Parenting

I hate when people say this!

Or something like it.  I overheard a guy in my office say to another guy:

"I have this black client, he's a real nice guy..."

I hear this every now and then and it just bugs me.  Like they have to quantify having a black friend or client by saying they are nice?  Like that's the only reason you would have a black client or friend?  It just bugs the crap out of me.  And why do you even have to say you have a black client or friend?  I mean, I would never say to someone, "My brother's girlfriend, who is black and a real nice girl...."  Seriously.

 

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Re: I hate when people say this!

  • Yeah, what significance does it add to the story to mention if the person is black or not?
  • I don't know, I guess you heard the tone in which it was said so you can judge, but honestly, it IS a distinguishing feature!  If I am describing a person to someone who doesn't know them, I would ABSOLUTELY say something like, "She's the redhead," or "she is the one with the blue eyes," or even, "he's got the big birthmark on his cheek,".

    But somehow it's not okay to have skin color be a distinguishing feature.  I have been in situations where someone is talking about LITERALLY the only black kid in a class, and rather than say, "Oh, James?  He's the little black child over there," so that I INSTANTLY know who he is, I'll get, "Oh, James?  He's that little guy over there in the blue shirt.  No, no, no THAT blue shirt . . . okay, look to your left?  See the girl in the purple . . . (etc.)"  That's just silliness, IMO!

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  • Yeah, it is a real big pet peeve of mine as well. why do they have to throw "black" in there? Can't they just say "this guy came in..."
  •  don't know, I guess you heard the tone in which it was said so you can judge, but honestly, it IS a distinguishing feature!  If I am describing a person to someone who doesn't know them, I would ABSOLUTELY say something like, "She's the redhead," or "she is the one with the blue eyes," or even, "he's got the big birthmark on his cheek,".

    But somehow it's not okay to have skin color be a distinguishing feature.  I have been in situations where someone is talking about LITERALLY the only black kid in a class, and rather than say, "Oh, James?  He's the little black child over there," so that I INSTANTLY know who he is, I'll get, "Oh, James?  He's that little guy over there in the blue shirt.  No, no, no THAT blue shirt . . . okay, look to your left?  See the girl in the purple . . . (etc.)"  That's just silliness, IMO!

    This is an interesting point..though I think the OP was talking more about the adding the "real nice guy" to the statement versus just saying he's black. But in many contexts I could be the "white girl". And I could see someone saying "she's over there the white girl with the dark hair"..or something like that. Our area is so racially diverse that I'm not sure it doesn't happen to some extent to everyone around here. 

  • imageMrs.LB705:

    I don't know, I guess you heard the tone in which it was said so you can judge, but honestly, it IS a distinguishing feature!  If I am describing a person to someone who doesn't know them, I would ABSOLUTELY say something like, "She's the redhead," or "she is the one with the blue eyes," or even, "he's got the big birthmark on his cheek,".

    But somehow it's not okay to have skin color be a distinguishing feature.  I have been in situations where someone is talking about LITERALLY the only black kid in a class, and rather than say, "Oh, James?  He's the little black child over there," so that I INSTANTLY know who he is, I'll get, "Oh, James?  He's that little guy over there in the blue shirt.  No, no, no THAT blue shirt . . . okay, look to your left?  See the girl in the purple . . . (etc.)"  That's just silliness, IMO!

    This doesn't really bother me.  It's when it has no relevance to the story and they throw in "he's a real nice guy" that just irritates me.

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  • imagestacynikki:
    imageMrs.LB705:

    I don't know, I guess you heard the tone in which it was said so you can judge, but honestly, it IS a distinguishing feature!  If I am describing a person to someone who doesn't know them, I would ABSOLUTELY say something like, "She's the redhead," or "she is the one with the blue eyes," or even, "he's got the big birthmark on his cheek,".

    But somehow it's not okay to have skin color be a distinguishing feature.  I have been in situations where someone is talking about LITERALLY the only black kid in a class, and rather than say, "Oh, James?  He's the little black child over there," so that I INSTANTLY know who he is, I'll get, "Oh, James?  He's that little guy over there in the blue shirt.  No, no, no THAT blue shirt . . . okay, look to your left?  See the girl in the purple . . . (etc.)"  That's just silliness, IMO!

    This doesn't really bother me.  It's when it has no relevance to the story and they throw in "he's a real nice guy" that just irritates me.

    I agree - when it's used as a description to point someone out, it's fine, but if you're just telling a story and the person isn't physically present, and it has no relevence to the topic, then it is a little bothersome to me, too.

  • When we first moved our neighbor said "there are a few black families, but they are all professionals". Um..WTF does that mean? That they aren't drug dealers or something? LOL I mean it's a nice neighborhood; I would assume all or most of the residents are "professionals".
    imageimageimage
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