introducing myself
luckyangel
member
I have found that I dont really fit into the normal parenting board here...and I am lookin?for people who maybe have less than ideal situations to deal with.
I married my husband almost 2 years ago and 29 days after our wedding we got permanent sole custody of his 3 kids who were being neglected and physically abused by their biological mom. ?Only a month after that, their mom lost her right to have any and all contact with the children because she got high/drunk and told the cops she was going to kill me, my husbands parents, herself and the kids because she had lost everything and was going teach my husband what it is like to lose everything.
I do not have any children (but am pregnant now) so we are not your typical blended family but are working on it with this new baby on the way. ?
We have had more obstacles to overcome with the kids than most people can imagine...all because we had no idea while fighting for custody, how bad things had gotten at their mom's house...and it was BAD...like should have been on the news bad. ?We do have an amazing counselor who has helped us make incredible strides with the kids.
Anyway, I have 3 awesome step daughters 1 of whom we struggle with daily with lying, hitting, lying, lying, more lying...and 2 who have adjusted very very well to our living situation here. ?This new baby seems to be a good thing for 2 of the kids but the 3rd is starting to exhibit some less than ideal behaviors since we announced the pregnancy. ?I will probably be picking your brains ALOT in the next few months!
TIA!?
Re: introducing myself
Wow! Welcome, hopefully you will find some good advice & support from this board.
Oh & H&H 9 months!
They are 4 1/2, 7 next month and 8. ?All girls. ?And honestly most of the time they are AWESOME kids. ?Theyre so well behaved and I am so proud of them and how they act...there are just a few things we are still struggling with. ?
We have come a LONG LONG way from multiple nightmares each night, violence with our pets and eachother, cussing, breaking things including putting holes in walls and writing on walls and carpet, from crying and begging "please dont hit me", and flinching when an adult would just kindly put a hand on their shoulders etc...the oldest kid is so happy to be here, and terrified of having to go back to her mom's house (which wont happen for obvious reasons). ?The middle one is still very very angry though, she was her mom's best friend-her mom let her ditch school, let her stay up all night, let her sleep in her bed, etc. ?She never saw the brunt of her moms anger and violence like the older and younger children did. ?The little one saw a pic of their mom the other day and didn't know who it was...she doesnt remember her old house or her biological mom at all. ?She has however, started parrotting (if you will) the middle kid's behavior which is a problem.?
Wow, that is crazy! You have found the right board though. And yes, you are a typical blended family so please don't feel like you don't belong because you absolutely do. I am sure you are getting wonderful advice from the counselor but just keep showing all three of the kids a consistant and loving atmosphere and home. THey are at an age where the anger can go away buy it will take some time. Especially considering how old they were when they were removed from their mother's care. When it feels like you aren't making progress just look back at how far your family has come.
Welcome and GL!
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Thanks, that last thing you said is probably the best advice I have gotten in a long long time. ?You're totally right!?
Taagent is totally right. You should know that many of the woman on here are SMs and quite a few are even custodial SMs (I was until my 19yo SD moved out.) And many of us are dealing with SKs that have "issues" for lack of better words. Good luck and we are here...and honestly the more often you post here the more comfortable you will probably feel here so feel free.