Need advice

Futuremrssoll

Many of you have read on the Central PA board maybe that my DH and I just found out that we are going to be moving out to San Francisco in the late fall. ?We just told my family tonight and while my mom was really upset, she took it much better than I thought. ?Anyone have experience moving away from home with kids? ? Any ideas for how to make the best out of it? ?What are some ways I can make my mom and dad, as well as DH's family still feel like they get to see Hannah and ELi grow, even though we will be on the other side of the country?

Megan.10.06

I'm about an hour and a half from my family - nothing like across the country - but one thing we are going to do is set up a blog for pictures.  I don't know how internet savvy your family is, but it's an easy way to let them see the kids without being a huge hassle or project, and easier than personal emails too. 

 Maybe that could work for you?

lindyanne

I don't have kids but DH & I used a webcam when he moved out to CA 3 months before me...We could talk to each other a bit and he could see the dogs and talk to them (they're like our kids...he loved being able to see them and see them respond to him).  If you get it and set it up before you move and they already have or you get them internet, they're really easy to use.

PAAZwife

We live in AZ, family in PA.  We talk on the phone to my parents every night.  Caleb is old enough now that he holds the phone (with a paci in his mouth so he doesn't suck on the phone) while they talk and sing to him.  This weekend I finally got a webcam and have Skype up and running, so we're communicating through that now.  When my family came to visit two weeks ago Caleb recognized my mom immediately when she started singing her favorite song to him because he was used to hearing in every night. 

If I remember correctly, this is only going to be a 1 year thing for you.  I know it seems like a long time, but with a new baby it'll fly by!  You have to do what is best for your family (you, DH, and kids), and if that means going to CA, then your family will survive the year without you.

innerpeace

My sister (who is my best friend) lives in FL and we talk on the webcam on my laptop almost every day so that she can see J.  Also, I have a blog so that family and friends, no matter how far away they live, can see updates a few times a week on how J is growing.  Good luck!  I hope it isn't too much of a culture shock for you!

Futuremrssoll

Thanks for the encouragement and recommendations! ?I have thought about the webcam. ?Our computers are macs so we already have one, but my parents do not. ?Any webcam suggestions? ?Their computer is pretty darn old! ?The blog idea is a good idea too! ?I am sure our friends would like to be able to get on to that as well. ?My mom is afraid that Eli is going to forget who she is, now especially that he is saying, "Maga" for grandma when he sees her. ?I think too i am going to get his picture taken with each set of grandparents and have that in his room to see so we can have him see them. ?I am sure Eli will get a kick out of using a webcam.

rlthomas7

There's an awesome nestie on the 12-18 month board who lives in San Fran. Her little boy, Lucas, is Adam's age, so right around Eli's age too. At six months, we did a half birthday exchange on the 6-12 board and we got each other's names. If you want, I can e-mail her and ask her to contact you with some info about moving there. While I'd never want to leave family like you are, I'm so jealous. I love San Fran. In fact, Adam arrived 9 months after that vacation, so it holds a very special place in our hearts!

PAAZwife

I completely forgot about our blog.  I started it to keep everyone updated back in PA and our other family in St. Louis.  Like I said, we talk on the phone to my parents every night (DH's parents live five minutes away from us here in AZ), but it is hard to keep up with EVERYONE (sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc) on a routine basis.  The blog allows everyone to see what goes on and comment or email.  It is a huge time saver rather than uploading pics to emails or calling everyone individually. 

I also forgot to mention that we did a picture wall in DS's room.  Ours is a family tree with headshots of each member of the immediate family (our parents, sisters, brothers-in-law, and nephew).  In the mornings I take DS over to the wall and point to everyone and say something specific that he knows about each one (i.e. I sing the song my mom sings to him, or repeat a phrase that my sister uses with him).  He gets a huge smile on his face and definitely recognizes them even though he's only seen them in person for a total of about three weeks since he was born 8 1/2 months ago.

Futuremrssoll:

Any webcam suggestions?  Their computer is pretty darn old!

 
We just bought a Logitech webcam from Target for $35.  Skype recommended Logitech, and a friend who has used it successfully said you don't need anything top of the line, but don't get the cheapest one either.  That same friend has a DS who is about 7 months old.  They use Skype with the grandmother (who lives across the country too) every night and her DS gets excited just hearing the "Skype noise" when they're signing on at night.  Also, when the grandmother just came to visit, her DS got excited as soon as he saw here because he knew who she was just from Skype. 

Futuremrssoll:

My mom is afraid that Eli is going to forget who she is, now especially that he is saying, "Maga" for grandma when he sees her.

My mom does this too sometimes, but less now than she used to.  I get really annoyed when she mentions this because she acts like the distance isn't hard on us.  I'm the one who lives across the country from everyone I know and love.  I'm the one in a new place where I don't (didn't used to) know where things were or what activities there were to do in the area.  Why is it fair for her to make me/us feel bad for something that affects us too.  If you and Kyle decide that moving to CA for a year is what is best for his job and your family, then you've got to explain that to her and let her know how it makes you feel when she says things like this.

I'm pretty sure I'm the only one on this board who is doing this xcountry from family thing, so if you want to talk more about it, feel free to msg me on facebook.  Good luck with your decision.

Futuremrssoll

I'd love the San Fran mom's email address! ?That would be helpful! ?Or even her profile name and I can initiate contact on the 12-18 month board. ?Thanks so much!

rlthomas7

I talked to Trish and she'd be delighted to have you e-mail her and ask questions so that you already have one mom "friend" when you get to town. If you give me your e-mail address, I'll send you hers!