"When you stop looking for it, it'll happen ..."

versed

... Says the friend who has been married for five years to her first/only boyfriend since she was 16.?

I believe this is the dating?equivalent?to that TTC gem of advice "When you stop trying, it'll happen!"

I love my friend, but I wanted to kick her in the shins (a la May). I'm approaching 30 quickly - I'm not going to just stop looking for someone to date! Jeez.?

?

Mrs.Fortener

That saying always gets me going... So you stop looking and mr. right is just going to come knocking on your door?  I dont think so.  I think you should go ahead and kick her in the shins!  You will find someone that fits!

ECUTeacher

lord! Some people!!!

sdkrlm

isn't that the same as "when you relax, you'll get pg?"  what a crock of shitt.

I'm sorry

versed

sdkrlm:

isn't that the same as "when you relax, you'll get pg?"? what a crock of shitt.

Exactly!?

BetchySprout

I want to throatpunch your friend for saying that. She has no idea what she is talking about and should keep it shut!

 

(That said, I met DH at the grocery store)

versed

Pattypoundcake:

(That said, I met DH at the grocery store)

I saw a cutie at CVS today, and I thought "maybe he's the one ... the one I'll say 'we met buying batteries at CVS'" but I had to pee so bad (I was pretty close to doing the dance) that I just ran to the register and got home as quick as possible.?

Darn bladder.?

Crazycrustacean

Want me to slap reality into her? Because I will.?

SuzP

I always hated hearing that.  It was not helpful at all and very frustrating. I was dating well into my 30's, not fun. Though begrudgingly I'll admit, I did meet DH when I swore off men and I hate that it happened that way because I got all of the "I told you so's.". 

I'm sorry your friend said that to you.  A definite shin kicking is in order. 

MayBride2B2007

i will gladly shin kick your friend.

BUT......i'll share my story with you instead.

at 30, i found myself 6 months out of a 6 year relationship, convinced i was destined to a life alone, and "dating" for the first time in my life (i was always a "if you smile at me i'll be your girlfriend until the relationship tanks" kind of girl and had never actually dated more than one person at a time).  i joined match.com and literally dated 4-5 nights/week (different guys) for a few months.  it got old very quickly and i made the decision that in january, i would stop my membership and just focus on me for a while without the pressure of finding my next partner.

late december, on a whim, i "winked" at a red headed boy (i say boy because this boy happened to be younger than my 30 year old ancient self).  the whim part was because aside from his witty profile, he wasn't my "type" at all.  he emailed me the next day.  we emailed for a week and met for a first date at starbucks on 1/3/05, the night my dreaded alone at 30 changed.

that red head now snores next to me. 

it's not that i ever stopped looking, it was more that i started looking differently, both at myself and at the men i might potentially date.  so you don't have to stop looking, because let's face it, that would be plain boring.  but, don't be surprised if you find what you are looking for where and when you least expect it.   

versed

Thanks! I am trying to be more open to the guys on Match and perking up the profile and winking and the likes. Especially now that I've got a little break from school, I'm going to turn into an "active" match-er rather than my usual passive self.

You girls have some great stories and offer some hope ?

Kaybee44

I am sorry that your friend said that to you especially since she's with her first boyfriend who she met so young. It's not like she was looking for love when he came along. That being said, I have, sadly, said that to my friends

I met DH on match.com as well. I was on eharmony and was signing off and up came a pop-up ad for match. I thought "Sure. Why not? I'll try it until my 3 month subscription runs out." I talked to a few guys and was about to give up because I wasn't finding that person that I wanted to meet face to face. I had just sent a message to some guy when I noticed a button I had never seen people. You could view the profiles of people who had viewed yours. I figured that if they viewed it, I must have something they're looking for. I was going through the ages and pictures when this one picture just struck me. He had gorgeous blue eyes that just stuck out to me and such a handsome serious face. I read his profile and it said he loved to read and would love suggestions for books. I thought that I was probably not his type but decided that the worst that could happen would be for him to say "No thanks" or not answer at all. I was shocked, SHOCKED, when he wrote back to me and told me that he was just getting ready to send me a message when he got mine. We emailed for about 3 weeks and decided to meet. We talked in the car for about 4 hours after the movie theatre closed. We would have talked longer but the cops came and told us to leave because we were loitering His exact words were "Get a room" We got married on the 2nd anniversary of our first date. 

The right man is out there. Unfortunately, it does take patience which I never had a lot of I know you will find the man you are looking for. I'll put it a different maybe better way than your friend did. He won't come when you stop looking. He'll come when you're looking the other way. After all, they say that love is like getting blind-sided  

ourlittlebean

i have no advice. ?just a hug for my "bean sister". ?hang in there. ?and yeah - we'll kick your friends arse if you want us to!!

pinkwedding05

:::rolls eyes:::  She sounds like she's full of pearls of wisdom. 

847Christine

That used to drive me nuts too.  I hope it makes you feel better to hear that I went from single w/no prospects to married w/a baby in less than 4 years.  I didn't meet DH until I was almost 32, so it definitely can work out just fine.  I'll reiterate, if you happen to move to DC, my very cute, sweet, & ready to settle down BIL lives there...  Just sayin.