Poll: are you "attached" to the baby?

jenny1980

Maybe it's because I'm feeling crummy or maybe it's because I haven't had a doctor's appointment yet (so it doesn't quite feel really-real), but I don't feel super "attached" to the baby yet.

Don't get me wrong: I'm super excited about our first born and delighted we're pregnant. I'd be devastated if anything went wrong. It's more of a disconnect between the idea of a baby and what's actually going on in the belly. Plus, seeing photos of a 7 week fetus just creeped me out, lol.

 

 

miss_beckman

I may get flamed for not being attatched yet.

I don't want to get my hopes high just incase. until this one is in my arms, I won't be attatched.

I am excited and happy yes, I don;t expect anything to go wrong but I can't see what's in my/our future...

as of now, no I am not attatched.

TDKitty

I absolutely feel the same way, and I'm almost done with the first tri. I think once I can feel the baby move it will seem more "real" on a daily basis. It may also be that I haven't had an ultrasound yet--it will be so weird to actually see the little bugger swimming around in there!

mooeta

Not quite, but I am still very happy that I'm pregnant.

Jael Baldwin

It takes a while, according to my friend who just had a baby. I'm 11 weeks and still feel kind of detached... not that I don't love the baby, but it won't seem really real to me until I'm showing, although hearing the heartbeat helped a lot.

Jerseygirl16

Hey .. you are from the MM board right?  Congratulations! 

 

To answer your question... yes, I am very attached now.  The pregnancy was a complete shock, timing is horrible, but the moment I had some pink spotting Sunday night I knew without a doubt how badly I want this baby to stick.

liv97

I kind of feel like its just a bunch of cells right now, so not too attached. 

KMT to JWH

Oh i'm so glad there are other people that feel that way. I am so excited for this baby but still do not feel attached.

userdeleted

No not really, although I'm sure I would be devastated if we lost this baby.

I was the same way with DS, so I'm not too surprised this time around. I think it's more normal than people will usually admit

SpartanGirl

I have moments where I feel a twinge of "oh my gosh, my baby!", but for the most part, no, I'm not attached yet.  With my other kids I know I felt much more attached the more we planned and once I could feel them move.

kimberleigh30

I know what you mean. ?I saw the baby on the u/s but it was just a blog with a flicker of a heartbeat. ?Once I get my next u/s and it actually looks like a baby I'm hoping to feel a connection to it, or if I get to hear a heartbeat so I know it's alive.

bbowie

I am head over heels attached.  With DS, however, I didn't get attached until after he was born.  For me, I think it's b/c I know what it's like now (having been through it before).  I'm also gonna be more cautious this time around I think b/c I know how precious it is.

LovinTim912

I am attached in that I am very excited and would totally be devastated if anything were to happen. ?But I can't really "imagine" him/her and it still doesn't feel 100% real yet... even with hearing the heartbeat and seeing it grow from sonogram to sonogram.

peppermintgirl

I didn't feel attached until almost 20 weeks. I started feeling little flutters shortly after the anatomy scan, and those combined helped me to start thinking in terms of "my baby" as opposed to "the embryo/fetus".

adam+katie

Not really.  I am scared that I won't like my baby.  Does that seem strange?  I think once I start to look/feel more pregnant, things will change.

Bronxgirl73

I do feel attached, but it doesn't always seem real.  When i look at the u/s pics and hear the HB it seems real, but sometimes i feel like it's just a fantasy of something I want really bad.  I've been waiting so long for this that sometimes it doesn't feel real that it's actually happening.

ivs112

adam+katie:

Not really.? I am scared that I won't like my baby.? Does that seem strange?? I think once I start to look/feel more pregnant, things will change.

Are you serious??? ?

berryblndgirl

I am definitely attached. It still doesn't seem totally real to me yet, but I am very excited about this baby and would be absolutely devastated if we lost him/her. We have been waiting, hoping and praying for this baby for a while.

jenny1980

ivs112:

adam+katie:

Not really.  I am scared that I won't like my baby.  Does that seem strange?  I think once I start to look/feel more pregnant, things will change.

Are you serious???  

Oh please. Don't flame her for voicing a totally normal fear.

I hate how moms get all holier-than-thou about that stuff.

 

ivs112

jenny1980:

ivs112:

adam+katie:

Not really.? I am scared that I won't like my baby.? Does that seem strange?? I think once I start to look/feel more pregnant, things will change.

