Parenting after a Loss

So you guys want to hear how the nanny talk went?

Heh. It was as I thought..she wanted to talk about her philosophy of sleep training and the importance of naps. This was all brought about because before I left for work this afternoon, the babies just were NOT wanting to take a morning nap (which is unusual, usually they go right to sleep around 8:30 or 9 and sleep until 11).  Well, after almost 2 hours of them waking up and fussing, I said, "Maybe we should give up and just take them for a walk and then feed them and try again around 1")

Well, when I got home, she had a whole big speech prepared about how she doesn't like to "give up", it's her job to help teach them and help them with their development, and that when its time for their naps, she wants them to spend a solid 2 hours resting, so if they are fussing and crying she will sit there and touch them or talk to them but she won't pick them up after the first time, because they are already old enough to know how to manipulate us and get what they want etc. Basically... sleep training. 

So, I let her talk for awhile and then when she was winding down, I thanked her, as she had clearly been waiting all day to tell me all this, that I respected her opinion (because of course that's why I hired her), that my Ferber book had just arrived today (it had) and I was planning to read it this weekend, and that ultimately Mr. Skat and I would gather as much information as we could - including from her - and then we would make a decision on the best course moving forward, which I "knew she would support." 

I think I did a pretty good job letting her know that while her advice is invaluable to me, ultimately I want to be the one to decide (with Mr. Skat of course) when to start sleep training and what method to use.  She seemed down with it I think..especially because fundamentally I agree with her on a lot of it. 

Re: So you guys want to hear how the nanny talk went?

  • I was just thinking about when you were going to update! She better be down with your plan!! haha after all it is your children! =) Although I am sure she will hop along with whatever you decide!

    You are excused from detantion with weekend homework to read Ferber! =) 

  • Well, sounds like it was pretty good.  Honestly Skat, you are lucky she wants to help sleep train the kiddos.  My problem is that my nanny would prefer to rock Maya to sleep than hear her cry.  It's a problem, as I'm totally on board with Ferber.  Sometimes Maya fights her naps when she is SO CLEARLY tired, and the nanny will either rock her to sleep or will give up and I come home to this exhausted baby. 

    Read Ferber; hopefully it will work for you guys.

    Like you don't have enough to think about already!!

    :)

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  • oops. *detention*...cant type today!
  • i'm so glad nobody was sent to bed without dinner!  happy reading.  you'll figure out what works for you and your kittens.
  • sounds like it went pretty well. ?good luck on what ever you guys decide to do x 2!!?
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  • It sounds like your nanny is very intelligent on these matters and was looking out for what is best for the babies and your family though!  That's great - and like unlike Mia's nanny, she will reinforce what y'all want to do instead of potentially undoing the sleep training.  (I know that Mia's nanny is back on board, but I just remember her telling us about it a few months ago)
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