Anyone ever feel guilty about feeling unwell/complaining?

easjer05

I try to be very careful not to exaggerate how I'm feeling or coping and try not to complain around my friends who are still dealing with loss or IF.  I remember how much that could sting, so I try to be sensitive.

But today has been awful, I feel utterly miserable and I feel guilty about it.  I know other people have had it much worse and I know this will pass, and that it's all a good sign and everything.  But I just feel terrible (both physically and emotionally).  Am I alone?

HisKathy

I make sure to get my complaining out to people I know who haven't had m/c or IF so I can try not to complain in front of those who have.  Or I make sure to say "not that I'm not totally happy to be pregnant" when I complain.  But sometimes you just feel like poo and there's not much you can do about it and just want to whine.

So the m/s is kicking in bad, huh?

lindzed

yes.  I feel the same way.  Now that I am getting so big and uncomfortable its getting much harder.

kristin7701

My problem is more that I complain to DH all the time I think he just wants me to feel good and is kind of sick of hearing it. It's hard because this is just the complete opposite of my first PG where I felt great.

sgrl

I'm sorry you're feeling crappy - I don't see anything wrong in venting to friends when you feel bad - it doesn't mean you're not happy to be pregnant!

kimisuejoia

I'm way early, and haven't hit that point yet, but I remember reading a blog a looong time ago. In it the author mentioned that she had been getting flack from her IF friends who thought that she was being insensitive to them by mentioning her aches and pains (since they were not yet pg).

She responded that she was sorry they felt that way, but hoped that they could understand... IF and m/c had *taken* so many of the 'normal' pg experiences away from her, and while she was sorry that they felt uncomfortable reading her experiences she was not about to give away her right to express the few 'normal' experiences she did have (ie. aches and pains of a healthy growing baby).

It made so much sense, and really stuck with me. There is nothing wrong with trying to experience as much of regular pg as you can. No one would fault a woman who has never experienced a loss if she complained... Why is there a double standard for those of us who have? It doesn't mean we are not extremely grateful, it just means we're human and we are feeling uncomfortable!

Anna&Matt

If you're feeling bad it's ok to complain. I'd just try to avoid complaining to people who are dealing with IF or m/c as you said but other than that you've got to vent somewhere! Hope you feel better soon hun.

kmtfu

I feel the same exact way. The past couple weeks have been so rough and draining on me that I had to wonder how women go through this time and time again.... I felt AWFUL for thinking that way because I've waited so so so long for this. I just keep telling myself that it's going to be so incredibly worth it in the end.

Hang in there!