Babies: 9 - 12 Months

Disciplining other peoples' kids.

So, my grandma pawns off everything in her house to me when I visit.  Tonight while reading a Family Circle magazine circa 1998 I came across an article about the fear and trepidation involved with disciplining other peoples' kids.

It was sorta timely b/c I was watching my friend's kids today (4 and 3) and had to put the youngest one in a few-minute timeout for throwing a ball too roughly at me/DS.  I honestly don't think my friend would mind (nor would I mind if my friends did it to my DS if he acted up).  Maybe it's b/c the friends we bring around DS tend to share our parental/other philosophies?
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DS1 born June 2008 | m/c at 9w March 2011 | DS2 born April 2012

Re: Disciplining other peoples' kids.

  • My friends, who either know my typical discipline style or parent their own children the same way? Yes, absolutely. If I'm not around and my kids do something that is inappropriate, I would be fine with a close friend or family member handling the situation.

    But, the strange lady at WalMart who wagged her finger in my son's face in the washroom for being "too noisy" and threatening him to make him go sit in a washroom stall while I was changing Abby's diaper? Yeah no. I wanted to break her finger, but was almost too shocked to move or say anything. 

  • I think if you're babysitting them then yes.

    If you're sitting at the dr.office and some kid picks and flicks at you, no.

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  • I do believe that it has something to do with having similar parenting styles.  My sister and I are very different in how we parent, and she has called me out on "disciplining" her kids. However, I have a very close girlfriend that has a similar parenting style, and we will say "no" to each others kids with no repercussions. I also think some people are just more sensitive than others. I don't really mind if someone else tells my DS "no" when I know I probably should have spoken up. 

    I am curious about this article.

  • It's all about communication.  Our neighbors have a little girl, and I know their lines.  If they would discipline her for something, they have given us permission to do so in their stead.  I'm more of a softie than they are, so she's getting less punishment with us than with her parents, but she is getting consistency.  It keeps her from acting one way with her parents and another way with other grown ups and trying to get away with things. 

    But, if I hadn't had that conversation OR the parenting-philosophy question, then I wouldn't do it.  I think consistency is so important that I don't want to discipline a kid for something they didn't know they would get it trouble for, ya know? 

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  • star173star173 member
    imageMrs.Provost:
      

    But, the strange lady at WalMart who wagged her finger in my son's face in the washroom for being "too noisy" and threatening him to make him go sit in a washroom stall while I was changing Abby's diaper? Yeah no. I wanted to break her finger, but was almost too shocked to move or say anything. 

    I totally just made this face IRL: Indifferent

    I don't know what I would've done- throatpunching comes to mind, but what sort of example would that set for K. I guess I'd just kick her in the shin so K wouldn't see. ;)

  • imagestar173:
    imageMrs.Provost:
      

    But, the strange lady at WalMart who wagged her finger in my son's face in the washroom for being "too noisy" and threatening him to make him go sit in a washroom stall while I was changing Abby's diaper? Yeah no. I wanted to break her finger, but was almost too shocked to move or say anything. 

    I totally just made this face IRL: Indifferent

    I don't know what I would've done- throatpunching comes to mind, but what sort of example would that set for K. I guess I'd just kick her in the shin so K wouldn't see. ;)

    That's totally the face that I made when she did it. She just came out of nowhere, with the "You need to mind your manners in public, and if you don't listen while your Mommy is busy, then I'll have you sit in the washroom".

    I wanted to DIE. I told her that he was fine, he was 3 and I was absolutely not upset with his behaviour. I also told her that if the sound of a child makes her that angry, she should consider staying home. She huffed, and walked away muttering. B-tch.

  • imageMrs.Provost:

    But, the strange lady at WalMart who wagged her finger in my son's face in the washroom for being "too noisy" and threatening him to make him go sit in a washroom stall while I was changing Abby's diaper? Yeah no. I wanted to break her finger, but was almost too shocked to move or say anything. 

    I would have face-pushed that crazy lady.

  • imageMrs.Provost:

    My friends, who either know my typical discipline style or parent their own children the same way? Yes, absolutely. If I'm not around and my kids do something that is inappropriate, I would be fine with a close friend or family member handling the situation.

    But, the strange lady at WalMart who wagged her finger in my son's face in the washroom for being "too noisy" and threatening him to make him go sit in a washroom stall while I was changing Abby's diaper? Yeah no. I wanted to break her finger, but was almost too shocked to move or say anything. 

    If you had been in FL I would have bet money that this crazy lady was my mother.

    I agree with some of the pp's. Babysitting them, yes (depending on the instructions of course) but some strangers kids, no. I have however given some wild kids 'the look' when I have seen them acting like hoodlums (sp?). I have an excellent 'look' and it usually sends them sulking back the their parents lol.

  • imageBejebus:

     

    But, if I hadn't had that conversation OR the parenting-philosophy question, then I wouldn't do it.  I think consistency is so important that I don't want to discipline a kid for something they didn't know they would get it trouble for, ya know? 



    I hear what you're saying.  But if a kid over-hand throws a large rubber ball directly at my head, he's going in time-out if I'm in charge.  If his mom is there I'm going to bring it to her attention and ask her to take care of it.  If it's not in her parenting philosophy to deal with that, fooey on her.

    Mrs. Provost, good response to Crazy Lady!  Yes
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    DS1 born June 2008 | m/c at 9w March 2011 | DS2 born April 2012
  • I've totally done it (as has the hubs).  When a giant kid jumps off a toy firetruck landing on your kid's head, you yell at him.  Especially when he isn't suppose to be there in the first place and his mom isn't interested in doing anything but talking on her cell phone.  Or how about the kid at the splash pad who is pushing his little sister's face into water so she can't breathe, but their dad isn't interested in stopping it. 

    Yeah, I discipline other people's kids, and I'm not even sorry.

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