Stay at Home Moms

Any advice/opinions?

Hi Ladies! I'm not a SAHM yet, but I'm looking for some WWYD advice. I'm a little over half way through my pregnancy & DH has agreed to let me be a SAHM. I am currently working full time & plan to do so until maybe 2 weeks before my EDD. Here's the thing, DH is all gung ho about me needing to take my paid maternity leave (we have $ saved, but could always use any extra) & then tell them that I'm not coming back to work. I just don't feel completey right about this though. I mean if I had decided after LO arrives, that's different, but I know now that I don't plan on returning to work. However, with the economy taking a hit, our company isn't doing so great & I'm worried that if I tell them that I'm not coming back they may just lay me off. I also worry that something will happen while I'm out & I'll HAVE to go back to work. There's just so much that's up in the air. So WWYD, ladies? Thanks for listening/reading.
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Re: Any advice/opinions?

  • Aside from the moral issue.....the more people that do this, the more likely a company is to dump their maternity leave after being burned by employees....make sure you don't have an obligation to return.

    My old firm had a generous maternity leave.  But, if you didn't come back for a certain amount of time, you had to pay most of it back.  This is because they had so many people take the paid leave (and paid benefits) and then call up a week before they were due to come back and say, "Hey, I've decided not to come back!"  The policy was very strict and they made sure they collected every penny back from anyone who did this.

    So, just make sure you won't get stuck with a bill if you do it.  Personally, I wouldn't do it because it does come back to bite other people.  On the other hand, there does come a point where you have to do what's best for YOU because you can bet the company wouldn't thibk twice about laying you off if that's what benefitted them.  

    If there is an employee handbook that deals with this, I'd make sure to read it thoroughly just to protect yourself. 

  • Everything that you have just listed is exactly how I feel about it & what I worry about & where my problems lie. I have already read the maternity leave policy at work & it doesn't say anything about paying it back, but it still just doesn't feel morally right to me. I guess that I know what I should do, it's just difficult to make that decision. Plus, once I tell them, there's really no turning back...
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  • I was in the same situation.  I really didn't want to lie and say I was coming back, but my DH and everyone I talked to about this disagreed with me.

    I decided to tell the company.  They were super-nice and gave me all my sick days paid anyway (about 40 days!).  The HR lady told me I'd earned it, for which I was so grateful.

    This was before the current economic crisis, though.  I understand that your decision will be harder.  And some people discover they can't stand SAH, and want to go back.  So you may want to hold off.  But if you're absolutely sure you've decided (like I was), all I can say is it feels good to be honest.

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  • i was in your situation.  HATED telling my co. after the fact, but that's what i did.  i would have been out 8 yrs worth of sick time, vaca time, STD, etc.  i went into the office 4 wks before i was due back and told them i wasn't coming back.  they took it well - even congratulated me.  good luck on your decision.
  • I also did this-I was on the fence about coming back but it was still on my mind. Someone made a good point to me ( actually I think it was my boss) he said corporate would have no moral feelings if they had to lay me off or fire me so I should feel the same-ha ha
  • If you're concerned about the economy, and who isn't, I think it's reasonable to hold off on telling them you plan to SAH.  If, though, during your mat leave you find that things are better than expected, than I'd tell them sooner rather than later.  JMO.
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  • Thanks for all your input ladies! I think I have decided that I am going to tell work about a month before I leave. I talked to DH tonight & told him that I really have a problem with the whole thing & although?reluctant, he was understanding. I just can't justify basically taking money that isn't technically mine. Not to mention that I'm about to be raising another human being & regardless of whether she ever knows about it or not, how can I tell her to tell the truth when her mom doesn't? I guess I just don't believe in the ?whole 'do as I say, not as I do' philosophy of parenting.

    Well, I suppose that I'll be seeing you ladies in a few months! Thanks again & have an awesome night!?

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  • KL777KL777 member

    My employer no longer offered maternity leave (I was using paid vacation and paid sick time) but I told my supervisor that I was staying home with DS the first day I got home from the hospital (3 days after DS was born). 

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