ARGH =- MIL vent

cbidt*sgirl

So..DH explicitly "forbids" (her word) MIL from taking ds to get cookies today which she does every week even though we have asked this to be more of a once in  a while treat than a weekly event.  She very proudly tells me that she went to the bakery with ds (BEFORE LUNCH) and that she never had any intention of following our wish not to have a weekly cookie run.

 

I really don't know how to respond to this.  i have had explicit conversations with her where i expressed my concern about this particular habit, i've been present during the trip and set a limit with my ds about how many cookies, which she undermines by ordering for him after he orders, and i've resorted to side comments and eye rollling (when my more mature tactics haven't worked.).  

katie277s

Does you MIL babysit your DS?  Can you tell her that until she learns to respect your wishes that her weekly visits will have to be at your house only and no trips to the bakery? 

EMT

WOW, absolutely refusing to follow your wishes (and then bragging about it) is NOT okay.  I don't know what I'd do either.  It's not a huge issue to me (the cookie part) but the outright refusal to do what you and your DH say is huge. 

kevschickee2

are cookies really worth the fight I mean does she take great care of him?  If she does I would just let it go

cbidt*sgirl

katie277s:

Does you MIL babysit your DS?  Can you tell her that until she learns to respect your wishes that her weekly visits will have to be at your house only and no trips to the bakery? 

 sorry, should have included that info.  she babysits one morning a week and it is a long drive for her so i feel trapped.  she knows i'm relying on her.  generally i feel she does a great job with him - he's safe, well loved - it is just stuff like this (there are other examples of her undermining me, or just ignoring my wishes) that drives me crazy.  None of it is safety related or i would find other arrangements - it is small stuff like junk food, not following our rules about eating at the table etc.

cbidt*sgirl

kevschickee2:

are cookies really worth the fight I mean does she take great care of him?  If she does I would just let it go

 

it's partly the cookies - but more so her refusal to follow our rules or respect our wishes and the fact that she does this right in front of my 2 1/2 year old.  For example I'll say - you can have your treat after your dinner and she'll say literally hand him whatever treat we are talking about at that very moment (usually when i'm cooking), or i'll tell him that it is time for nap so we need to clean up and she'll take out a new toy and give it to him.  Last night when i'm struggling to get him to calm down and get into pj's for bed she's running back and forth enticing him into a game of hide-n-seek.....  then she looks at me and laughs like's it all a fun game.  i'm sick, 31 weeks pregnant and TIRED.

kevschickee2

cbidt*sgirl:

kevschickee2:

are cookies really worth the fight I mean does she take great care of him?  If she does I would just let it go

 

it's partly the cookies - but more so her refusal to follow our rules or respect our wishes and the fact that she does this right in front of my 2 1/2 year old.  For example I'll say - you can have your treat after your dinner and she'll say literally hand him whatever treat we are talking about at that very moment (usually when i'm cooking), or i'll tell him that it is time for nap so we need to clean up and she'll take out a new toy and give it to him.  Last night when i'm struggling to get him to calm down and get into pj's for bed she's running back and forth enticing him into a game of hide-n-seek.....  then she looks at me and laughs like's it all a fun game.  i'm sick, 31 weeks pregnant and TIRED.

yup that is a horse of a different color I agree with you.  She should undermind you like that