potential family feud over baby name (long)

ToyLes0922

*posted this on baby names board but I want as many opinions as possible on this-very IMPORTANT! lol*

Okay, so I have this situation, I'll try to cut it down to the short version. My sister in law and DH's brother are done having kids. They recently had another boy back in November, and she had her heart set on having a girl. On Easter, she told me what names she would have named her if it was a girl. She wanted to name her Katherine (after her mother),  Elaina (Elaine is the name of my DH's late mother, but she added the A because she didn't like it). The SECOND I heard Elaina, I loved it! I would spell it Elena, and it would be after DH's mom, and he said that he would love to remember his mom that way.

Bottom line, we both love the name, my family loves the name, as a first name. We are still working on a middle, if it's a girl (we'll know on Wed's U/S). I should mention, sister in law is a complete psycho. With this I say everything. We play board games in family get togethers, and she cries and pouts when her husband that is on her team doesn't help her to win. This is one of many reasons why she's psycho. 

So long story short, I want to use Elena, would it be messed up to take it and name my first baby (if it's a girl) knowing now that she had it chosen if she had a girl, even though she had another boy. She will probably hate me forever and cry and wish she had a girl, and that I did it on purpose. I kinda want to avoid provoking this drama, but my hubby hates her guts and says screw it, let's name OUR BABY whatever we want, she was my mother too!. 

I just don't want WW3 forever with her ya know? PLEASE ADVISE! U/S is on Wednesday and if it's a girl, we are just gonna die of happiness! (DH's family is ALL BOYS, so we are hoping to break the curse and give grandpa a grandaughter!)

Mommy2Gav

I agree with your DH.?

blairsgirl

I agree with yh.  Name your child what you want.  She will eventually get over it if she is upset.

mamaiorory

If you know for sure they are done having kids I say go for it.

taelir

Name the kid whatever you want.

It's not her kid, and if she wants to look like a child by throwing constant tantrums about it, then meh.  She just looks like that much more of an idiot.

ToyLes0922

taelir:

Name the kid whatever you want.

It's not her kid, and if she wants to look like a child by throwing constant tantrums about it, then meh.  She just looks like that much more of an idiot.

I can't wait to read your response to my DH..he'll love it! Thank you! lol

DanielsWife

Seriously, I would do it. Really. Do what makes you and your DH happy!

christin3580

I would still ask her about it AFTER you find out what you are having since you said you were going to find out. There is no point in starting something if your going to end up with a Johnny.

jensahokie

I go for it, and I would make a point to tell her that you (1) love the name too and (2) also wanted to honor DH's (her) mom.  How can she argue with that?  It is a beautiful name and if she is done having kids, she should be happy you chose it and are honoring her mom.

Starlette1983

soon2bemidwestmommy:

If you know for sure they are done having kids I say go for it.

I agree... if you and your DH are willing to put up with some family awkwardness for awhile. 

LillyBug923

Your baby, your name choice. I agree with your DH. It's not like SIL will be able to use the name.

Mrs.Sky_and_Mr.Luke

I would just go ahead and name it what you want it seems like the name would be really important to both of you and it really didn't have any meaning to her.

rrotem

I don't think you should spend any time worrying about this before the big u/s! ?

That said, if it's a girl - I would probably talk to your SIL and say you guys like the name b/c it's after your DH's mom, you hope she doesn't mind that you are going to use it.

I am sort of in a similar situation where we think we are going to name our baby after one of DH's relatives who passed away. ?We are Jewish so it is very common to name a baby after a deceased relative. ?DH is going to talk to his family before we name the baby - although I think their reaction will be happy. ?I was just a little concerned that some of his other family members theoretically might have wanted to name their child after the same person, but I think they will understand that we're the ones having a boy now - so we should just use the name now because who knows if anyone else will have a boy, and then no one would be able to be named after this person and that would be sad! ?Similarly, DH's cousin just had a baby girl and if she had had a boy and taken this name we would have totally understood and been happy someone was named after this relative, and picked another name. ?Sorry this was so long. ? ? ? ?

Mrs.DeliaMarieP

If they are definitely done having kids, then by all means, use the name.

Jessie0706

Yea, I agree with pp. I think it'd be fine. Plus you're spelling it differently.

navygrl

I think you should wait until you have the U/S before you say anything about wanting to use the name to avoid a cat fight but other than that - if it's a girl...name her what you want. Besides, it's your hubby (her brother's) mom as well & she's done having kids so I see no issue. GL

ToyLes0922

Thank you all for your responses. I hope I do have  girl, and I think I will go ahead and name her that. We only see them for holidays anyway, if she wants to be petty, then that's her deal

p.s: If it's a boy, I'll name him Nathan, after her baby, just to piss her off lol jk..totally kidding!

JamRy

If your SIL said she is done having kids then I think you should use the name. I would be upfront and let her know and wait until after you find out what you are having. You don't want any unnecessary drama. BTW, Elena is our girl name too. We are having a boy so maybe next time!

jmubride2

My cousin's name is Spencer and we will name our child Noah Spencer.  Spencer was my grandfather's middle name and it is a family name.  I think that family names are often "shared."  It shouldn't be a big deal even if she were to have another child that is a girl, especially if you use it as a first name and she uses it as a middle name.  She'll get over it.  Maybe you should keep the name a secret until baby is born.  Then there is really nothing she can do about it when it is signed and stamped on the birth cert. lol!