I might lose it soon-sleep deprivation is killing me

ShanaNChris

I might have posted about how Lily never sleeps anymore a while ago, I don't remember, I am so sleep deprived....

She got really sick in the beginning of March with bronchiolitis, then an ear infection, then the flu, then a double ear infection, and finally after our third round of antibiotics we nipped the ear infections, the middle of April. Then she started to get 2 teeth in! Before all of this she slept from 8 am-8pm.

Basically she goes down at about 7:30-8:00 p.m. after a 7 oz. bottle, wakes most nights at 11:00, 2:00 and then gets up at 5:30 a.m., some nights it?s more times than that. Before bed I give an arsenal of drugs, acetimetiphan or motrin, teething tablets and orajel. She is not waking because she is hungry, I kind of think it?s a habit now and don?t know how to break it. She is in a sleep sack, but we have tried without it too. We had to get rid of her fishy aquarium bc she starts to crawl in her crib and hits her head on it. I bought a ceiling projection thing this week, but that doesn't seem to be helping. I also know that it's not her reflux bc she isn't spitting up at all anymore and we haven't taken down her meds either.

I always put her back down (she is usually standing and crying at side of the crib), tuck her back in and hold her hand or her chest until she falls asleep. By the time I get back to sleep, it starts all over again.

My DH is totally against co-sleeping, but last night I had to bring her in bed with me bc I just felt like I at least had to be lying down to take care of her, besides, he isn?t home anyways. She slept comfortably from 3:00 am-5:30 am, I was scared to roll onto her so I just laid there and watched her. I did notice that when she woke up, she actually rolled to her tummy in her sleep and started crawling while sleeping, which is what woke her up?I wonder if that?s what wakes her?

I feel like I am going insane. I don?t get any sleep anymore, what?s worse is my DH just started third shift 3 weeks ago and it?s all on me. I feel like I am not even able to function anymore, especially at work. And I am trying to get her first birthday party planned (I am a perfectionist, so that doesn?t help either, bc I have to have every detail perfect, besides she only turns 1 once!). I survive only due to coffee. I feel like such a bad mom, bc I find myself just wishing for her to sleep.

CIO doesn?t work, it just keeps me up and she never gets tired enough to lay back down.

Please help! I am so sick of hearing..?my baby never sleeps either?, I don't believe it, or getting advice from people who don?t have kids, as if we haven?t tried everything already.

I will take advice from you preemie nestie moms though!!

 

ijack

You might not want to hear this, but it sounds like she might need to CIO. I used to be totally anti-CIO, but we went through a phase right around E's first bday where she was waking up and then standing and cruising in her crib and forgot how to lay back down. I knew that she knew how to get down, she does it all the time, but being in her crib made her forget. She was teething and then she had a reaction to the MMR shot and then we had house guests so I kept getting up and nursing her back to sleep even though I knew she didn't need it. Then it got to the point where she would wake up and be pissed that I wasn't with her. It got totally out of control and she was keeping us up all night so one night after I made sure she was fed and dry I turned the monitor off and let her CIO. I think it took about 1.5 hours, but we haven't had a problem since. I know that CIO sucks, and it made me feel like a horrible mom, but nothing else was working (and I was okay with it because I knew she was old enough that she'd figured out how to manipulate me). How long did you try to let her cry for?

GL! I know that sleep deprivation sucks!

Mrs. Destructo

Have you read the Ferber book? It's called something like "solve your child's sleep problems"

I know it gets a lot of flack on these boards, but I'm guessing the people who disagree with it never read the book. I bought the book in total desperation several months ago when my boys were standing and screaming in their cribs all night. By the time I finished reading the book the boys had gotten past whatever was causing them to not sleep, so I never had to formally implement the suggestions in the book - but what the book says makes a lot of sense. It talks about how babies associate certain things with going to sleep, and when they wake up they cannot get back to sleep unless the conditions that were present when they went down the first time are still there.

It sounds like your daughter cannot get to sleep without you holding her hand or stroking her chest - so when she wakes up in the middle of the night (nighttime wakings are normal and everybody does it, even adults), she can't get back to sleep because you aren't there.

The book has tons of suggestions for getting kids to associated the "right" things with going to sleep, such as being by themselves, having a quiet room, etc - all instead of having a parent there comforting them. The suggestions in the book are actually designed to minimize crying, so it is not the extreme CIO that you hear about.

I really hope she starts sleeping soon. Sleep deprivation is SO hard

Mrs. Destructo

I just found a pretty decent article about the Ferber method - if you want to check it out a bit more

https://www.babycenter.com/0_the-ferber-method-demystified_7755.bc?page=1

ShanaNChris

Stop it! I thought manipulation didn?t come until she was like 12?

 

Seriously though, I don?t let her cry very long, and I just very well may be ready for CIO?I hope I can stomach it. I know she can sit back down too, but I don?t know if she will? She gets herself so worked up. I will be awake the whole time no doubt.

 

 I know my cats are about to move out, because they are so tired of this, so I?ve got to do something.

ijack

My advice is to do something so you don't have to hear her. Can you sleep in another part of the house or take a shower or something? I know it sucks, and I swore I would never let her CIO, but we didn't have another option. We were lucky that it took only one night, though sometimes it takes more.

RubyRed7

I'm so sorry. Ruby usually wakes up once to eat, and one other time just to torture me. Lately she's been waking twice to eat, and once or twice just to torture me. I hope it's a phase. Add to that I have battled insomnia since I was a child and you have recipe for many really bad nights of sleep. When you're up at night staring at the ceiling, just know, you're not alone.