I think I'm going to Haiti in June

candm

I talked with both the child update specialist and the file update specialist from our O last night. I won't go into details on what I found out, b/c I"m too tired and worn down to write it all out right now, but I think I am going to Haiti in June to visit with our kids. The child update specialist really thinks it will help our son's health. She told us she thinks he is getting down b/c we haven't been back to visit since Oct. 2007. Made me feel like a horrible mother (not the update specialists intent, just how I felt). DH and I both thought we were doing them more harm than good by visiting, getting bonded and then having to leave them behind. That's why we decided no more trips until we brought them home. But now I feel it's important for our kids to still know we are waiting for them (though they do get care packages, it's not the same as seeing us). In an ideal world, both DH and I would go, but we're not sure we can afford for me to go let alone him so it might just be me. I'm also struggling with whether to take Rowan (she's not weaned yet) or hurry up and wean her and go without her (I've never spent a night away from her and was not planning on weaning before 2 years).

Decisions to make. I'm my stomach is tied in knots today.

pinkwedding05

Wow those are some big decisions to make.  I'm sure you'll choose what is best for your family.  Please don't feel badly, your babes know how much you love them and want them here with you. 

CaptainSerious

I'm happy you'll be able to spend some time with them, but concerned that this is an indication that you don't expect them to come home anytime soon.  You are in such a tough situation, and I really wish there were a way to make things easier for you.

EmmieB

fredalina:

i hope you get to go.  i'm sure you'll do the right things for them.  And you're NOT a horrible mom.  You're just dealing with a horrible beaurocrazy.

QFT.

 

1st: Yay! You'll get to see your babies!

2nd: if it's possible, I think I would take Rowan so that they can meet their little sister. I understand leaving her at home, too. 

3rd: do you think that being there in person could help speed the process along? 

Good luck! We're all pulling for you.

MayDayGirl

wow big decisions.  But I'm glad you have a plan.

 

I would bring her, but even if you don't you don't have to wean, you could just pump while you're gone?

Good luck!

Dragonfly_Bride

Candm, I think about your kids all the time, and have been following your story for at least the past year, if not longer. I think it's great that you'll get to go see them. Good luck with all your?different?dilemmas - I know you'll find the right answers!

pepomntpat

I wish you all the best with your decisions.  So sorry this is taking so long. {{hugs}}

Capricornbaby80

I am sorry that this is taking so long. I hope that your visit helps to make your son feel alot better. In the end you will make the best decision for everyone involved.. Good luck to you

candm

Thanks everyone for your good thoughts.

EmmieB:

3rd: do you think that being there in person could help speed the process along? 

No, unfortunately, I do not think it will have any impact on speeding up the process. 

MayDayGirl:

I would bring her, but even if you don't you don't have to wean, you could just pump while you're gone?

Yes, I would definitely still pump, I guess I"m just afraid Rowan will wean herself after a week without me. Heck, I might even offer my services as a wet nurse to the O.

I'm also worried about C&D thinking I am playing favorites when we leave and Rowan comes with me and they stay behind. I'm worried about a lot of things.

 

Capricornbaby80

You didn't ask for my opinion but maybe they might just think that you are introducing them to their little sister? I pray that everything works out for you. Your kids will be glad to see you

jacksjerseygirl

Ugh I'm sorry this is so difficult. Are you using Gods Littlest Angels?