that he can provide for his family.  You stated that he usually makes good decisions, trust that he will continue to make wise decisions.  Remain patient and undestanding, finances and not knowing what tomorrow will bring can drive anyone crazy. 

JenyM

Eeeeks, I don't know what to say. But, I hope it all works out for you guys. Just give him some time. He's probably stressed. In the meantime, look for places to live and have a narrowed down list. So, when he comes around and asks for your help, you'll be one step ahead. That may also help ease your anxiety about not having somewhere to go.

jen-dale

my DH gets that macho bs attitude sometimes. I punch him. Just a play like one. but then I call him an a**hole and he gets the silent treatment. I know it isn't constructive. but it is pretty effective. I hope you and DH can figure out a plan. Maybe you can figure out the arrangements, and someone twist it around so it looks like he worked it all out - so you don't hurt his ego.

teppy2008

I didn't hear about any murders at Fort Hood, so I am assuming you kept your knives locked up last night.  I will pray that God gives you and DH clear guidance on where the next step is.  Good luck Texas.