Please help... extreme jealousy, clingyness, and Mommy attachment

jodyplustwinsx2

OMFG I don't know what to do about Charlotte's jealousy and clingyness anymore. This morning, they were both up at 5 am but sort of hung out and babbled in their cribs until I got Charlotte out at 6 am. By then, Alice had fallen back to sleep, so it was just me and Charlotte. She was the world's happiest baby... she sat on my lap, we watched Wiggles, she kept smiling and laughing she was so happy.

Alice woke up 15 minutes later and Charlotte literally started screaming and didn't stop until I finally sped up the morning routine and gave them their milk and put them in bed a full HOUR early. She'd calm down if I held her, briefly, but if Alice so much as made a sound or, god forbid, tried to touch me, it was all over. She'd also scream every second that she wasn't touching me, so bathtime was a disaster. Breakfast lasted for maybe 10 minutes and she barely ate anything... as soon as she had a little bit to eat, she was screaming to get out and be held again. But, like I said, even holding her doesn't fully work because she wants my entire attention, so any attention I give to Alice sets her off again.

I really don't know what to do about this, but dealing with 1.5 hours of near solid screaming has made it clear that I need to do something. I just don't know what... it's awful because she isn't like this when I'm not around. It makes me feel like I break my own baby or something. She's FINE with other people. Ugh.

kyluvsaj

I wish I could help.  Mine are going through the same thing.  It is so frustrating.  Your older set didn't do this?  I just assumed it was a twin thing.

They don't do it to my husband.  Yesterday I literally had babies throwing themselves at me.

macchiatto

I wish I could help but mine are little; just wanted to say I love your new siggy pic! Your girls have gotten so big!

lstaylor73

Ugh, I was excited to see people reply to your posts in hopes that they may have some tips that might work for me too.  Cameron is a velcro baby lately and poor Evan is so sweet and independent but he still wants his mommy too.  No idea what to do.

Pixie4199

Hi Jody! ?Not sure if you remember me, it's been a while!

William started this behavior, though not as extreme in the length of time. ?I would welcome Daniel into whatever we were doing (ie: reading, playing blocks) and would have them both sitting on me and would tell William "see, you can share Mommy." ?He eventually became ok with it. ?He will still vie for my attention. ?If Daniel has fallen and is crying William will throw himself down and "cry." ?Of course I tend to Daniel first but will eventually go to William, too. ?I want him to know I'm there for him but not to reinforce the behavior.

I always think about the reinforcement...if they cry or whine or pitch a fit and I give in I am TOTALLY reinforcing the behavior!

I have also been reading "Happiest Toddler on the Block" and love the methods in that book. I did a lot of reflection with William. ?For example, when he was yelling or throwing a tantrum, I would look at him and say "your mad, mad mad! You want it now, now now!" ?And it would diffuse the intensity. Within a few weeks, instead of having the tantrum he would just say 'i'm mad, mad, mad!" ?It didn't change my reaction to him (ie" wanting me when Daniel needed me or wanting something) but he feels "heard" and it reduces the intensity of his reaction. Does any of this make sense?

If it continues it may be "clinical" separation anxiety and you may need some professional assistance.

I hope you find something useful in this post!

Hang in there!?