Are you serious??? ?

Oh please. Don't flame her for voicing a totally normal fear.

I hate how moms get all holier-than-thou about that stuff.

?

I'm not flaming her! I was seriously asking if she thought she would dislike her child. Feeling detached and disliking your child are 2 very different things.?

uvalori85

I just wanted to add that I was second-guessing my level of attachment the other day. And then I started bleeding and I absolutely lost it. It definitely secured my attachment to this baby. So though it's often surreal that there's a baby in there. I am very, very attached.

Goldengirl16

Um, not neccessarily.  I was wondering the same thing.  It took us well over a year and a half to conceive this baby and I'm super, SUPER excited, but I still don't feel like this is real yet.  I always feel like the other shoe is going to drop and it won't be there anymore.  I hope once I know the sex of the baby and I can feel she/he move, I'll start to feel more attached. 

policewife08

I'm with you all!  I'm not really attached yet.  I don't really have any hopes or dreams for this child and I have no motherly instincts yet either.

Don't get me wrong...  We are over the moon that we will have this baby, and I am doing everything I can do to make sure the baby will be healthy, but I think I'm scared to get too attached just yet.

easjer05

Yes and no.  Not nearly as attached as the first planned pregnancy.  Even though I knew deep down something was wrong, I was head over heels then.  This time has been a lot more forced detachment, as if that would protect me if something went wrong.

I grow more attached everyday.  I know I want this baby in my arms, but I don't know if I would say I love it yet.  I do - in an abstract sense.  But not as someone I know well yet, if that makes sense.

kauai04

policewife08:

Don't get me wrong...  We are over the moon that we will have this baby, and I am doing everything I can do to make sure the baby will be healthy, but I think I'm scared to get too attached just yet.

This is how I feel exactly.  I am doing all I can possibly do to have a healthy baby but I am terrified to get too excited.

Temp6313048411121614

I'm not even though I've already had an U/S.  Honestly, I wasn't really attached to DS before he was born.  I loved him and all and was always thanking God when I'd read about someone losing their baby either with m/c or stillbirth, but I wasn't head over heels in love with him like some say they are until I first saw him on the outside (and then it was an overwhelming flood of emotions and the strongest love imaginable). 

userdeleted

ivs112:

jenny1980:

ivs112:

adam+katie:

Not really.  I am scared that I won't like my baby.  Does that seem strange?  I think once I start to look/feel more pregnant, things will change.

Are you serious???  

Oh please. Don't flame her for voicing a totally normal fear.

I hate how moms get all holier-than-thou about that stuff.

I'm not flaming her! I was seriously asking if she thought she would dislike her child. Feeling detached and disliking your child are 2 very different things. 

Don't be dense. She said she was afraid she wouldn't like the baby, not that she actually dislikes her child. It is a totally normal fear, one that I had myself. 

Adam+Katie - you are experiencing something that many many women go through. You will like your child. Your child will like you. Now, don't be surprised if you don't fall head over heels right away when they're born, after all, they're strangers who arrive screaming and demand food! But you will get used to each other, bond, and love each other very much okay? It's alright to worry about it in the meantime though  

irishdancer

Rach03k:

ivs112:

jenny1980:

ivs112:

adam+katie:

Not really.  I am scared that I won't like my baby.  Does that seem strange?  I think once I start to look/feel more pregnant, things will change.

Are you serious???  

Oh please. Don't flame her for voicing a totally normal fear.

I hate how moms get all holier-than-thou about that stuff.

I'm not flaming her! I was seriously asking if she thought she would dislike her child. Feeling detached and disliking your child are 2 very different things. 

Don't be dense. She said she was afraid she wouldn't like the baby, not that she actually dislikes her child. It is a totally normal fear, one that I had myself. 

Adam+Katie - you are experiencing something that many many women go through. You will like your child. Your child will like you. Now, don't be surprised if you don't fall head over heels right away when they're born, after all, they're strangers who arrive screaming and demand food! But you will get used to each other, bond, and love each other very much okay? It's alright to worry about it in the meantime though  

 

Ditto.  What many women won't tell you is that you may not feel attached even after the baby is born.  It's totally normal, and in no way is indicative of the amount of love and bond that you will grow to feel for him/her.