Lately I've been really sensitive about my weight/body image. It doesn't help that people have said some really insensitive things too--- constantly asking me if I'm eating healthy and still working out "because you don't want to get TOO big you know"... (Yes, I know). I'm 5'7" and prepregnancy weighed around 150 lbs. Not skinny but not overweight, just average and always trying to lose that last 10 lbs....
To make matters worse, one of the doctors at my OB (we see a different one each time in the group) was saying that I should slow down the weight gain and exercise more (I've gained 14 lbs so far and I'm 16 weeks now). I have never had a doctor express any kind of concern about my weight before. I just wanted to cry because for the first time in my life I don't want to obsess over what I'm eating (I try to eat healthy sometimes but other times I eat what I want), I'm trying to stay away from artificial sweeteners, etc., and I'm EXHAUSTED at the end of each day and still don't have my energy back so working out just seems unfathomable to me at this point. I used to go indoor rock climbing 2-3 times a week but obviously had to stop doing that when I found out I was pregnant. I haven't been working out because I've been so tired.
A few weeks ago I was enjoying my body and finally not feeling so self-conscious because I have a reason to be bigger for at least a few months, but now I just feel terrible about myself and my body and embarrassed that I'm getting bigger (not to mention my skin looks terrible).
DH has been really great and supportive and tells me all the time that he thinks I look great and beautiful but I still feel bad about myself. I know I shouldn't let other people's comments get to me and I was really trying not to but the doctor really got to me and now I just feel like I should be watching everything I eat and pushing myself to workout. But even just standing and walking around for a couple of hours yesterday running errands exhausted me. I'm just struggling to figure out what I should do because my body is saying one thing but I'm feeling a lot of outside pressure about my weight gain and I hate it.
Is anyone else dealing with this or feeling this way?
Re: I feel horrible... vent... (kind of long)
I was your size pre-pregnancy too. ?I will say that from 12 weeks-20 weeks I felt the worst about myself and my size. ?You are in that in-between stage where you just feel fat, not pregnant. ?I also hit a lull and didn't want to work out. ?For me, it has gotten better the past few weeks. ?I've been going to the gym more, and don't feel like eating crappy junk food all the time. ?
Take what people say with a grain of salt. ?I'm currently bracing myself for my dad to make a "fat" comment when he visits tonight. ?I think people think using that word is somehow ok if you are pregnant.
I've had plenty of friends tell me that they gained a lot more weight than they wanted to, but managed to lose it all after the baby. ?Many are smaller now than before they got pregnant.
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You and I were just about the same size pre-pregnancy. I've gained about 9.5 pounds and I've had people tell me that I'm "showing awfully early" and suggesting that "maybe it's twins" (yeah, I think they would have picked that up in the three ultrasounds I've had . . .
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I have discovered that I really do feel better if I exercise. I'm not talking about exercising at my pre-pregnancy level, which would not be a good idea for me. I'm talking a 20-30 minute walk. Is there any way you can walk on your lunch break? After trying many times to motivate myself to get on the treadmill in the evening after work, I realized that walking on my lunch break is the only way I'm going to get a workout in during the week. I've committed myself to walking at least three times a week. That's do-able.
I'm sorry you're upset! I'm sure you look GREAT. So you've gained what, a few too many pounds? Six or seven? My CAT weighs more than that. Please don't beat yourself up!
I completely understand how you're feeling. I was VERY overweight for the majority of my life. About 2 years ago I lost 105 lbs and kept about 85 lbs of it off for the last year and a half. I was wearing a size 10/12 and felt great about myself.
As of my last appt I had gained 17 lbs. I know it is for a good reason, but it's still heartbreaking watching that number go back up. I look at some of my old clothes and feel really badly about myself. When I see myself in the mirror and think I look HUGE. I've started counting my calories again and only drinking water instead of juice/soda. I just can't let go. I get no enjoyment about "eating whatever I want".
