why can't people just buy off of the registry?!?

mrscrowell5308

so we had my work shower today and it was wonderful!  i had a great time and got some really great things.  however, the girls that threw it put on the invitation that we do not need anymore clothes (its really ridiculous how much we have) and that i am registered at target.  did you know that people still bought clothes?!?! and things that i didnt register for?  i really dont mind and its very thoughtful and i dont want to sound *itchy but there is still a ton of little things that we need.  we even have 2 targets in town.  one of them is pretty close to the school too.  sigh. anywyas, i wish that people would understand that even though i love all of the **extra* stuff,there is still a ton on the registry that we need.  oh well, its the thought that counts, right?  im dont wanna be rude but i just needed to vent.

Mrs_mam

Yeah, I pretty much expected to just get clothes except from our parents- and I was right for the most part! I'd just return whatever you don't need. It is lame though when people ask where you're registered and then buy you stuff that is completely different.

icyblueeyez19

Just return it. I reaturned a ton of stuff yesterday so I could get the things that we actually need. We too, have more clothes than we know what to do with.

Mrs.C042807

Registry=suggestions, not mandatory gifts

People will buy what they want.  You should be prepared to buy what you need, not expect others to do it for you.

mrscrowell5308

actually, registry = things that we need/want for the baby.

while yes, people can and will buy what they want, don't you think that it would be wise to actually get them things that they need?  its not like their buying a birthday present.  the whole point of a registry is for people to see what you NEED not just suggestions. 

i am also prepared to buy what i need bc i certainly dont expect for everyone to get me everything, i mean really.  however, when you have no clue where it came from, then it is hard to return things that you may already have or don't need.

hawindrem

I had my work shower today too. ?At the top of our registry it says that we are cloth diapering (it's something we feel strongly about). ?We got about five cases of disposable diapers, and lots of clothes. ?Actually there was not one single thing off the registry. ?Not one. ?And some of the clothes didn't have tags, and there was not a single gift receipt. ?I'll just offer the clothes to my friends who are expecting (as in show them to them and offer, not regift) and keep the diapers for emergencies. ?It has taught me, though, that in the future I should always buy off the registry if there is one. ?

Mrs.Carlybella

while registry may = things you want/need for the baby,  mrsC is still right-  registry = suggestions.

 

i know it stinks when people go off registry (i just got a 3 ft panda bear), but they are being thoughtful and even if you shake your head at some things, it is a gift and we can't complain

IncubusChic619

I registered at target as well & a TON of things are online only.  A lot of our family does not shop online so if we get a lot of clothes or doubles we will just return things & then purchase what we need with the completion coupon.

ForForever

Mrs.C042807:

Registry=suggestions, not mandatory gifts

Yes. This. 

Just be happy they care enough to buy something - even if it's not what you picked out for them to buy you. People love to buy baby clothes for showers because they are cute.

kklickka

mrscrowell5308:

actually, registry = things that we need/want for the baby.

while yes, people can and will buy what they want, don't you think that it would be wise to actually get them things that they need?

This. I totally agree with you - you have given people a list of everything you need, and they decide to ignore it completely...I will never understand it.  If Target won't take stuff back, take it to Walmart; they'll take back anything!

Krisito

When people don't buy off the registry, it strikes me as them saying "I don't really care what you need, I'm going to buy you what I like and what I think is cute," particularly with baby showers.

mrscrowell5308

well, like i said in my original post,  i do think its certainly the thought that counts,  and im not trying to be *itchy, but it is frustrating when you have a whole lot of things that you cant use and a whole lot of things on a registry that you CAN use.  while, you will have to buy stuff (of course), im simply venting that it would make things a whole lot easier on DH and i if we didnt have to buy SO MUCH.  i will also stick with the definition that a registry= things that we need for baby 

mrscrowell5308

****When people don't buy off the registry, it strikes me as them saying "I don't really care what you need, I'm going to buy you what I like and what I think is cute," particularly with baby showers.

- Thank you.  my point exactly. 

 

FinallyThatGirl

good luck returning clothes... BRU wanted to give us less than a dollar for almost every item. Thankfully most people bought off the registry. People who dont know us well bought what they wanted and I will either re-gift it, return it or use it depending. you cant expect much from friends or co-workers. we got most of our bigger items and registry items from family and family friends.

 dont get me wrong it annoys the crap out of me too when people buy random stuff but... i always buy one item or two off the registry depending on $ and then one unique thing they didnt register for. thats just my style.

HopingForOne

I agree that it is NOT mandatory to buy off a registry.

And these people did not ASK what you wanted....they were told, on an invitation, where you were registered.  For some people, some social circles, it is just not seen as a big deal to not buy from a registry.  My mom has a few friends like this - they just never buy from registires.  I don't think that they even consider this as rude.  And I've been fine with it.

 I also, personally, think it's a bit rude to return clothes people bought you just people you don't want them...but that's just a personal opinion that many people don't seem to agree with.  I believe that you should appreciate every gift given to you.

