Need advice: best friend is 32 weeks with twins

Molly Jean

Hi ladies, I need some help but I have NO IDEA where to start.  I don't have any children of my own and haven't had a close friend go through this before.

My best friend and her husband are expecting twins soon.  I am the Godmother (yippee!  I'm so thrilled!) but I feel clueless.  She was recently put on bedrest and her cervix is thinning.

She mentioned that she wants them to stay put for another 2 weeks but obviously there is no guarantee.

(and finally) My question: is this something to be nervous about?  The twins are both still gaining weight and doing well but it makes me a bit scared that she's on bed rest so early.

Can anyone give me insight?  I just want to make sure she has everything she needs.  Any other advice?

Thanks so much.  Sorry that turned into a novel.

quickstepstar

Best thing to do I think is to just be there for her and stop by to visit. If she is on bedrest she must be pretty lonely. Maybe bring her some movies? When I was in the hospital I got flowers and a fruit basket from some friends which was awesome.

macchiatto

Being on bedrest at 32 weeks with twins is pretty normal; I was on bedrest from weeks 34 to 38 and then delivered. (Twins are born, on average, at 36.5 week. It's great she's made it to 32, actually! ) So I mean, it is definitely MUCH better for the babies (and the parents!) to stay in a few more weeks, but at this point their long-term prognosis is pretty good.

Ditto the pp in terms of bringing movies, asking if she wants you to come over and hang out, etc. I actually stayed pretty busy on bedrest--trying to cram in reading my last few childbirth, raising twins, and baby-care books , working with DH to finish getting the nursery ready, etc. So the one thing that bugged me was when people assumed I had nothing to do and got offended if I didn't answer the phone or something! I was also trying to nap a lot since I couldn't sleep well at night. So I'd just come out and ask her how she's doing and be available however she needs you as much as you can. She's lucky to have a thoughtful friend like you!

Molly Jean

Thank you thank you thank you!

This helps calm my fears a bit.  I know that her doctors said they probably wouldn't let her go past 35 weeks because of a shared placenta but it's just hard for me to sit by without any real help for her.

Your ideas are fantastic.  She is mostly exhausted at this point, but I'm guessing no one is too tired for a goodie bag full of treats, magazines, and movies

tnkrbl21

II was home for 3 wks before my little guys were born (no medical reason - I just couldnt work anymore) and I defintely could have used more visitors.  It gets lonely and scary espeically if youa re worrying about delivering too early. 

Is there anything to be nervous about?  Yes, delivery this early she should be ok in terms of survival, but the babies would more than likely spend a decent amount of time in the NICU as they might not breathe very well.  Plus growth scans can be off a little bit, so even if they estimate their weight to be ok, the reality is that it can be off as much as a pound. 

Just be there to listen to her concerns and drop by when you can. 

horsebride

If it's any comfort, I had my twins at 32 weeks and they're totally fine.  They spent three weeks in the NICU and had incredible caregivers.  They're fine!  You're friend has overcome some major hurdles and things are looking really good for her now that she has reached the 32 week mark.

Temp159135562506975

32w is actually not early to be put on bedrest with twins - that is not bad, really.

If the babies were born now they would be in the NICU for a few weeks- to develop their lungs- but otherwise would have a very good chance at a very good outcome (I went into pre-term labor with my son at 32w so talked to the docs a lot about this).

As for how to help her now- visit her and bring her lunch if you can - so she's not lonely all day long when her Dh is working.... find ouf if there is any shopping she needs done- for baby, food, clothing for her to be comfy in, etc. That was a big help to me when i was on bed rest with my son (i was from 30w until 36w when i delivered).

you are a good friend- just keep touching base with her and do not let her say she doesn't need anything- b/c she does- even if it's just a visit and some food - or for you to help her do some laundry/clean, etc.

ES-6-26

Additionally, if you are a close friend, ask her if you can help with her and her husbands laundry, pick up groceries, anything to get the house ready for the babies, like last minute things for the nursery.  Spend some time in her house and make some casseroles and cookies for the freezer. That sort of thing - that's what "nesting" is and what she would be doing if she weren't confined.  And make sure she gets outside for fresh air!  Have her choose books and go get them from the library, too.