Am I being a big baby? (long MIL vent)

bear2115

We were supposed to go to IL's this weekend, they just called and FIL is sick so we aren't going, thank god.  I'm actually kind of surprised they told us he's sick.  They have only been here 1 time to see Maggie and they only live 3 hours away.  They want to show her off to all their friends.  My MIL is passive aggressive to a T.  She makes snide remarks about my DH asking her to make sure that everyone is healthy that wants to come by.  Anyway, now she has taken a whole day off work in 2 weekends when my DH is going down there for a charity golf outing and she wants me to come with Maggie.  She told him, "she can go shopping or sleep all day I will watch Maggie the whole day, tell her we really really want her to come, doesn't she like us?" I do NOT want to leave maggie with them for a second.  The last time they were here MIL was holding the pacifier in her mouth even though Maggie was obviously trying to spit it out and she actually laughed when it gagged her, and said "ooops I gagged her hahaha" and put the pacifier back in.  I also don't want to sit there with them all day when DH is at the golf outing.  I always feel like I have to perform when I'm around them.  MIL is the most passive aggressive, negative, hypochondriach person I have ever met and I can't stand her.  I told DH that I didn't want to go when he is going to be out and he is giving me crap about it.  Maybe I am being a big baby and I should just suck it up and go.  They are her grandparents, but they have made little to no effort to come here to see her.  Ugh, it would've been so much better if we could've gone this weekend. Thanks for reading this far.

NoVaIrish

I can totally relate to you on this, but like you said they are her grandparents.  For me personally, it is really important that Michael has a good relationship with all of his grandparents (I remember feeling the tension between my Mom and her MIL and I ended up not being close to her at all) and I try to do everything I can to help facilitate that.  My ILs came to my house to watch Michael twice and I would use that opportunity to get out of the house to do things and I would stop back in pretty often to make sure things were ok the first time.  I know it's hard, and no she won't do everything you want her to do, but she loves her grandchild and wouldn't do anything to hurt her.  You can go and do things and come back every hour or so to make sure DD is ok.  Then you get the credit of being the good DIL/wife and don't have to feel guilty next time they ask you to come visit and you say no.

Runaway Bride!

That's tough! Any chance of taking two cars? That way when you've had enough you can just claim that Maggie needs to go home.

Good luck!

Snugs99

I don't have a great relationship with my MIL and DH and I have been together for 10 years.  She is also extremely passive aggressive and has said several threatening things since DS was born (not physically just stupid things).  I can count on 2 hands how many times she has seen DS since he has been born and they live 15 minutes away!  She sees her other grandchildren probably once a week.  I have stopped caring because she is not worth the energy and I'd rather not be around her.  So yes I think you are totally justified in not wanting to go.