Whiney Toddler w/ Just mom?

mediadiva

I think my daycare must think I am really weird. First off let me say I am a "glass half full" kind of person. My daughter is delightful, fun and her tantrums really aren't that bad. With all that said she is a fussy mussy for ME and no one else BUT me. I don't mind it but I wish it wasn't so MUCh. She is a GEM at daycare, perfect all day even on days she is sick. Never bitten a kid even though she's been bitten like 5 times in 6 months (small bites and never broken spin etc).

 So some days we have a not so fun (being nice here, basically horrible) car ride to daycare where she screams the entire time or whines and I have to chase her around the house to change her diaper and get her clothing on (NOT all mornings are like this, but a few days a week on average start out this way). So I'll come into daycare and say well she was not int he best mood today and they will say when I pick her up "she was fine all day, great mood" or I'll bring her in like this morning and say "she's in a great mood today" and they will say "she's in a great mood every day". Makes me feel like I must be doing something wrong, she's so good for daycare and if I leave the house she doesn't wine nearly as much for my husband as when I am present.

 I think I spoil her, like in the car she's used to me handing her stuff a lot, and if I give her stickers (she's in the center and it's a small car) well the stickers keep her happy but she gets mad they are on her fingers so she wines until I reach back and pull one off her finger. So I probably created a bit of my own problem by being TOO responsive but she is such a happy kid to begin with and if for example she says "momma please" I like to reward her nice asking by responding. I guess I need to ignore her whining more. DH says when she whines I always turn to her and say "what" where when he hears her whine he ignores her and thus she doesn't wine at hime anymore.

 Am I the only one like this?

MinnEMsota

Darby whines a lot with me too.  Or even not whining but just constantly wanting my attention.  "Mama.  Mama.  Mama. Mommy.  Mama."  Sometimes he just wants me to say "hi, Darby" or "what?"

He knows that I always respond to him and that he can get me to do a lot of things for him.  So, I'm realizing that I've created that too.

But, here's my other theory on the whole thing.  Darby trusts me most out of anyone in the world.  He feels safest with me.  And I think he knows that he can let his guard down and be himself and show whatever mood he's in.  I remember that Heather Armonstrong from dooce.com (the greatest "mommy blog" out there) put it best one time "I hope that [child] will always feel like she can lose her sh*t in front of me, because I will always be there for her."

mediadiva

well that is really a half glass full way to look at it for sure, thank you for that

TheMalleys

MinnEMsota:

But, here's my other theory on the whole thing.  Darby trusts me most out of anyone in the world.  He feels safest with me.  And I think he knows that he can let his guard down and be himself and show whatever mood he's in.  I remember that Heather Armonstrong from dooce.com (the greatest "mommy blog" out there) put it best one time "I hope that [child] will always feel like she can lose her sh*t in front of me, because I will always be there for her."

These are my thoughts exactly. My DD whines a lot too. Especially when I get home from work she clings to me and whines. I also found out that this started to increase when she went down to 1 nap. In the evenings she was just really too tired. We started bringing back the second nap, from about 5-6pm. It doesn't make much family time, but I would rather have a happy and playful DD for 2 hours in the evening, then a clingy whiny one for 3. If you find that she is whiny in the morning, perhaps try to put her to bed an hour earlier, maybe she is not rested enough in an am when she wakes up.

So part of the whinyness could be, cause you are her mom, she feels she can be whiny with you another part could be she is just tired or irritated too.