"It'll happen"

Cookiecrisp

Hate when people say that.

Becky262

"Just relax"

Always wanted to punch the people who told me that

Bubbalini

After my m/c, I heard from a lot of people "at least you know how to do it".  Really?

Thusadeedoo

"Give it time" is my personal favorite.

LMS05

I think people just don't know what to say. My parents tried for 3 1/2 years before they got pregnant with me. My mom said every time a friend of hers got pregnant by "accident" she wanted to punch them.?I'm sorry

iteachk

That's why we never told anyone when we were TTC.

N&G 5_26_07

Me too. I know your referring to a different situation than I am  - but I hate it just the same.

Alex17

ITeachK:

That's why we never told anyone when we were TTC.

Ditto. Except when I went to the doctor at 6 months of trying (for my regular pap) I explained we had been trying, etc, etc.

She gave the "It'll happen" speech basically.  You can get it anywhere!

Cookiecrisp

Yeah, I can appreciate how uncomfortable the last weeks of labor can be, but the difference is- it WILL happen for you, like it or not at this point. ?Whereas...I really don't know if it'll 'happen' for us. ?I'm sure you're hearing all kinds of annoying comments though... ?

Cookiecrisp

Yikes, I've definitely been guilty of saying to a friend "it's good to know your body can get pregnant", I thought I was being positive, but just knowing this is annoying- well, I will never say anything like that again!

N&G 5_26_07

Oh - you are right! I have no place to complain at all. I'm sorry. I did not mean to compare the situations.

Open mouth insert foot.

I really am sorry. 

Bubbalini

Cookiecrisp:

Yeah, I can appreciate how uncomfortable the last weeks of labor can be, but the difference is- it WILL happen for you, like it or not at this point.  Whereas...I really don't know if it'll 'happen' for us.  I'm sure you're hearing all kinds of annoying comments though...

I don't really know you, but I can hear (read) how upset you are.  I am so sorry for whatever it is that you are going through and I do hope it happens for you as well.  ::hugs::

BadaBing327

Bubbalini:

After my m/c, I heard from a lot of people "at least you know how to do it".  Really?

I hated "at least you know you can get pregnant."

Advice about TTC makes me want to throat punch people.

Bubbalini

BadaBing327:

Bubbalini:

After my m/c, I heard from a lot of people "at least you know how to do it".  Really?

I hated "at least you know you can get pregnant."

Advice about TTC makes me want to throat punch people.

Yeah, I got that one a lot too.  The other "favorite" of mine was "now you get to keep practicing". 

Abc15379

I never really listen to what comes after, cause I am stuck as soon as someone says "So, are you pregnant yet?"

iteachk

kdodge423:

N&G 5_26_07:

Me too. I know your referring to a different situation than I am  - but I hate it just the same.

For the love of God, you'd better not be comparing waiting to go into labor the same as struggling to conceive.

Give her a break, k.  She's hugely pregnant & miserable.  She didn't mean anything by it.

BadaBing327

kdodge423:

BadaBing327:

Advice about TTC makes me want to throat punch people.

This. Especially when it is all coming from people with unplanned pregnancies.

Ahhhhhh I loved advice from the "I don't know how I got pregnant because we were using birth control" crowd.

::throat punch::

Cookiecrisp

Thanks for those nice words. ?It's only been a year of trying, but today my friend's baby was born and I'm so happy for her, but this is the second baby born to a couple who started trying after us. ?I can't wait to see them and am so happy for them but it does make me more aware of the time that has gone by.

Cookiecrisp

Oh, don't worry about it. I'm really not offended. ?Hope your healthy baby gets here soon!?

bellafirenze

Bubbalini:

 The other "favorite" of mine was "now you get to keep practicing". 

I hate that one too, but I've got a one up for it! I have a part time "save for baby" job as we call it at BRU on nights and weekends- and I made the mistake a few months back of talking about TTC with a guest who was also trying, but there shopping for a friend. Anyway this one really obnoxious younger girl who works there overheard and is totally nosy about it. Last month she asked if we were "pregnant yet" and when I said no, she made a face and literally said in shock "Wow! You must be getting really sick of trying." Um... no? Perhaps you don't know how babies are made? o.O

Temp984666312503071

There is really no right thing to say.

After my first miscarriage I got the "at least you know you can get pregnant" line....  And then after over a year of trying after my m/c I was diagnosed with unexplained infertility.  So - no.  You don't "know" it can happen after a miscarriage.  There are no guarantees in life unfortunately .

I had a black tie dinner last night and sat next to a friend who is struggling TTC.  She is okay around me since she knows my history (TTC 2 years, IVF with ICSI to concieve) but two other women at our table were also pregnant.  My heart hurt for her.  I spent the majority of the evening deflecting pregnancy/baby conversations and trying to talk about things that would get her mind off of all of our bellies.  I felt so bad .  TTC, particularly when it isn't happening after a year, SUCKS.  I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

Heather R

I miscarried my first pregnancy.  Especially when it's your first pregnancy, no, you don't know it'll happen.  It's such a miserable, fearful uncertainty-- for me, that fear was worse than the grief.  Gag at people's bubbling optimism. Must be nice to never have had a life experience that rocks that fountain of happy hopefulness.

Wishing all the women in this thread the happy ending you all hope for.

((hugs))