*raya*

MayBride2B2007

i just read your post from this morning and wanted to let you know that i totally get how you feel.  i am both a SAHM and a WAHM.  it is incredibly hard work and mr. soup is gone 12 hours a day monday-friday.  he literally has about an hour with hadley when he gets home, and that includes time for us to eat dinner and get her settled for bed.  it just so happens, that it is also her fussiest time of day, which he is NOT good with at all.  most nights, despite it being "his" job, i end up settling her to sleep because she will typically just scream for him.

he has NO idea how hard my job is as a SAHM, let alone, adding onto that the fact that i work 30 hours a week while caring for her.  like you, i have ZERO help, no family in the state even.  i would be really unhappy if he made committments out of the house more than once a week.  i NEVER get that kind of time away for just myself.  the longest i've had was an hour when i ran to get a haircut (i didn't even have them wash or dry it because i knew he'd be stressed if i was gone that long).  it is incredibly hard and as much as i LOVE my "jobs," it doesn't mean i don't need or deserve a break too.

and, i disagree about the idea that him working is the same as you working by caring for mason.  he gets to interact with adults all day long, and doesn't have a baby dependent on him for everything all day long.  life is very different than when i was working in an office.  yes, in many ways it is SO much better, but in some ways, it is not. 

my point is, i understand where you are coming from and don't think you are being unreasonable.  i do think there may be a compromise to be found, but i can't say that i've found one yet that really works.  i hope that you do.

raya

Thanks, May. We talked about it tonight and I think he is getting it a little more, and he is going to take Mason next weekend for a full day/night so he can see what it's really like. I don't think anyone knows what anything is really like until they try it - I always thought being a WAHM would be the perfect compromise. Now that Mason is here, I have no idea how you do it! I can't focus on peeing for ten seconds let alone trying to actually use my brain to get work done! I hope you and Mr. Soup find a compromise that works for you. I'm really thinking about talking to some of my other SAHM friends to see if they want to do a swap - maybe we can take each other's kids for an hour or two once a week, just for a little break! Now I understand why my mom gave me so much shiit when I moved away...I guess there is actually some truth behind the Jewish mother's ominous warning of how women who leave their mother's live to regret it I digress, but thank you for your support - I was really feeling like a major biotch.