BM always finds a way to ruin everything

MissSusieQ

She called DH today just to be her usual self and complain about stupid things. DH and her got into it and he called to tell me we are getting a lawyer and are going to go for physical joint custody. My stomach is in knots and I don't think I'm going to enjoy our anniversery dinner and the rest of the evening. It makes me sick.

xmaryrickx

Hopefully, he takes a few moments before dinner to calm down. And that you can to.
Try to forget about it for the night, really there is nothing that you can do right now. Enjoy some time with your H, and celebrate your anniversary. Sorry she is a doodlehead.

LovetheMidwest

I am sorry you are going through this. I am dealing with similar issues. We have a meeting set up with our lawyer later this week. I am just sick right now as well. I don't have any advice, but your not alone in feeling like this.  I hope it works out for you. Try to enjoy your dinner.

BennettKristenD

Aww...I'm so sorry all this is happening on your anniversery. But try to keep your cool. Try to calm dow before dinner and I would suggest not even talking about it at dinner. There's no need to let her bad behavior ruin your evening. Happy anniversery!

Phantomgirl

missSusieQ  

riabiron

Ummm wait. so he calls you to TELL you that you are going to court for joint physical custody? Did he ever discuss it with you since you are his wife and live there too? So, you will have your BIL, his kid and your SS living with you (at least half time) without your DH ever discussing any of it with you????

That's pretty craptastic.

Saran

While your DH should discuss stuff with you, I don't think he has to get your approval to get "joint" custody of his kids. That is his right as their father to at least have his kids for 50% of the time. Even if you had all your family living with you and a few strays, his kids trump them all. If you marry a man with children and they don't live with him at the time, you should already be prepared for if and when they start living with him 50% of the time. So when the time comes, you will be mentally prepared and it will be a smooth transition. If you ask me EVERY father who divorces or leaves a relationship should automatically fight for joint custody. These kids need their fathers and I dont mean EOW. They need to be a constant presence in their lives/activities. And this post wasn't really directed to the poster but in response to what some PP have said.

riabiron

Saran

Obviously you don't know the backstory with this poster. Her DH has done this kind of thing multiple times. He invited his brother to live with them without consulting her and refuses to make him leave, all the while making his wife a glorified nanny and housekeeper. Not cool. And YES he should at least consult his wife before making life altering decisions. If a man wants joint custoday he should at least do the polite thing and consult his wife and then she can decide if she wants to stick around or not. I know that Susie is all for joint custody, but he should have at least spoken with his WIFE. No one is saying that the wife is more important, but she deserves at least the COURTESY OF CONSIDERING HER FEELINGS!

*off my soapbox*

Kyah

Saran:

While your DH should discuss stuff with you, I don't think he has to get your approval to get "joint" custody of his kids. That is his right as their father to at least have his kids for 50% of the time. Even if you had all your family living with you and a few strays, his kids trump them all. If you marry a man with children and they don't live with him at the time, you should already be prepared for if and when they start living with him 50% of the time. So when the time comes, you will be mentally prepared and it will be a smooth transition. If you ask me EVERY father who divorces or leaves a relationship should automatically fight for joint custody. These kids need their fathers and I dont mean EOW. They need to be a constant presence in their lives/activities. And this post wasn't really directed to the poster but in response to what some PP have said.

Are you seriously advocating that he not even need to have a discussion with his wife about it and that its ok to just inform her of how things will be? Because that certainly would not fly with me. Of course I would never be against having my SS more, I would sure be pissed if he decided it without talking to me first and working out the details with me.