F/U to specialist appt
fauxshelley
member
I meant with the peri for an agonizingly long time yesterday. Bottom line - Its worse than I previously thought. The dr said less than 1 percent chance that he will make it to term and be born alive, and if he did he will have a life full of surgeries and hospital stays. She mentioned that bc it is so rare, I would not find a dr specializing in his condition. She also found heart and kidney issues as well.
The peri mentioned that I could go to a clinic (if I chose to do so) and can terminate up to 24 weeks. I am pro choice, but the thought of going there just kills me. I would rather it be my doctor at my hospital. Thats how I always imagined this pregnancy would end (except w/ a baby). My husband thinks just the opposite. He is in the medical field and thinks I should go to a clinic bc they routinely do this procedure and he thinks I will get better care with less complications.
Its hard for me to believe that just a week ago, I was going to look at cribs, and had picked one out to buy on Saturday. Now I am wondering what to with his remains, and he's still alive. I know that I can't keep him safe, and it kills me. I don't want this. Its not fair. I don't understand why this is happening to my sweet baby. I can't imagine how someone recovers or if its possible.
Thank you ladies for your support. I know that you are all as heartbroken as I am. I will keep you as updated as I can.
Re: F/U to specialist appt
Oh Shelley....I know there are not any words that can be said to ease your pain right now....please just know you have my condolences! My heart is breaking for you and your family right now. Sending love, prayer, and support your way....
Take care of yourself and give yourself time to grieve...
I am so sorry. I cannot imagine how devastated you and your DH must be. Please know that I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Saying a prayer for your son as well.
Shelley,
I am so sorry you got such devastating news. My heart breaks for you and your family. You have a lot to think about, and I wish you strength and support as you make such a difficult decision.
I'm praying for you all.
Yours,
Robyn
Bronx Zoo: Summer 2013
To read my blog, click on the giraffe pic below!
Oh Shelley, I am so terribly heartbroken for you. Like all the other ladies, I kept following your updates, hoping that somewhere along the way you would receive good news. I will pray that you and your husband will find comfort in each other as you face the next few days and weeks. Take the time to grieve and be as strong as you can for each other. Words really cannot express how sorry I am that you are faced with this.
Michele
Oh Fauxshelley I'm so sorry! I am glad you got more information though. There is a board on Baby Center for termination after medical diagnosis...it might help to talk to some people there if that makes sense to you based on the course you take.
Please try to remember that you are a wonderful mom, this is not your fault, and that you love your baby and are trying to do what you believe is best for him and for your family. It isn't fair and you shouldn't have to deal with this, but you do have it in you to survive this.
I will keep you in my thoughts. Best wishes and know that many people are wishing you strength and peace in this sad time.
I am so sorry. I wish there was something more I could say. My heart goes out to you and your entire family. You should do what you feel most comfortable doing. Again, words can not tell you how much my heart hurts for you.
I am so sorry. wow. I keep trying to put myself into your shoes so I can figure out what to say to you, but am coming up blank. You are in what I would consider a worst case scenario and you are handling it so admirably. This is such a difficult time and you have such horrible choices to make...I wish I had some insight or some deeply profound words of advice for you, but sadly I do not. Hug your daughter so often that she's annoyed and allow yourself to openly grieve with your family is the best words of advice I have.
We are here for you....
I have no idea what to say except you and your family are in my prayers. Plus I am sending lots of hugs your way.
Kristina
I am deeply saddened and very sorry.
You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
Kari
While I am new, I haven't had a chance to follow your story. After reading this post I want to tell you how sorry I am that you have to go through this. I pray that you are able to find peace with whatever decision you make and hope you find the loving support from those around you.
http://oi62.tinypic.com/2w73hq9.jpg
Oh honey.... I so prayed you wouldn't get information like this at your appt. I wish there was something I could do to make this easier for you, I know that there isn't... and i wish that you didn't have to make the kind of decision that you are facing.
All i can do is tell you I'm sending you tons of love and good wishes, and that any time you need us to lean on - we're all here for you. Anytime.
Try to be strong... until you can't, then *don't* be... you're a great Mommy, and there is nothing more you can do than take care of your kids. Youre doing that. It's just so hard sometimes.
Christine
Oh, Shelley, I am so sorry.
This is so unfair. No mother should have to face a situation like this. I can see wanting to stay with your doctor through it all, it seems more... fitting, emotionally.
I'm sending you all the extra strength I have, I only wish there were a way to make it better.
I am so so so sorry to hear you have this outcome. Unfortunalty you already form a bond with your baby by this point of your pregnancy so a decision is difficult. With all the information the Dr. is giving you, you have to think of your life, your marriage, and the life your baby would have. It sounds like alot of suffering & you don't even know if the condition would be treatable because of how rare it is. If you can find a dr. to treat, what are the chances that person will be local?
I too am Pro-Choice. Let no one make you think you are doing the wrong thing by terminating. They will not be the one who has to deal with the heartbreak of watching their child go through surgeries, pain or not be able to function. They will not be the ones who go through the financial nightmares or see their marraige fall apart. they will not be the ones who have to watch the child die. If there was abetter chance than of course you would do what you can.
I really hope no one hates me for voicing that opinion. Shelley you are iun my thoughts & prayers & I hope God keeps you strong throughout this. I just can't imagine being in your position & having this kind of heartbreak.
Shelly,
I, like everyone else, cannot express the sadness that I feel for you and your family. Please know that we are sending all our love, support and prayers.
There are not enough words.... I am so sorry.
Shelly,
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family and my heart breaks for you.....know that you are not alone and have support and hugs here whenever you need them.
xo Dianna
I'm so sorry.
ETA: a friend went through something very similar (had to terminate her pg at 17wks for similar reasons). Her early blog posts discuss it some and I know she is open to talking about her experiences (maxsmommy.blogspot.com).
DD -- 5YO
DS -- 3YO
You know, I meant to address this in my earlier post also, but I'm pro choice too.... 100%, but I also know that I said I could *never* terminate myself.
When I was faced with a good chance that my girl had T-18 and likely wouldn't survive - I had to go through this same thought process... it's something we should NEVER have to consider, but I agree with other posters. Do not let ANYONE make you feel bad about any decision that you make. It's the right one for you and your little one and your family.
Just wanted to throw that in there... for what it's worth.
Hang in there -
Christine
I'm so sorry to hear this. I've been reading your posts, and was waiting to hear how things were going. I'm so sorry you're going through this. I know nothing anyone says right now can help heal the pain you're experiencing. But just know you have all of our ears whenever you need them. Lots of hugs to you.
-katie
Shelly-
I wish I had something wonderful to say that would make your problems disappear. I am so sad for you and your family.
My heart breaks for what you and your family are going through! Hugs to you during this hard time!
If you don't mind my opinion on your options for delivery. I am an OB nurse, and if it were me, I would go to the hospital and deliver with my Dr. If you have any ?? feel free to ask!!
I totally agree. I don't think I would want to go to a clinic.
Fauxshelley.
I can't tell you how sorry I am that you and your family are going through such a devastating time. My prayers are with you.
Louise