A ? re: naming after relatives...

sunnydays99

If you are naming after a relative do you ever think that other relatives might feel "left out"?  I was thinking that if we had a boy I would like to use my brothers name as the middle name.  There's no real reason for this other than I think my brother would appreciate / like it and it's a name that would work well with a lot of other names.  DH has 2 brothers and I'm worried that they would feel weird about us naming after my brother.  I'm probably just being weird!!  Who knows, we may never even have a boy! LOL

starsmaycollide

The first family name we have considered using (for a girl) is a name on both sides of our family. I like it so much because that could make everyone feel special! lol. For a boy I thought about using DH's name as a mn, which can't really offend anyone on one side of another, because, well, it's him.

I am not sure though-we've also talked about not using any family names at all, so that we aren't concerened about what side they are from with more than one child.

LMS05

We'll I'm naming after the deceased so I don't think my other grandmas/grandpas who passed will care since they aren't alive.?

If the baby is a girl we are naming her Caroline Ruth. Caroline is Dh's great-grandma on his fathers' side and Ruth is Dh's grandma on his mother's side. If we have a son we are naming on my side. ?

sunnydays99

LMS05:

We'll I'm naming after the deceased so I don't think my other grandmas/grandpas who passed will care since they aren't alive. 

Yeah I would feel a lot more comfortable naming after a deceased person, that way it seems like there's more of a "reason" to do it.  

starsmaycollide

fredalina:

Honestly i worry more about the kids.? If i name the first child after someone, will the second child feel left out if they aren't?? Or what?if they don't like the person they're named after?? Probably overthinking it, but that's not unusual for me.

I've thought that too. Either, all our kids would have family names as middle names, or none of them would. I wouldn't ever want one to seem more 'meaningful'. I agree.?

sunnydays99

fredalina:

Honestly i worry more about the kids.  If i name the first child after someone, will the second child feel left out if they aren't?  Or what if they don't like the person they're named after?  Probably overthinking it, but that's not unusual for me.

Hmmm that's really interesting - I never thought about it from the kids perspective!

sherpa

I don't think most men would give it a second thought. ?We're using my dad's name for our son's middle name and I don't think my FIL cares at all, after all the baby will have his last name. ?

Becky262

Our picks are all from family names.  So far, no one's complained about feeling left out.

I think it's a little odd naming after someone's whose still alive though.

MoFree

If I'm lucky enough to achieve a pregnancy and give birth, we would name our child(ren) after deceased relatives, which is the Jewish custom.  I was born and raised nonpracticing Catholic but converted to Judaism, and I like the tradition of not naming after people who are still living, but to honor the relatives who have passed.

sunnydays99

Becky262:

I think it's a little odd naming after someone's whose still alive though.

Yeah I've thought this too!  LOL  I actually just realized that my brother was named after my mom's dad (who passed away while my grandma was pg with my mom).  So, I guess I'm technically naming after my deceased grandpa whom I've never met...

kristibeth

We were going to use my great grandma's middle name as our first DD's middle name, but it completely didn't work with her first name and our last name. so we're using it as a middle name for DD #2.  She was very important to me and DH wasn't ever that close with his relatives, of which are all deceased except his mother, so no one has an issue with that.  Of my relatives none had any middle names that they wanted passed on, they all didn't want them bestowed on a child

 

Of course if we ever have a boy- it's up in the air if we're going to have another kid after this one or not, we'll have issues b/c both of my grandpas would like their names passed down, and there's no way we're going to have 2 more kids, so that would be an issue...

mrs_mcQ6404

  Our rule of thumb on this topic is not to name our children after any living family members.   My son has the same name as my grandfather who passed 11 years before he was born.   However, I can caution you that the other side might feel that they have rights to have the next one be named after their side, which we are running into right now. 

SpartanGirl

fredalina:

Honestly i worry more about the kids.  If i name the first child after someone, will the second child feel left out if they aren't?  Or what if they don't like the person they're named after?  Probably overthinking it, but that's not unusual for me.

This.  Both of my brothers have family names and I don't.  I alwasy wondered why my parents couldn't just pick a family name as a mn or something to give my name more meaning.  All of our kids have middle names after family - and so far the names cover both sides of the family (Jean is both my mom's and my mil's mn, Robert is after my late (favorite) uncle and DH's dad).

Jennifer2008

My friend (who gave birth yesterday!) and her husband decided they should use family names from her side for middle names, since they are using his last name (which, in many ways, is a much bigger honor for the family than the middle name). Just food for thought...

smismar

The middle name we picked for this LO is a combo from both sides.  We're using Caron as the mn after my mother (Carol) and MIL (Sharon).

My worry is that they'll expect something similar next time around.  If it's a boy, we'd be looking at combining Rodger and Donald.  I guess we could go with Ronald, but I'm not really digging that (yeah, Dodger is out).  So, we'll probably pick another family name or my maiden name.

I figure the kid is already getting DH's family's name, so IMO my side gets "dibs" on any family names we choose for the middle.  (First name is unique and not "after" anyone - that way they get they're own ID.)

NaplesWifey

We used my Mom's name for DD's middle name and nobody seemed to be bothered by it. We plan on using a name from DH's side for our next DC's middle name.

brookelynpaisley

I had thought about the sibling issue as well. All of our middle names will be taken from the names of family members, since I'm not a fan of using the actual name, i.e. Kara instead of Karen. Since all of our children will have FI's last name (not married yet, just been lurking - I love names), we will start with honoring my side with a middle name, then swtich between the two families for subsequent kids.

Megsd721

Honestly, who care what other will think. It is your child. We named our DS middle name after my maternal grandfather. With our next baby (not bc we want to be even or fair) well name after someone on my husbands side.

ldk4498

With my background, we are not "allowed" to name our children after living relatives, so the specific person we are naming our children after won't feel good/bad about it.  However, if you are naming a child after a living relative, I can see where others may feel hurt - especially is you are using sibling names vs. grandparents etc.