Speaking of CIO...

sdkrlm

So our day care is PRETTY good about doing what the 'mom's' want. 

today I went back to Avery's first class to visit the teachers and babies and there was a baby in her crib  completely crying and snotting and red faced.  I was really surprised because most of the time, they NEVER let a baby cry that hard.

I asked about it and the teachers said "that's what the mom asked us to do! we hate it!"

I ended up patting the girl on the back and giving her paci back to her and calmed her down.  

I just felt SOOOO bad for the little girl having to cry herself to sleep when really she just needs a ::TINY:: bit of soothing help.  The teachers said they absolutely hate letting her cry like that but the mom has specifically requested (it was even written on her chart!) that they let her just CIO.

(the baby was less than 5 months old)

dr.girlfriend

Honestly, I think you should have stayed out of it.  It may seem harsh, but 30 minutes of crying over three days can help a baby get sound sleep forever, and you may have set her back days by pacifying her.  It's not your philosophy, but it's not your kid either.  I would be really upset if I had decided on CIO and another parent stepped in, just as I would if another parent said, "This kid looks hungry, let me give him some formula" after I've worked so hard to EBF.

Crazycrustacean

dr.girlfriend:

Honestly, I think you should have stayed out of it.? It may seem harsh, but 30 minutes of crying over three days can help a baby get sound sleep forever, and you may have set her back days by pacifying her.? It's not your philosophy, but it's not your kid either.? I would be really upset if I had decided on CIO and another parent stepped in, just as I would if another parent said, "This kid looks hungry, let me give him some formula" after I've worked so hard to EBF.

While I understand where you're coming from, I believe that while the parents want to try CIO, it has to work for all parties involved. And unfortunately for those parents, the daycare is involved. And if CIO doesn't work for the daycare, then they shouldn't have to abide by it.?SD & Avery are also involved parties since they are part of the daycare.?

I personally think it's a shame to allow a child to cry without any kind of ?soothing (back pat, paci, back rub, etc), but that's my personal opinion. For all those people or parents know, that poor baby was simply terrified & needed to know someone was there. Or had a major poopy diaper and was really irritated. ??

sdkrlm

I know I know... it was just so hard to see her crying like that. 

Mrs.Mclstar48

Crazycrustacean:

dr.girlfriend:

Honestly, I think you should have stayed out of it.  It may seem harsh, but 30 minutes of crying over three days can help a baby get sound sleep forever, and you may have set her back days by pacifying her.  It's not your philosophy, but it's not your kid either.  I would be really upset if I had decided on CIO and another parent stepped in, just as I would if another parent said, "This kid looks hungry, let me give him some formula" after I've worked so hard to EBF.

While I understand where you're coming from, I believe that while the parents want to try CIO, it has to work for all parties involved. And unfortunately for those parents, the daycare is involved. And if CIO doesn't work for the daycare, then they shouldn't have to abide by it. SD & Avery are also involved parties since they are part of the daycare. 

I personally think it's a shame to allow a child to cry without any kind of  soothing (back pat, paci, back rub, etc), but that's my personal opinion. For all those people or parents know, that poor baby was simply terrified & needed to know someone was there. Or had a major poopy diaper and was really irritated.   

I agree with Crazy!! =/ Sleep training in their own crib at night without people walking around and ignoring that poor baby is a lot different. That baby was in a room full of people she can plainly see and watched all of them ignore her. thats really sad. If a parent wants to sleep train their LO and their LO goes to daycare, they should take a week off of work and get that baby trained before returning to daycare rather than allowing that baby to cry like that there. That doesnt seem like sleep training to me at all. Just my opinion though.

valkaz

dr.girlfriend:

Honestly, I think you should have stayed out of it.  It may seem harsh, but 30 minutes of crying over three days can help a baby get sound sleep forever, and you may have set her back days by pacifying her.  It's not your philosophy, but it's not your kid either.  I would be really upset if I had decided on CIO and another parent stepped in, just as I would if another parent said, "This kid looks hungry, let me give him some formula" after I've worked so hard to EBF.

Unfortunately, I have to agree.  If another parent undermined my decision as a parent, I would be pretty upset.

Trust me, I understand. I'd want to do the exact same thing.

1stMate

I agree with Dr. G.  Just throwing in my two cents!

