Parenting after a Loss

guilt

Sometimes i find my self holding my little one and wishing that she were her sister.  That my other angel had made it.  When i have those thoughts i then feel so guilty because i know that if Rose had lived we would never gone on to have Celia and i love her i do... with all my heart.  I just get so conflicted. 

Re: guilt

  • I think that most of us who have had m/c struggle a bit with the thought of "what if" and the repercussions of it.  I mean, for ALL of us, if our first baby had made it, then we wouldn't have the one we have.  Its a very very weird thing to think about.

    I wouldn't beat yourself up about it...feeling grief and sadness is normal.  You lost a child and that will never leave you.  But you do have a beautiful daughter now...and it turns out that she was the one who was meant to be in your arms, you will never forget her sister, but snuggle with the one you have and know that her sister feels the love too.


    A

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    M/c #1 - 10/30/07 - 5w3d, DS1 - born at 36w, M/c#2 - 12/7/09 - 5w, M/c #3 - 1/13/10 - 4w6d, 
    M/c #4 - 3/16/10 - 5w1d, DS2 -  born via VBAC at 40w3d, M/c#5 - 11/5/12 - 7w2d
    BFP #8 - 5/5/13- Looks like a sticky one! DS3 - born via epi-free VBAC at 39w1d

  • versedversed member
    (((hugs)))
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  • I don't think there is anything wrong with the way you are feeling. ?It is very natural to wonder "what if" ?I had two early m/c and often wonder what those two babies would be like.
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