hhmmmm...

BethS2006

So I know I have been a bottle full of crank lately ladies, and I appreciate your listening ears, and non-judgement...  I am still having a tough time, and in chatting with my neighbor (who is a fabulous doula...) I am thinking I might be fighting some post-partum anxieties and increased depression... she said it can happen up to a year out...  that, and the babies continual sicknesses and ear infections, and me having bronchitis are all piling up, and I thought I was going to lose it at the Drs office yesterday...  the babies were spent, not feeling well, and if one wasnt crying, the other was, as I waited 30min to see my dr...  and then DH came home usual time last night.,.  I just need a break... I am sick, I cant rest,  am still getting up with babies... and honestly, I am sick of being so damn cranky and irritable all the time...

but the hmmmmm.... is that I was checking our bank accounts, and gee yesterday, an order went out for a mom's bracelet...  he mentioned to me earlier in the week that he didnt know why it wasnt here yet... I think it was a case of CYA... 

I am just feeling overwhelmed, underappreciated and crappy...  and I am THANKFUL to be able to crab it all out here!! 

Jas*sGirl

Huge huge huge huge huge hugs girly!!!  Do you have any family in the area that can watch the little ones for a good 4-5 hours?  So you can become one with the couch and just veg out for a bit!  Or maybe hand over the twins to DH and go out for some retail therapy?  Again huge hugs!!!

jwt6

Hugs. But maybe you should talk to your Dr. about ppd. You have a lot on your plate and it is easy to get overwhelmed. I always feel like I need a break and I only have one. But talk it over with your DH, maybe he doesn't realize how you feel and would help out more if he did. Do try to remember though that it will get better (at least that is what people tell me) with time. Good luck and best wishes!

AnnetteWalker

Huge hugs and support from me. I can tell from your posts that your overworked and underappriciated and you need a break.

Do you have a family member who can come over or your neighbor to give you a break for even just an hour. It is hard to step away and leave your babies with someone else but it really does help. Even if it is just an hour. I remember my parents coming over and forcing me to take a nap. I kept telling them no I had all these things that needed to get done and they said no you need to go take a nap and rest for a bit. It was true you too need a break.

IdahoGirl

girl...I've said before and I'll say it again, I don't know how you do it.  I have one little baby with minor (but seem like major to me) tummy troubles and I loose it on a regular basis.

But then again, I'm a wimp and the Queen of the Worry Warts with a good healthy dose of Complainitis thrown right in.

That having been said...I think it's healthy that we complain and I love that our board doesn't do any judging....we all have our trials.

I think that you should talk to T and tell him that, on a day the twinkies would be in day care anyway, he's on point for that day and night - hire a night dola for him if he needs help - and that you're going to check into a plush hotel and sleep.

You need it - your body is telling you that - and you DESERVE it.

BethS2006

Thanks ladies!!    I feel so much better just having my feelings validated... and knowing I have this support!  

I plan on having a good sit down talk with T this weekend...  its gotta happen, or I am not going to check in to the plush hotel, I'm gonna check into a funny farm!

Unfortunately, we have no family in the area...  mine is non-existant anyway(one, literally loopy aunt on Cape Cod and her 2 boy crazy, out of control 19 and 21 year old girls) and Tony's is in Iowa....  we've got a few babysitters and maybe I'll see if I can get one of them to come over a few hours or if a neighborhood HS kid wants to lend a hand during that dinner/bath withching hours....  but what I really want, is for my DH to be a parent with me, and put us first...

sigh....    I also think I'll seek out someone to help with the possible PPD/PPA   .....  my primary was of no help (and with 2 screaming sick twins, yesterday was not the time to talk about it)

KNemo

IdahoGirl:

girl...I've said before and I'll say it again, I don't know how you do it.  I have one little baby and I loose it on a regular basis.

But then again, I'm a wimp and the Queen of the Worry Warts with a good healthy dose of Complainitis thrown right in.

That having been said...I think it's healthy that we complain and I love that our board doesn't do any judging....we all have our trials.

I think that you should talk to T and tell him that, on a day the twinkies would be in day care anyway, he's on point for that day and night - hire a night dola for him if he needs help - and that you're going to check into a plush hotel and sleep.

You need it - your body is telling you that - and you DESERVE it.

This exactly!! Big hugs. You are amazing Mama!!

pearly1

I (obviously) haven't had PPD but have had to deal with anxiety and depression. While I was reluctant to take meds at first, my therapist suggested just trying some to help me get back to a "baseline," just to get my head above water. I took his advice, and I'm so glad I did.?

You have so much to deal with right now in your life, and if there's something chemical going on in your brain that is setting you at a further disadvantage towards dealing with everything, that's not fair to you or anybody else. ?They say that kids of depressed mommies are more likely to have depression themselves later in life... one more reason to take care of yourself!! I know how hard it is to approach this when your feeling down to begin with - it feels like an insurmountable obstacle, and I admit it is a lot of hard work - but if you find something that helps you, whether it's therapy or drugs or both (or you find some way to do it without either...) ?the hard work will really be worth it.

Good luck with everything! I really feel for ya!?

Alli923

I'm so sorry things are so difficult for you right now. 

While I haven't dealt with PPD, I have dealt with depression and I second what Pearly said about talking to your doc about meds and if they're right for you.  I was on them for about 4 months a few years ago and they really helped get back to a place where I could function normally.  I was very hesitant to take them at first and felt a lot of shame about it, but I'm so glad I did, they helped me tremendously.

Good luck and I really hope things get better soon!

pixelvixen

Big hugs to you Beth.  I hope you're able to figure things out.  There's nothing wrong with taking meds to make you feel better, to make you be you again.  Hang in there mama.  Big hugs!

Seattle_JiLLn

I'm pretty sure I was battling some PPD a year or so out.   I saw a therapist in Redmond who I really liked.  She takes MS insurance too.  if you're interested, pop me an email at jilln_home at hotmail and I'll send you her name and info.

BethS2006

thanks ladies...  I've been on zoloft for years now because of depression  and anxiety after my mom died 7 years ago... every time I try and wean off... its just not worth it... I even took it while pg, and havent stopped...   I think I'll spend some time this afternoon while the kiddies nap looking for some names...  I had a great therapist in seattle (if anyone ever needs a name... in a heartbeat!)  but its just too much to try to get in and see her... it would eat up 3 hours!  I need a local one....  and preferably one that prescribes, since my primary is hesitant to change anything...

hugs and thanks....

B

JRS72206

I'm SO late, but just wanted to say (((HUGS))) and you're amazing!