Love & Logic — The Bump
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Love & Logic

Anyone read this book?  Someone mentioned it on the toddler board and gave some examples of how it works.  I like the examples she gave, but I could also see it being one of those methods that I don't like, like the ones where you never say no.  Any thoughts?

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Re: Love & Logic

  • I'm contemplating this.  My future SIL's sister used this on her 3 children.  I've never met said kids, but I think they're pretty good... I donno, I'm really just looking for a base strategy and then will build off of it on my own I think.  future SIL recommended it to me, but I have no first hand experience with it.  sorry, I'm sure this doesn't help much.
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  • Eh - I think it depends on the parent and how you apply it.  I haven't read the book, but I know the principle.  Basically giving 2 options that are acceptable to you and letting the child choose.  Its supposed to make them feel empowered, blah-blah-blah.

    But here's where I don't like it.  Sometimes the options should be Do what I say or get punished.  My friend does the love and logic with her kid and I think it's made him worse.  He was standing on the railing of their deck and they said "You have to get down or else you're not allowed to have cake."  Well he didn't care.  He wanted to know why they wanted him to get down.  Instead of saying, "It's dangerous and I said so." they said "Because we don't want you to get hurt."  But to a 3 year old - cause and effect isn't a strong point.  He's not hurt right now.  It doesn't hurt to stand up there.  It's pretty cool.  He didn't care about cake - and him doing that is clearly getting some attention.

    I feel like kids that are 3 and 4 are not equipped to make decisions on somethings - so yeah, it saves on the battles of getting dressed, but in the long run, I feel like it undermines the parent a bit.  I am of the opinion that you can always ask why, but you MUST obey first because it could be a safety issue.  I feel like when it comes to the important things - they'll be expecting an option too.  Get out of the street right now, or get out of the street in 5 minutes - which do you want???  I know that's not a good example, but this is how my friend applied it with her kid.  I'm sure she applied it wrong, but again - on the little battles I think it's okay:  Nuggets or PB&J for dinner - okay.   But in the bigger more important battles I think it *could* undermine the parent.  And like you said Mikey - it's never saying no, and that's just not how real life works.  None of us died from being told no.

    But maybe I'm just a tyrant.

  • Loading the player...
  • imageSpeedGlenn:

    But maybe I'm just a tyrant.

    Maybe?  Wink

  • imageECUGirl2004:

    But maybe I'm just a tyrant.

    Maybe?  Wink


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