Parenting after a Loss

My Wimpy Version of Ferber, Night One

Well, I think Leo must understand a lot more than he seems to.

After hearing daddy and mommy talking about his impending night of doom, he had a bit of a tough time going down. We decided we'd help him get to sleep and then start our plan, so we had to go in and soothe him a few times. Once he finally got down though, he slept from 8-12 without waking ONCE or fussing at all- not normal!

At his midnight feeding (which we are fine with since we go to bed late), he fell asleep after 1/2 the bottle. Then the fun began.

2:30 am- I wake up to loud fussing. I wait until it escalates to a full-on cry (about 10 minutes) and wake up DH. He goes in, just lightly puts a hand on Leo and shushes him. Of course this just makes Leo cry louder, but he leaves the room as planned. 

He then calms down on his own after about 1 more minutes of hysterics. Then he fusses for another 20 minutes until the cries get nasty again. All the while, I'm watching him on the video monitor and he is totally trying to soothe himself- cuddling his lovey, tossing and turning.

At one point he manages to turn himself around entirely and get up against the side of the crib. Luckily, that's when the cries also get bad, so I am able to stick to the "plan" and still save him! I go in and quickly shift him back into position and tell him i love him and leave.

Again, the cries get really bad when he sees me, but then he calms down in under 5 minutes. I planned to go in in increments - 5, 7, 10 etc, but he'd always calm down and I never had to really wait past 5- he'd calm down on his own.

I went in one more time at 3:45 when it got really hysterical, but right as I left the room, he turned on his side, sighed, and WENT TO SLEEP!!!!

He woke up at 7:15 as usual, happy as a clam.

Night One = Success! Of course I exhausted him yesterday, so it may have been a fluke- I am still expecting some drama tonight. But at least I know he can handle it - and more importantly, that I can handle it.

Thanks for all the support, girls!

Re: My Wimpy Version of Ferber, Night One

  • Ohhh, Suzie, I got teary when you mentioned watching him on the video monitor while he tried so hard to soothe himself.  That always breaks my heart when I watch Lilly trying SO hard-- sometimes I swear she even squeezes her eyes shut, hoping they'll stick! 

    And I can just picture him sighing, as if to say "I surrender.  Night, mom."

    All 3 of you deserve a high five and a big hug!

  • YAY Leo!  Good job Momma : )  Stick to it - it may take more than 3 nights (like 2 weeks for us!) to master, but totally worth it. 
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  • stick to your guns--sttn is heaven!
  • Sounds like a good start... I can't bring myself to get a video monitor.  Sean does the same thing, but he gets himself so worked up, but I KNOW he is tossing and turning trying to get himself. But he seems only happy once I go in and feed him or at least pick him up.

     

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    m/c August 2007 - Blighted Ovum
    Sean - Our IUI/Injectable miracle born Oct. 5, 2008.
    Liam - Our second miracle born July 16, 2010
  • Yay for Leo!  And you!  The first couple nights are the hardest. 
  • I am glad it was a success!! Hopefully tonight will go well too!
  • good for you!! Hope tonight is even better!
  • You all survived! 

    How much does Leo weigh now?  Do you think he still needs the midnight feeding?  I started weaning between 5 and 6 months, and now K goes all night without food.  

    I bet tonight is MUCH easier.  The second night is usually vastly different from the first.

  • Good job! I am sure it is so hard...hang in there.
  • Oh Suz, that sounds really good!  Good for you for hanging in there and making it through.  You really followed it to a T!  No wimpiness there at all!

    I'll be thinking of you tonight :)

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