Babies: 9 - 12 Months

WWYD?

So, my sister is having a family cookout tomorrow.... it's at 1:30pm. ?My DH doesn't get home until 2:30pm and we live an hour away from my sister. ?So if I wait for him, we'll be there at 3:30... 2 hours late. ?Should I just go and DH can meet us there? ?I just hate the idea of driving two vehicles and wasting all that gas. ?And I hate how no one thinks of us... I know that might sound bratty, but seriously. ?They never think about my DH, he never comes to family stuff because they always have it early... they just assume I'll come alone and since it's my side they never really think much since I'm there. ?Half of me wants to wait to prove a point, that we're a package! ?Plus I hate going alone.?

Re: WWYD?

  • I would wait for him and then go together. If you keep doing that maybe your family will get the point!
  • It's compeletly up to you and how YOU want to spend your day... When it's DH family I wait for him to get home bc his family gets on my nerves ;)  Besides an hour drive is a nice drive for the three of you...  Again just depends on the people and who you want to spend your day with.
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  • star173star173 member

    Are you sure they are deliberatley not thinking of you guys? Maybe that's just the best time for them (obviously I don't know the whole situation).

    If it's an all afternoon thing, I'd just go after DH gets home. If it ends at 4;30 or 5:00 and you really want to go, then I'd go with DS and have DH meet you....otherwise, I'd just skip it.

  • I would wait for DH. If the bbq is like any that we host it will start late and they will eat late, so you might not miss much. Just be packed and ready to go when you DH gets home to save some time.

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  • I would wait for DH. Who cares if you are 2 hours late? It's their problem that they made the cookout so early. Go as a family. I know I hate driving alone with DD, especially if she is fussy. And it's even worse when it's time to leave and you and DH have to drive in separate cars right next to eachother. Don't inconvenience yourself.
  • Honestly, I probably would not go.
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  • I don't know if it's deliberate, I'm sure it's not but they just don't notice when I show up alone... it's like no big deal, but it's a big deal to me. ?I say things and my mom always schedules stuff to try to make sure my DH can make it because she knows it upsets me. ?

    He gets mandated to work doubles all the time, like today... he left at 4am and won't be home till 10pm. ?His own family is having a cookout at 3pm... and we were suppose to go together, but he just called and told me he has to work a double. ?I might just go alone to his, but I don't know- they also live an hour away. ?At least they tried to schedule it so we could make it at a decent time.?
  • While it would be nice if they started it later, maybe that is the time that works best for everyone else. I wouldn't expect a family bbq to start later just for me.
  • I would definitely wait for DH and go as a family. My family BBQs tend to go late though, so we wouldn't miss too much by being two hours late. If it's going to end an hour after you get there though, I would skip it alltogether.

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  • I would wait. But I wouldnt make it a big deal, either. It's probably just a good time for everyone.
  • I would wait for him or not go unless its something that YOU really want to go hang out at and are looking forward to. I wouldn't take separate cars either. That annoys me.
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  • I'll wait then. ?I know I shouldn't make a big deal, and I don't think the world revolves around us, but it's hard for me... it seems like every holiday I'm packing up Jack and cooking a dish all to go to somewhere alone.
  • i would wait, it is most likely the best time for everyone since it is a holiday and some people have the day off. Maybe you could mention something to her about future GTG's?
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  • I will be different and say; I would just go and let DH relax when he gets home and not make him go, specially if he was working a double today. I know my DH would love the couple hours to relax and unwind. 
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  • imageMrs.McLovin:
    While it would be nice if they started it later, maybe that is the time that works best for everyone else. I wouldn't expect a family bbq to start later just for me.


    Ditto this.  It sounds like they wanted to do something around lunchtime.  One person's wacky work schedule won't dictate everyone else's plans. 

    Why don't you start hosting some events if you want to set the time?
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  • I would also wait to go with dh.

    I went through a similar thing with my family. They would always expect me to be there for every holiday and they didn't really seem to care if it meant dh and I couldn't be together. Since we had such big families who all wanted us different places we just started staying home and inviting them to our house for the major holidays.

  • I'd only wait if you want to wait. If you would have fun for those 2 hours ahead of time then go.

    And try not to take it personally if they plan things for when your DH is working. It sounds like he works "non-business" hours and that he may be the only one with that sort of work schedule. I get it. My DH is on call 24-7 and often works crazy hours and has to miss stuff. But I have a big family (I'm one of 5 kids and 4 of us are married) and to try to schedule things so that it works for EVERYONE is impossible. We can't go to my dad's birthday dinner tomorrow because we are busy. But they understand. 

    Plus, I've come to terms with the fact that no one really cares if DH and I even show anymore up as long as they get to see our kids :)  We could send the kids in a cab and stay home ourselves and they'd be happy LOL!

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