I am SO not having any more kids!

lailak42

Not because pregnancy is uncomfortable.  Not because of the physical, financial, or emotional strain.  No, I'm not having anymore because I'd probably end up divorcing my jackass husband.  He just does NOT understand why I have certain rules and boundaries about who's allowed in the room and when, and instead of trying to understand where I'm coming from he just yells at me.

I'm going in to be induced Monday morning.  I told DH to go to work for the morning because the induction will probably take awhile.  He only works like 10 minutes from the hospital, so he could get there quickly if necessary.  My sister will be passing through town and I told him she's going to come hang out with me for a little while that morning.  DH hit the roof because I'm letting my sister come and won't allow his family.  He absolutely does not understand, nor does he try to understand, that I'm not close enough with his family to be comfortable having any of them in the room while I'm in labor.  Just doesn't get it.  Instead he just yells at me.  This is the guy who had me in tears a week ago when I thought I was in labor because he was such a jerk about all of this. 

He went so far as to say if I can invite whomever I want, so can he.  I told him I'm telling the nurses no one else is allowed in, and if he keeps it up he'll be on the list of those not allowed.  I'm not kidding.  If he keeps acting this way it's going to be worse having him there than not.  I'll do this myself if I have to.  The worst part about all of this is we usually get along really well, but this issue has been dragged out since DS's birth because his family refuses to let go of the fact that they weren't alerted when I went into labor.  So, he's sick of hearing it and he's projecting it onto me instead of standing up to his family.  I can't take this anymore!

DSteed-to-be

I'm so sorry he isn't understanding of your comfort during labor.  You have to have people that make you comfortable and will help (or NOT have people that will make you UNcomfortable).

At the same time, it seems like this could be remedied if you didn't allow your sister into the room just to "keep it even" that no one is welcome in...

blendedfammama

I'm sorry to hear that.  That's not the kind of thing you need/want to hear or deal with right now.

Jamie Sonnenleiter

What a jerk!!!!!  If my DH was acting like that, HE would definatly be put on the list not allowed in.  Fortunatly when it comes to the delivery, he's left all the decisions up to me.  I did put his mom and sister on the list of allowed, but because I know they won't show.

berry25

That is so frustrating!  I am sorry your husband isn't sticking up for you.  Sometimes men really just don't get it. 

Squishycheeks

I'm sorry! That's tough! I cannot imagine having any of my DH's family in the delivery room either!

volleydiva

I think this would be a problem for us if DH's family lived here, but thank goodness they don't.  Not that I don't like them, but not comfortable enough with having them in there looking at my girl parts!  It will be DH and my mom as he is not calm enough for me to be calm.  I usually have to calm him down!  Besides I think he's going to pass out!  LOL. 

orion09

Tell him that you're inviting YOUR family to his next physical checkup.... and you're going to make sure that everyone is paying attention when they tell him to "cough"..... i'm sure that might help him see that you don't want your genitals on display to people you aren't comfortable with.

kiki-W

oh honey i am sorry.

i sounds like you are reading a page from my life!

stick to what you want and try to relax.

but ... you are not alone.

Mike&Care

Geez, it's pretty obvious that you will feel more comfortable with your sister, than with his family members. I agree with you. I'd let my mom and sister in the room, but not his sisters, mom or step-mom.

I am sure he is just freaking out that the baby will be here so soon. Try not to argue with him these last few days. You are about the have the best experience ever!! He needs to get over it and give into his pregnant wife who will actually be the one laboring and pushing the kid out!!

Just_Lisa

We had this fight for awhile and finally when I was in tears trying to make he realize that this isn't personal, it's not me wanting his family their it's for the best of me and the baby im trying to birth. The more relaxed and stress free I am the easier it will be on everyone. I told him I didn't care who was in that visting room and who came in afterwards. Just let me have my space to do what I need to do. Which is relax. He got it and now it's not an issue.

Mrs.V.

Jesus and the Mary Chain, your husband is being an a$$hat. 

 

Tell Him:

 

* I'm sorry that your family feels slighted that they weren't alerted when I went into labor with DS.  We'll make sure that we call them and let them know this time.  I appreciate their support and I'm sorry that you've had to hear about all this for a while.  However, I just don't feel comfortable with them in the delivery room with me.  I hope they (and you) can respect that

 

* As for my sister being there, I *do* feel comfortable having her there, just like you are more at ease around your own family, I am more at ease around mine.  Please try to understand how intensely personal the labor process is for the woman giving birth, and respect that I don't want my in-laws staring at my bajingo.  Thanks.

rrodgers803

I'm sorry your DH is being such an @ss. I made it very clear very early on that no one will be allowed in the room except who i say, when i say if i say

i told him "you should know better than to argue with me knowing i'll be pushing your child out of a very small hole" he just said ok and smiled

stand your ground and be strong, good luck!

Clevelander

it's your hooha, it's your choice.

 

Tell him it's ok to have anyone he wants in the room as long as he is naked too.

MeghanF13

Tell him you are the one in labour/doing the work and your comfort is important. Being uncomfortable can make labour progress much slower, and you need the support of those you are comfortable with. Tell him that you are not comfortable being around his family while in labour - you don't know how you'll act, what you'll be comfortable wearing etc, and youdon't want to be self conscious which you would be around your family. Tell him you are not putting on a show - labour is hard work!

stefani6124

Clevelander:

it's your hooha, it's your choice.

 

Tell him it's ok to have anyone he wants in the room as long as he is naked too.

guim0014

lailak42:

I told him I'm telling the nurses no one else is allowed in, and if he keeps it up he'll be on the list of those not allowed.  I'm not kidding. 

 I think that is a completely understandable threat considering how selfish he is being.  I feel for you so bad - this should be about your comfort.  Not how much guff he has to take from his family.  Keep doing what's best for you!  

rbidi

Sorry you have to deal with this. Hopefully when Monday comes around, he'll put everything in persepective and realize that he's being unreasonable.