Terrible 2's? — The Bump
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Terrible 2's?

Cruz breaks into full on hysterics the second he doesn't get his way which seems to be every 5 minutes.   I feel like I'm holding him more now than when he was an infant!  He points and drags me around the house for what...I'm not sure he even knows.  And he will walk around just fussing and whining.  Is this the 2's or is my child just a nightmare?  I'm totally frazzeled, and have to keep reminding myself he is still like a walking talking baby except he is lacking on the talking part which means both of us are that much more frusterated!  I really have to catch myself from yelling at him and I must admit I have slipped and feel horrible about it.  Please anyone ....suggestions? advise?
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Re: Terrible 2's?

  • Out of curiosity, how is he sleeping?
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  • he sleeps great from 9-7 and naps from 12-2:30
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  • There definitely is a stage where their wants outpace their ability to express them. And that usually happens between the ages of 2 and 4. It is frustrating for both of you, and I am sending lots of hugs your way!

    Things that might help (just throwing stuff out there)...

    - Some quiet music and a baby massage at a certain time every day.

    - Verbalizing everything you do together, step by step.

    - Encourage normal talking voices. "I don't hear you when you are whining, if you would like to talk to me in a big boy voice, I would love to listen."

    - Remember this is just a stage and there is always a new one around the corner. :)

     

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  • oh - and other thoughts... How is he pooping? Sometimes being backed up can make you cranky. And there are 2 year old molars that could be giving him some grief as well.
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  • Yeah, if he's not talking much, that's got to be frustrating.  ALl you can really do is tell him you understand he's frustrated and try to help him communicate with you.

    With Ben, I've found that he can calm down if he takes a deep breath.  So we worked on that.  I've even seen him do it himself when he's getting upset with a fight over a toy or something.  So I think it's good that he's starting to get a coping strategy that he is in control of, rather than needing me to hold him to calm him down.  Often I will sort of hold him and say "ok let's take a breath" and we both take a breath.  Then I ask him to tell me what the problem is, or what he needs.  Or if I knwo what it is, I tell him that i can't understand when he's whining or crying, and we practice saying what he wants in a calm, polite way.   "more water mommy please" or something.   But Ben talks a lot now, so that's different.

    That's about all I can do now.  It's driving me BANANAS to have him freak out/cry about things like me handing him a glass of water instead of him taking it off the table himself.  Or me getting him the wrong yogurt, or helping him with something he wanted to do himself.  Or, frankly, anything.  Luckily, the crying/fit usually lasts about 2 minutes max.  So it (so far) doesnt' turn into a terrible tantrum. 

    It's weird b/c I'm not sure this was happening when he wasnt' talking.  It seems to be happening more lately, and he actually can talk really well now, so it sort of makes no sense.  I think it's just a need for independence and not knowing how to get it.

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  • I hear ya!  Temper, temper, temper!  That's what we have.  Espeically if it's close to nap time!

    flailing about on the floor when she doesn't want to do something, trying to hit and bite me tonight even!  ughhh.

    I usually just try to distract her and that works.  I'll say, "can you count to 10?"  and she starts counting, or I'll ask her to sing the ABC's and start it off.  (she knows sertain letters and hums the tune the rest of the way with made up letters)   Something that I know she likes to do will usually redirect the temper tanturn and my thinking is that when we're done, she's forgotten about what it is that she wanted.    Is there something that gets Cruz's attention EVERY time?  Some key word or phrase? 

    I admit I do alot of yelling too.  I don't like it, but I get so fustrated.  Mis A is VERY willful and absoutely fearless.  It's usually out of her safety that I think she should not be doing something.  BUT, she does anyways.  sigh.....

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  • oh, BTW... last night at Grandma's house..... she slept ALL NIGHT in her pack N play.  Until 7:30 this morning! 

    My Mom said she wimpered/cried out a few times in her sleep, but my Mom would just shush her and said "grandma's here" and she'd go right back to sleep. 

    Friday night we were so tired that when she woke at 4am and got out of the crib and knocking on her door to get out, we just let her come to bed with us.  She feel asleep right away and we ALL slept until 8:45! 

    What can I say.... we're suckers, but we all got to sleep in that morning!  ;)

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  • Jill~  I understand competely on the independance thing.  Audrey  has a cow when she wants to do something HERSELF.  God forbid I try to help her, it turns into a tantrum.  Today for example, her shoe came off so I said I'd put it back on.  She freaked out, yelling "No, Audrey do it"  Fine.  But she wouldn't sit anywhere near me to do it herself.  Whenever I came closer, she'd get up and move, yelling she wanted to do it.  OK, fine, you do it, I can sit by you, but No, she wanted to do it away from me. 

    These types of things are happening daily now that her speech is getting better.  I agree it brings on a whole new sense of independance that is temper tantrum provoking!

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  • Luckily somehow we've made it this long and that "do it myself" stuff is just starting... and since he's 2 1/2, a lot of it he actually *can* do, or he can let me talk him through it.  

    What's really aggravating is when he wants to do it himself.  Starts trying.  Fails.  Freaks out more.  Wants me to help, but won't ask.  Then I finally figure it out and offer and by then he's such a mess he can't even answer.

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  • We're right there with you Tiff.  Payton grinds her teeth and screams bloody murder if she doesn't get her way lately. If redirecting doesn't work, I put her in time out, and if anything, it calms her down enough to try and reason with her.  ...although I know you mentioned before that timeouts weren't working, so that may not help.  

    Big hugs!  Hang in there, this too shall pass.

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  • I just wanted to say it is glad to hear we are all in a similar boat!  I too have the independent-minded, stubborn, I want it my way right now child.  And boy can he throw a whiny fit when he wants to.

    We use distraction a lot and time-outs (although most of the time they aren't too successful) and we bargain with him when we can.  We also change the scenery if it is something in the room that is making him act that way.  But really I think that until their reasoning skills catch up with their wants and needs we just have to ride some of this out.

    I hope he starts talking soon so at least you can try communicating to him about why he is so upset without him having to drag you around :)

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