I'm starting to worry DS will never be potty trained..

tigger1800

He turns 3 in 6 weeks.  I feel really bad that I didn't just buckle down and do it this past summer when I was home on maternity leave, but it was so hard with a newborn.  He was showing signs of being ready then, like he would sit on the potty if I asked him and he peed a couple times in it.  He has always been freaked out by underpants though, and the few times I tried to get him to wear them, he screams and gets upset and says "no, new diaper".  I didnt' have the energy to fight that (and didn't know if I should) when I was home with him and figured maybe that meant he wasn't ready.  Now i'm worried I missed my window of opportunity, because he wont' even sit on the potty if I ask him to anymore, and he still gets upset if I mention underwear, or even pull-ups. 

Advice?  Do I wait?  I really wanted to have him PT by the time he starts pre-school in the fall. Do I just suck it up and put underwear on him and force the issue, or will that do more harm than good.  I feel so lost on the whole PT thing.  Also, what really is the "normal" age for boys.  He has hydronephrosis (enlarged kidney) and his kidney doctor who we see 1x a year said to contact him if he wasn't potty training "on schedule" to see if that was a sign of any other problems with his "system". 

 

JillShari

I worried the same thing.  My DS PT'd himself practically at 3.5 yrs.  It was definattely worth the wait and we never had power struggles about it.

One day I saw him struggling to poop standing up and just took him to the potty with the potty ring and said how much easier it is to poop sitting on the potty....and reinforced that.  He agreed with me and then said that maybe he'd like to try pooping all the time on the potty.  I was thrilled to get that far.  I still had him in diapers but his preschool requested pull ups in case he wanted to go at school.

Then once he decided to go and it was just #1 and I asked if he was going to practice that too...and he said yes. 

I printed off a sticker chart from the internet which was very exciting to him.  And

we

JillShari

I worried the same thing.  My DS PT'd himself practically at 3.5 yrs.  It was definattely worth the wait and we never had power struggles about it.

One day I saw him struggling to poop standing up and just took him to the potty with the potty ring and said how much easier it is to poop sitting on the potty....and reinforced that.  He agreed with me and then said that maybe he'd like to try pooping all the time on the potty.  I was thrilled to get that far.  I still had him in diapers but his preschool requested pull ups in case he wanted to go at school.

Then once he decided to go and it was just #1 and I asked if he was going to practice that too...and he said yes. 

I printed off a sticker chart from the internet which was very exciting to him.  And

Grantand

I don't think he's ready, and he likely wasn't really "ready" when he exhibited those couple of signs last year, so don't beat yourself up.  I thought the very same thing about my DS (showed a few signs, but I had a newborn and just couldn't commit to training), but tried not to sweat it.  He trained at about 2.5 but is still nowhere close to being trained at night/naps (he was 3 in January).  Lots of people comment on how "early" he was (which I know lots of kids who were trained earlier, and lots who weren't trained until more like 4).  Bottom line: he'll train eventually, and you didn't screw him up.

JillShari

I worried the same thing.  My DS PT'd himself practically at 3.5 yrs.  It was definattely worth the wait and we never had power struggles about it.

One day I saw him struggling to poop standing up and just took him to the potty with the potty ring and said how much easier it is to poop sitting on the potty....and reinforced that.  He agreed with me and then said that maybe he'd like to try pooping all the time on the potty.  I was thrilled to get that far.  I still had him in diapers but his preschool requested pull ups in case he wanted to go at school.

Then once he decided to go and it was just #1 and I asked if he was going to practice that too...and he said yes. 

I printed off a sticker chart from the internet which was very exciting to him.  And we discussed  having a potty party once he was more of an "expert".  He picked out a few people to attend, the food and then we talked about a ceremony where he got his underwear, threw away a diaper and got pronounced a big boy with heaps of hip hip hoorays and praise.  And we did that after two weeks of going without accidents.

I'd say be patient and watch him for cues.

MichelleWP

The average age for a boy is 3 yrs 3 months.

JillShari

Sorry, I had computer issues!

stacynikki

I think you're doing just fine.  He won't be going off to college not potty trained KWIM?  I've always heard that boys are late potty trainers.  DS has no interest.  He'll sit on the potty forever but he's never peed or pooped.  His teachers are actually wonderful about letting all the kids sit on the potty at school for as long as they want.  I think they'll have him potty trained before I even have to worry about it!

 

EliseB0323

I thought my son would never be potty-trained. Something just clicked when he was about 3 1/2 and he started going on his own w/ very few accidents. I wouldn't worry about it yet.

KoriBrett

Anytime we force anything with DD, she basically flips us the bird and does it in her own sweet time.  We are basically just now done with it, she just turned 3 on Sat.  It's been a long slow gradual process. 

She went sporadically for a while, then not at all for months.  Then we tried underwear, she hated it and wet herself, wasn't ready.  Back to diapers.  Then for a weekend, we had her go naked.  The underwear felt too secure like the diaper so she'd forget - naked she didn't have that and it helped.  A few days later she wanted underwear and since then has only had 2 or 3 accidents.  She is still iffy on pooping and only does it at home.  We try to make sure that it's her choice - every morning we'll ask if she wants diaper or underwear.  For a couple weeks she went back to diapers but they were never wet... and then yesterday I told her we were out of diapers and she's been fine with that.  We do overnight diapers, but they're rarely wet.

Long story to basically tell you that, at least for us, making it her choice and not forcing it was the only way it was going to work.  And if you haven't tried a naked weekend, try it, especially if underwear freaks him out.  Maybe also try having him pick out some new ones with you?

omurray

I don't have a lot of advice, but did want to share that my DS hated undewear.  He really hated the way the regular briefs felt so tight.  So, I got him some boxer briefs, called them shorts instead of underwear, and he loves them.  The ones he likes are from the Carters store and they are not tight on his tushie at all.  II also bought a package of Hanes boxer briefs at Walmart, but they must run really small cause they were super tight on DS and he hates those too.  I know they also sell regular boxers in toddler sizes online, but I luckily didn't have to go that far.  Anyway, just thought I'd share as maybe your DS would like the boxer briefs (careful not to call them underwear! LOL).

eshaffer

I don't think Mommyme is here now, but she had a similar underwear issue as the PP, and he wanted to go "commando." Her DS even went to daycare without underwear b/c he refused to wear them. She bought him boxer briefs and called them "commando shorts," lol, and I believe he's been fine since.