VENT: Why can't my MIL...
understand that the stairwell in her house that doesn't have railing and has no way to put up a gate is not safe for her granddaughter?!?!?! And why can't she understand that "just putting chairs around it" won't be good enough when her granddaughter can climb under chairs and push chairs around?!?!? (Sorry, this is going to be long.)
We're power washing our house this weekend to prep for painting this month. DH called MIL tonight and she informed him that she would pick up Eve on Saturday and bring her back to her house because Eve "needs" to spend time at grandma's house. DH tried to avoid the issue and explain that it would be better just to have Eve here. Finally he broke down and said, "well, do you have railing on your stairs yet?" She thought it was a ridiculous request!
Let me explain this stairwell. You walk into the house on the second level. The stairwell leads to two bedrooms and a bathroom downstairs. The ILs removed the banister before Eve was born because they were installing tile in the entryway and at the bottom of the stairs. They haven't put it back up yet.
She was offended that DH thought she wouldn't watch Eve closely enough. He tried to explain that she walks/runs/climbs all over now and that she can get into anything really quickly. MIL has a big dog who is ill-behaved who takes a lot of her attention because he's always getting into something. All it would take is one moment of MIL doing something with the dog for Eve to topple head-first down a flight of stairs onto a tile floor!!! OMG, it freaks me out just to think about it!!!
MIL is not vigilant and hasn't dealt with a toddler since DH was one. She doesn't understand our concern and just makes it all about her. Fortunately, DH is completely on my side, but she's driving us both nuts. I just want to avoid her at this point. Really, I don't care if I start a family fued, my baby is not going over there until that stairwell is fixed.
Ok, vent over. You get a cookie for reading this far. Thank you!
Re: VENT: Why can't my MIL...
Totally get it.
I once asked my mom if she was going to put up a baby gate with my nephew (toddler) and she replied.. no "we never put up baby gates.. thats why they call it "parenting"..
Umm real subtle mom.
Anyway.. back to *your* issue.. I agree with you.. since its your kid.. your rules. Any chance she can take Eve somewhere that is pretty kid friendly for a couple of hours? That would eliminate baby proofing and the dog issue but provide grandma with some one-on-one time.
oh man she is being a control freak !! It is not her decision to decide what is right for Eve's safety. A girl I work with coulda written this exact post, her Mil did the EXACT same thing about her stairwell.
Way to stick to your guns, I absolutely would not let her go there either.
I would just try to not get sucked into it. Just have dh say " Sorry mom, but until you baby proof your house and your stairs, you can't watch her ".
Big hugs I know how frustrating MIL's can be, believe me !!
Yay for your dh being on your side, he deserves a brownie too
Ugh- Ashley I SO get this!
My parents are the first to admit they are older and it zaps SO much of their energy to watch Alex, esp now that he runs around everywhere. He is pretty good about listening now but that stage Eve is in where they are so curious and don't have that reasoning or ability to listen yet is really panic-inducing to moms, believe me, my kiddo was/is a total daredevil. No fear. Scary.
I cannot stand when they can't see that it is truly a SAFETY issue- not a personal issue. I have story after story about my ILs but I won't bore you with them- let's just say they are not allowed to be alone with Alex any more.
I hope she starts to listen and puts up her bannister! So dangerous! Even WITH a bannister I would worry!
This is totally our situation with my MIL as well. It's so lame. It's about DC, not them.