NoVaIrish

Mrs.Mclstar48:

Crazycrustacean:

dr.girlfriend:

Honestly, I think you should have stayed out of it.  It may seem harsh, but 30 minutes of crying over three days can help a baby get sound sleep forever, and you may have set her back days by pacifying her.  It's not your philosophy, but it's not your kid either.  I would be really upset if I had decided on CIO and another parent stepped in, just as I would if another parent said, "This kid looks hungry, let me give him some formula" after I've worked so hard to EBF.

While I understand where you're coming from, I believe that while the parents want to try CIO, it has to work for all parties involved. And unfortunately for those parents, the daycare is involved. And if CIO doesn't work for the daycare, then they shouldn't have to abide by it. SD & Avery are also involved parties since they are part of the daycare. 

I personally think it's a shame to allow a child to cry without any kind of  soothing (back pat, paci, back rub, etc), but that's my personal opinion. For all those people or parents know, that poor baby was simply terrified & needed to know someone was there. Or had a major poopy diaper and was really irritated.   

I agree with Crazy!! =/ Sleep training in their own crib at night without people walking around and ignoring that poor baby is a lot different. That baby was in a room full of people she can plainly see and watched all of them ignore her. thats really sad. If a parent wants to sleep train their LO and their LO goes to daycare, they should take a week off of work and get that baby trained before returning to daycare rather than allowing that baby to cry like that there. That doesnt seem like sleep training to me at all. Just my opinion though.

It's a really hard situation because like Crazy said, daycare is involved.  But I spend a lot of money on daycare and expect that they follow my wishes and yes it sucks, that other kids/parents are impacted but that's just the way it goes at daycare.  I totally understand that it doesn't work for everyone, but that is the reason why a lot of people I know have made the decision to be a SAHM. 

And yes, in a perfect world the parents should keep the child home but we all know the world we live in is far from perfect.  That kids parents may not have PTO, or have any PTO left over after maternity leave.  Maybe there is another extenuating circumstance that we can't even begin to imagine that prohibits the parents keeping the child home. 

**SD - I *know* you well enough to know that you were coming from a good place here so I hope you don't feel like we are bashing you at all.  I would probably want to do the same thing.**

MissyOlivePants

Mrs.Mclstar48:

Sleep training in their own crib at night without people walking around and ignoring that poor baby is a lot different. That baby was in a room full of people she can plainly see and watched all of them ignore her. thats really sad. If a parent wants to sleep train their LO and their LO goes to daycare, they should take a week off of work and get that baby trained before returning to daycare rather than allowing that baby to cry like that there. That doesnt seem like sleep training to me at all. Just my opinion though.

I agree 100%. While I don't agree with CIO (though DD has cried for a period of time if I'm showering or whatever), the CIO can be disruptive to the other children that are in he room. While I understand that all caregivers should be on board, it seems like this is a bit of extreme. Babies need to be loved, comforted and soothed.

Mrs.Mclstar48

NoVaIrish:

Mrs.Mclstar48:

Crazycrustacean:

dr.girlfriend:

Honestly, I think you should have stayed out of it.  It may seem harsh, but 30 minutes of crying over three days can help a baby get sound sleep forever, and you may have set her back days by pacifying her.  It's not your philosophy, but it's not your kid either.  I would be really upset if I had decided on CIO and another parent stepped in, just as I would if another parent said, "This kid looks hungry, let me give him some formula" after I've worked so hard to EBF.

While I understand where you're coming from, I believe that while the parents want to try CIO, it has to work for all parties involved. And unfortunately for those parents, the daycare is involved. And if CIO doesn't work for the daycare, then they shouldn't have to abide by it. SD & Avery are also involved parties since they are part of the daycare. 

I personally think it's a shame to allow a child to cry without any kind of  soothing (back pat, paci, back rub, etc), but that's my personal opinion. For all those people or parents know, that poor baby was simply terrified & needed to know someone was there. Or had a major poopy diaper and was really irritated.   

I agree with Crazy!! =/ Sleep training in their own crib at night without people walking around and ignoring that poor baby is a lot different. That baby was in a room full of people she can plainly see and watched all of them ignore her. thats really sad. If a parent wants to sleep train their LO and their LO goes to daycare, they should take a week off of work and get that baby trained before returning to daycare rather than allowing that baby to cry like that there. That doesnt seem like sleep training to me at all. Just my opinion though.

