Poll: What do you think when you hear "honorary bridesmaid"

ECUTeacher

I am eager to hear your thought. I will follow-up when I hear what you have to say.

GeminiKMP-C

I am scared I am about to say something that might hurt someone's feelings, but I'll just say it and hope I'm wrong.  I kind of think "friend/relative who I feel obligated to include in my wedding party, but I don't really have a spot for her as a real bridesmaid."

But the more I think about it, I don't even know what an honorary BM means... what is it?

 

ECUTeacher

Nothing will hurt my feelings...be totally honest. I will post again soon to explain. 

Crazycrustacean

I think that the bride thought of them as an afterthought. Or that she picked her bms, but none of them are living up to her expectations. So now she's looking for someone she can lean on without having to include them in the wedding party.?

SpartyGirl

::nosing in from sal:: not to be rude, but sounds like a bs title to me.  i had a "friend" ask me to be in her wedding and then un-ask me 8 months later b/c supposedly the church wasn't big enough to have 1 more bm at the altar.  uh, okay.  we'd only been close friends since hs. think she threw that term around, so it has a negative connotation for me.  that was the last time i talked to her.

but i felt better later when i learned she'd be 1 bm short b/c her soon to be sil would be in jail for her wedding!!!  HA HA HA!!  i'm not a vengeful person, i just believe in karma, and that karma was freaking awesome!

hope i didn't offend anyone.

versed

I think it's kinda along the lines of "I don't care about you enough to have you in my wedding party, but I want your help planning my wedding and assembling all my DIY projects."

jennrg1019

Ditto NextVerse.

MrsWarner

You just didn't make the cut

jnealet

It depends - if someone is a stickler for etiquette then it's a way to slip one more friend into the wedding party without disrupting the "numbers" on each side.  If not, then it's a way to include someone without really including them - maybe feeling like you have to include someone whose wedding you were in but aren't all that close with anymore.

SpartanGirl

NextVerseUnknown:

I think it's kinda along the lines of "I don't care about you enough to have you in my wedding party, but I want your help planning my wedding and assembling all my DIY projects."

This.

ECUTeacher

I think you are all right. This is what I was afraid of. Great...

Kaybee44

Ditto NextVerse. It's kind of like "I only want a certain number in my bridal party and you're almost important enough but not". Sorry

I wasn't an honorary BM but I was a replacement BM. My friend(who is now my best friend) got married 2 years ago and I introduced her and her hubby. Well, she has 2 sisters, he has 1, she had someone who she wanted as MOH already and a really good friend from college. She also had a male friend who she wanted as a groomsman. Since she wanted him, her hubby wanted one of his friends(girl) as a BM. So I almost made the cut but didn't. Turns out that this girl is an alcoholic and irresponsible. My friend didn't even want her but her DH did. She flaked out, didn't show up for the bridal shower, never responded to emails, and so they asked her to step out. Meanwhile, I'm helping my friend plan her wedding, helping her not stress out, going with her to her dress fittings. I felt kind of like an honorary BM.

Basically, I don't think it's(honorary BM) entirely bad. Some people are really crazy about the number of their bridal party. At least you don't have to worry about paying to buy a dress, get your hair and makeup done, etc.

AB&TB

Yeah.  Kinda like I want your help with stuff, and I like you, or you are part of my fiance's family and I feel obligated to give you some sort of title, but I don't like you enough to actually have you stand up with us at the altar kinda thing.

books4brooke

I had an honorary BM but it was because my step-sis was supposed to be a BM and told me that she thought she would have a panic attack in the middle of my wedding and faint because she couldn't be in the same room as my dad (long long story).  I decided to have another BM and make her "honorary."  She didn't do anything other than have her name in the program.

The funny thing is that my cousin actually ended up fainting.  She had volleyball all day and hadn't eaten anything.

cluessbride23

Am I bad person for having one for my wedding?? 1 cousin was getting married the following month, so instead of her shelling out $ for my wedding, I asked for to be an honorary BM to help me the day of. Make sure everything was looking good, we had snacks, drinks, etc... Basically be my go to person for the day of. She hardly did anything- I think she was kind of PO'ed about it. She ended up moving her wedding till the following year about 3 months before my wedding. I should have asked her to be a BM then, but since it was so close to the wedding I didn't. I guess she has the extra $ to shell out but I didn't think she did and she was offended. I donno... she never out right said anything to me about it but I kinda got that hint. Even though her wedding was the following year she didn't ask me to be a BM but a reader. Whatev

maramarrie

I think "someone who I really love and wish I could include but can't"

OR

"someone who I really love but don't want to include," for whatever reason

maramarrie

SpartyGirl:

::nosing in from sal:: not to be rude, but sounds like a bs title to me.  i had a "friend" ask me to be in her wedding and then un-ask me 8 months later b/c supposedly the church wasn't big enough to have 1 more bm at the altar.  uh, okay.  we'd only been close friends since hs. think she threw that term around, so it has a negative connotation for me.  that was the last time i talked to her.

but i felt better later when i learned she'd be 1 bm short b/c her soon to be sil would be in jail for her wedding!!!  HA HA HA!!  i'm not a vengeful person, i just believe in karma, and that karma was freaking awesome!

hope i didn't offend anyone.

 

this is hilarious ^^^