HopingForOne

P.S. I do, however, think it's very odd to buy disposable diapers for someone intending to cloth diaper, or vice versa.  Or, say, buying a breast pump for someone intending to formula feed.  For some reason, those come across as "judgements" to me, like you don't agree with the morals behind their choice or something...

Eternity Together

I want to know the same thing........

i had 2 registeries. One at target and one at BRU. and only one thing was bought off of the 2. Everything else we received where clothes. I am grateful for the clothes, and will have to change my baby boy every 3 hours to have him wear all the clothes. But, my husband is a full time pharmacy student. So, the things we buy that we need are just on student loans. On the registeries i didn't put any nice to haves either. I put must have's, like bottles and etc... Nope... Only clothes. This is now a very sore subject with me.

rrodgers803

amennnn to this!!! omg at my shower saturday we got maybe five things off the registry. and not really that many clothes, people know i'm extremly picky when it comes to this childs clothes, but they got things like recieving blankets, and frilly socks, yes thank you for getting something but i wouldn't have made a registry if i didn't need the things on it! grr

emclarenicks

Why don't people buy off the registry?  I'm not really so sure about this either.  I remember from my wedding, we got really odd gifts, but these gals are right, people just get excited about buying baby stuff.  However, I totally disagree that if you don't like something you don't have the right to take it back if you can (with a few exceptions, handmade gifts, outfits, etc)  If I don't like something, I don't feel I'm obligated to dress my child in an outfit I think is hideous....again, exception would possibly be something handed down in the family, or something from Grandma or other close family members. 

If people always bought off the registry, I'm sure we'd find something else to bitchhh about. LOL

Eternity Together

And another thing.... Good thing i plan on brestfeeding, since i didn't get any bottles. But it is nice to pump and DH can have a turn to fed the baby or in the middle of the night.

lsufan

Some of the best gifts we received for my first baby were things we did not register for. ?Of course, we got some clothes we were never able to use and a couple of hideous-looking picture frames, but for the most part I really appreciated the off-registry gifts-- most of which took more thought and were more personal than the random things we needed and had put on the registry. ?I figured it was our job to supply the things we needed, and if someone wanted to go to the trouble to buy us a gift, it should be something they felt good about giving and not a baby bathtub just because it was the only thing left on the registry in their price range.

CalinsBride

Eternity Together:

I want to know the same thing........

i had 2 registeries. One at target and one at BRU. and only one thing was bought off of the 2. Everything else we received where clothes. I am grateful for the clothes, and will have to change my baby boy every 3 hours to have him wear all the clothes. But, my husband is a full time pharmacy student. So, the things we buy that we need are just on student loans. On the registeries i didn't put any nice to haves either. I put must have's, like bottles and etc... Nope... Only clothes. This is now a very sore subject with me.

I totally understand where you're coming from with that. Of COURSE we have to plan to buy everything ourselves, and we have planned for it, but it just irritates me when people don't care about helping you and just want to buy what they think is cute. Thankfully we got a LOT of cash, which is better than random crap that wasn't on the registry and can't be returned, so we will have some extra help in that department.

rrodgers803

Krisito:

When people don't buy off the registry, it strikes me as them saying "I don't really care what you need, I'm going to buy you what I like and what I think is cute," particularly with baby showers.

yeah, and that really erks me

and i even tried to put cute things on the registry i thought people might want to buy

erino&chrish

ForForever:

Mrs.C042807:

Registry=suggestions, not mandatory gifts

Yes. This. 

Just be happy they care enough to buy something - even if it's not what you picked out for them to buy you. People love to buy baby clothes for showers because they are cute.

Ditto.  Honestly, I know you're just venting, but your post sounds really bratty.

HopingForOne

Keep in mind, also, that baby registries are a newer concept than even bridal registires...some people find them "off-putting", some find them needless (I used to be one of those people), and others just might honestly not understand how many things you need for a baby, so they don't even bother looking at the registry because they don't think it's a big deal.

renebean319

erino&chrish:

ForForever:

Mrs.C042807:

Registry=suggestions, not mandatory gifts

Yes. This. 

Just be happy they care enough to buy something - even if it's not what you picked out for them to buy you. People love to buy baby clothes for showers because they are cute.

Ditto.  Honestly, I know you're just venting, but your post sounds really bratty.

i'm going to have to agree with this.

you're lucky people even bought your child a gift.

if you were my coworker and i knew you felt this way BEFORE the office shower, i wouldn't participate.

be grateful for what you get.

rebus82

I think the simplest answer is that people don't want to buy useful stuff, they want to buy cute shiit. The problem is, very rarely, do the giver and receiver have the same tastes. Or, more problematic, how often givers don't use their brains and buy stuff in the wrong size for the seasons. Nothing worse than getting stuff you can't use, even if you like it, but not having the ability to return/exchange it because the giver removed the tags because they don't think you should return it. Not liking something is not the only reason returns are made.?