It's a really hard situation because like Crazy said, daycare is involved.  But I spend a lot of money on daycare and expect that they follow my wishes and yes it sucks, that other kids/parents are impacted but that's just the way it goes at daycare.  I totally understand that it doesn't work for everyone, but that is the reason why a lot of people I know have made the decision to be a SAHM. 

And yes, in a perfect world the parents should keep the child home but we all know the world we live in is far from perfect.  That kids parents may not have PTO, or have any PTO left over after maternity leave.  Maybe there is another extenuating circumstance that we can't even begin to imagine that prohibits the parents keeping the child home. 

**SD - I *know* you well enough to know that you were coming from a good place here so I hope you don't feel like we are bashing you at all.  I would probably want to do the same thing.**

I guess it's the controlling side of me coming out when I say to take a week off of work. I wouldnt want anyone to undermine my decisions so I'd rather take the time off, do it myself and bring my LO back ready & trained so I wont have to worry about someone else "training" my kid differently than I would or messing it up by intervening.

I am sure in this baby's situation there may be other factors we dont know about surrounding it but the way its described by SD is sounds completely aweful. I am not anti-CIO either.

bride2003

dr.girlfriend:

Honestly, I think you should have stayed out of it.  It may seem harsh, but 30 minutes of crying over three days can help a baby get sound sleep forever, and you may have set her back days by pacifying her.  It's not your philosophy, but it's not your kid either.  I would be really upset if I had decided on CIO and another parent stepped in, just as I would if another parent said, "This kid looks hungry, let me give him some formula" after I've worked so hard to EBF.

JMO but I don't think that's correct - very rare that a child gets sound sleep forever on 30 mins of CIO after 3 days.  Even those that CIO have kids that regress and they have to do it again and I doubt it rarely ever just takes 30 mins for 3 days.   And frankly all that crying disrupts the other kids in the class so if my child was there I wouldn't want a parent dropping their kid off saying "don't soothe my kid, let her cry", b/c then mine would never sleep !  Its different when kids cry at daycare and the workers make efforts to soothe them vs. one crying with no attempt at all.  For how long?  An hour?  Plus its stressful for the d/c workers too. 

SpartanGirl

bride2003:

dr.girlfriend:

Honestly, I think you should have stayed out of it.  It may seem harsh, but 30 minutes of crying over three days can help a baby get sound sleep forever, and you may have set her back days by pacifying her.  It's not your philosophy, but it's not your kid either.  I would be really upset if I had decided on CIO and another parent stepped in, just as I would if another parent said, "This kid looks hungry, let me give him some formula" after I've worked so hard to EBF.

JMO but I don't think that's correct - very rare that a child gets sound sleep forever on 30 mins of CIO after 3 days.  Even those that CIO have kids that regress and they have to do it again and I doubt it rarely ever just takes 30 mins for 3 days.   And frankly all that crying disrupts the other kids in the class so if my child was there I wouldn't want a parent dropping their kid off saying "don't soothe my kid, let her cry", b/c then mine would never sleep !  Its different when kids cry at daycare and the workers make efforts to soothe them vs. one crying with no attempt at all.  For how long?  An hour?  Plus its stressful for the d/c workers too. 

I have to agree with Dr. G here.  We did CIO with DD when she was 9 months old (though our pedi approves it as early as 4-6 months).  The first night was 80 minutes of crying.  Night 2 was 20 minutes.  We have NEVER had an issue since.  I know that some kids regress if they're sick or in a new place, but DD never has and she's nearly 3 1/2.  I really, really believe she is the amazing sleeper she is because of CIO. 

Plus, I'm sure we don't know the whole story here.  We did CIO at bedtime first and it we never needed it to carry over to naptime.  Maybe this child is a bear and completely out of control without her afternoon naps.  Maybe the parents have literally tried everything else and nothing has worked.  Maybe not, but it's easy to say "I wouldn't do that" when you don't know the whole situation.

Again, just my two cents - I'm not trying to attack anyone.  CIO worked wonders for my DD, but didn't work for DS.  Different kids need different techniques, and I would never pass judgement on another parent for doing what they think is best.