My dr. has not said anything at all about my weight, so I know this is all coming from internally. My DH tells me all the time how he still finds me attractive and that I'm too hard on myself. I just find myself obsessing about how I will lose the weight. Wow, that got long winded. I just wanted you to know I understand what you are feeling.
I wouldn't mind walking a few times a week but it is getting REALLY hot here in Florida... it feels like June here already. And I suspended my gym membership because I'm not going to pay $50/month just to use the treadmill or elliptical machine. The first doctor in my OB group that I saw told me not to climb anymore or to lift anything heavy so I don't want to do any weights or anything (which I used to do at the gym).
I could get on the Wii fit I suppose... is anyone using that?
The good news is that I think you will get more energy in the next few weeks. I was SO sick weeks 6-12, then dizzy and exhausted weeks 12-18 and now I am really back on my yoga and health food and feel SO much better.?
I do think there is a misconception (in movies, media) that when you are PG, you get to let go and eat ice cream and fast food every day (it is even encouraged quite a bit on these boards), but it is really just the opposite. You have to be even better than before about food choices and exercise.
I agree with PP about the awkward stage, just stick with it and know that your OB is just trying to help you avoid complications.?
I am here and there. I am still in that awful "is she pg or is she fat" stage. I think I will feel better when I have a pronounced belly.
My main issue is guilt over not being where I wanted to be with my weight pre-pg. Could that be part of it for you?
One: Quite frankly your doctor kind of sounds like an ass, and if I were you I would try to see every other doctor in the group before going back to him. I am also in a group practice, which I love, but I have received some mixed messages about weight. I have seen all the doctors now and am only going back to the ones whom I really liked. I am not suggesting that you should pick and choose on medical advice, but if there is a doctor you feel more comfortable why add unneccessary stress?
Two: I totally understand your feelings about body image, and feeling like this should be one time in your life you don't have to worry about body image. Let me just say, there is a reason why I haven't posted a bump picture! But please know that the best thing you can do for your self and your baby is take a deep breath, tell yourself that you are doing the best you can, listen to your body as to how much rest you need and make smart choices. Also, once in a while, have a freakin' cookie. Not the whole bo, but one or two. Every woman needs a cookie once in a while. You are hardly on track to gain a hundred pounds or anything! A pound a week sounds totally normal, and you aren't even there yet.
I think that I could have written this. You are not alone at all. I felt the same way, but as I have started to look more like I'm having a baby and not just getting chuncky I have felt a little better on some days at least.
It also helped me to get some clothes that fit better. I just went to Marshals and got some regular clothes that have some room to grow to get me through the stage where my clothes are to small and mat clothes seem to big.
I know its hot down here (I live in FL too) but I try to do the wii fit and have a prenatal workout dvd that I try to do a few times a week (not that it always happens). My DH and I try to go on walks after dinner when it isn't so hot out or we will go and walk around a mall.
I'm still gaining weight faster then I would like but as long as baby is healthy thats all that really matters. I see a group of obs and I can tell you that there is one that I am going to avoid making appts with from now on just because I don't like the way that he talked to me about it when I asked about my weight (and for the rest of the appt for that matter).
That's such a crummy feeling. I agree with other posters that part of it is that you're in that icky awkward spot - gaining weight as you should be, but not obviously pregnant yet.
It sounds like you're doing well with making healthy eating choices. I try to just exercise when I do have the energy - just taking walks around the neighborhood. Hopefully your energy level will pick up a bit soon (I think mine started to come back a bit around 16/17 wks). And before too long you'll have the cute pregnancy belly and won't feel so self-conscious about weight. GL!
I hear you.
?I was actually borderline underweight before my BFP, and have had to work really hard to actually gain weight an acceptable level while pregnant. ?And yet, with all of that, I sometimes feel gross, too. ?It didn't help the other day when my father called me on the phone and said, "When are you coming to visit again? ?I can't wait to see you fat!"
?I felt terrible for most of that day because of that. ?I could have killed my dad. ?(grrr)