My personal frustration is when people buy useless crap. At least blankets or clothes can be useful, knick-knacks are just dust collectors. I anticipate at least a few WTF gifts from my family, which will just end up in a box, or the donation bin at Goodwill. I hate seeing people waste money, which is exactly what they're doing when they randomly pick up something "cute" off the shelf without thinking it through. ?

?

mrscrowell5308

i honestly dont think it sounds bratty in the least bit.  i never said i was ungrateful. in fact i made a specific point in saying that i know its the thought that counts, however, it can still be frustrating.  when it was put on the invitation the the baby did not need anymore clothes and my registry if FULL of things (small items included, bc actually almost all but 1 big item has been bought) then i feel in some sort of way that it didnt matter what i needed.  i dont live in some huge town wheere its really difficlut to get to target.  we have 2 of them.  and yes, i do agree that some off registry gifts are great- ive gotten some of those, but when you specifically ask for no clothes and people get them anywyas, it is partially rude.  babies can always use clothes, but we also need breatfeeding items, diapers, health care items, crib sheets, bassinett sheets, etc.  again, its great that people want to come and be with you during a special time and get you something. its just that all i was saying was that i wish people would think about it a little more bc it isnt like buying a birthday/Christmas present.  we are bringing a CHILD into the world and there are many things that are needed for that, not just cute clothes (they are great and they are needed, jsut not 200 outfits).  thats all, its not a matter of being an ungrateful brat, its a matter of why cant people simply just buy what you need.  thats what registry is for. to communicate your needs.

mrscrowell5308

thank you.

mrscrowell5308

never said i was ungrateful, again.  and nobody has to come to a baby shower, not mandatory at all.  theres no need to be rude.  and maybe you just dont understand bc you got everything you needed.  and dont get me wrong, i have gotten great stuff.  but when i cant use it or return it, its useless.  and thats frusterating bc someone spent money and time buying something that was useless and i feel bad. thats why you have registry, to help them understand what is needed.  i am grateful for all my gifts and all ofhte people who took time to buy them and come, but sometimes, i wish people would just think about it a little bit.  however, we live in a world of different people and not everyone thinks the same way and its alright. it was just a vent.  there is not need to be rude.

SpartyGirl

to answer your question, because people are stupid.

we got a ton of clothes too & we don't even know the sex.  i feel your frustration.  hopefully they at least gave u gift receipts!

HockeyWife4Life

I have always planned on buying everything ourselves.  I just look at my showers as "icing on the cake".  I think it is generous of people to give us anything at all! 

Caroline&Stephen

We don't know the sex so this stopped people from buying clothes...Infact we got everything off our registry that we really needed.  I think we had to buy only a handful of small items.

Not everyone buys off the registry...especially older people.  Most people buy from the heart.  They buy stuff that they think you will like whether you need it or not.  A gift is a gift & you can't expect people to buy off the registry.

Chrysallys

Krisito:

When people don't buy off the registry, it strikes me as them saying "I don't really care what you need, I'm going to buy you what I like and what I think is cute," particularly with baby showers.

This exactly.

My cousins were asking my mom where I was registered so she told them. My aunt's response, "Oh I don't do registries. I'll get her what I want" So I have a heads up that I'll get some horrible crap that I don't want or need because that's how my aunt rolls.

HopingForOne

If you actually put on the invitation "don't buy clothes", then I'm sorry, but I think YOU are the one who was rude.  And honestly, people might have just forgotten.  Or, maybe they had already bought clothes for your baby before they even got the invitation in the mail.  I know that happened with some people at my shower. 

For the record, I do NOT think that you sound as bratty as some people who have posted about the same topic.  At least you are acknowledging the "thought that counts" mindset.  I just don't quite understand when anyone complains about any gift.  I don't think I've ever returned anything in my life, unless it was a piece of clothing to exchange for the same item in another size.

mrscrowell5308

well, i didnt put on there "dont by clothes". the girls at my work that threw the shower knew how much clothes i had gotten at my "out of work" shower.  so thye did use some tact and kindly put that "Baby Brooklyn no longer needs any clothes at this time."  that is very nice and i dont see a problem with it at all. And i guarantee know one had bought anything for hte shower until after the invitation came out bc they either didnt know when it was or even if there was one.  anyways, its not a big deal.  im grateful for the gifts, its just frustrating when you cant use it and you feel like people totally disregarded what you might actually need.  thats all. a gift is a gift and thats thoughtful.

HopingForOne

One other thing to consider: although this probably wouldn't be a factor for many of your guests, but possibly one or two: when you buy from the registry, that person knows EXACTLY how much money you spent on them.  So, let's say you can't afford what you feel is a "reasonable" amount for the shower gift.  You might avoid the registry because you are ashamed of the mother-to-be thinking that you are "cheap".

I am going to a wedding this weekend, and I can't afford to spend what I normally would on a wedding gift.  I almost decided against buying from the registry for this reason.  Luckily, I found a larger item on a good sale.  But still, in these tough economic times, it's something to consider.

F&G777

I got all clothes at my work shower (except for a few things) but I expected that...at my regular shower MOST of the things I got were from my registry - I LOVE it when people stick to the registry....that's why your register!!