Step - mom vent (kinda long)

jenn_a_bee

Seriously, DH and I found out what we are having last Wednesday, we waited until Friday to start telling people because DH was away for work and he didn?t even know until Friday.

Anyways, on Friday I tried to call my dad (my mom passed away almost 8 years ago) to share our news with him and wasn?t able to get a hold of him until yesterday. Then when I finally talk to him, he tells me that he and my step mom are disappointed in my behavior and have been since NOVEMBER, when we told them I was pregnant,  (When we told them, I found a cute marry x-mas grandpa card that we gave them) basically because my step mom (who he has only been married to for 4 years and I never lived with) was mad because she felt like I was slapping her in the face telling her that I didn?t want her to be apart of this baby?s life.

Then they go on to tell me that I apparently put a ?gag? order on them telling them that they couldn?t talk about me or ask me any questions, so they totally feel like they had been left off of this pregnancy ~ they even went so far as telling me because they don?t know what is going on that it is hard to even care about me or this baby. Which really pissed me off, because sure I don?t tell them every time I go to the doctor?s or whatever, but they know when I was having my ultrasounds, etc, and I call when we have big news like finding out what the baby is? Plus they are also adults and can call if they really wanted to know?..

It was so ridiculous, my dad sat on my couch while his wife screamed at me then when I tried to defend my actions to her she stormed out of my house telling me to f?in call her when I grow up, wagging her finger in my face and then slams my front door and they both left. Like seriously, I need to grow up, I?m not the one yelling at a pregnant person, who also has high blood pressure (when not pregnant, and knows it!!!), plus who is the parent and who is the child here?? I?m ready to just write them off all together if they can be mad for 5 months and not even tell me then stress me out and in a sense take away some excitement from this baby just makes me so mad!!!!!

Sorry it?s so long, I just needed to vent, I was hoping I would wake up and maybe forget about it, but I?m still mad ~ and to top it off I?m so hungry but can?t eat because I have my 2 hour glucose tolerance test this morning?.

EastCoastBride

I'm confused.

she felt like I was slapping her in the face telling her that I didn?t want her to be apart of this baby?s life.

Did you tell her you didn't want her to be a part of the baby's life?  If not, then why is she saying that?

Then they go on to tell me that I apparently put a ?gag? order on them telling them that they couldn?t talk about me or ask me any questions, so they totally feel like they had been left off of this pregnancy

And what does that mean? 

panama389

I'm sorry to hear your going through this.  My grandmother used to say "Weddings, Babies & Funerals really bring out the best or worst in people". At this junture in your life, you need to think of the well being of you and your baby especially.  Anything that has potential to hinder your well-being should be eliminated. If your parents can't respect the condition that your in as well as understand this time in your life is NOT about them, then they need to be eliminated until your better able to deal with them. GL

cnchavez69

Oye, that was really rude of both of them.  I hate how people let things bottle up and then explode when they feel the time was right.  That was pretty uncalled for, especially in your home.  At this point I would write them off because obviously they could care less about your feelings.  Sorry you have to go through that!

mrs.serrato85

sorry.. sounds like SM needs to relax a little... or a lot

opallover

I understand where you are coming from -but this has more to do with her insecurity than with you.  you are a reminder that your dad loved another woman before her - she will ALWAYS be second - never the first.  my step-monster is pretty awful [she getting better in her old age] but I've done a lot to help our relationship.  I love my dad and he loves me but he also loves this woman so I really work to try to keep the peace.  I call her, I go out of my way to make sure that she knows I called her first before calling or talking to my dad.  Sure it's doesn't solve ALL the problems but it keeps the peace - kind of.  sometimes she just wants to get all pissy and rude and I ignore it - I've got my own family now.  I have wonderful in-laws and it hurts that my life has to be this way but it is what it is.  I don't have a mom either... but this is the life I have to lead - it's not changing! 

I hope you can just work to ignore it - you have to take care of your baby and yourself!

 

matt&steph

Ok, they need to grow up, not you.  Holding in feelings since November, yelling at you and storming out of your house are all incredibly immature and inappropriate.      

jenn_a_bee

EastCoastBride:

I'm confused.

she felt like I was slapping her in the face telling her that I didn?t want her to be apart of this baby?s life.

Did you tell her you didn't want her to be a part of the baby's life?  If not, then why is she saying that?

Then they go on to tell me that I apparently put a ?gag? order on them telling them that they couldn?t talk about me or ask me any questions, so they totally feel like they had been left off of this pregnancy

And what does that mean? 

jenn_a_bee

EastCoastBride:

I'm confused.

she felt like I was slapping her in the face telling her that I didn?t want her to be apart of this baby?s life.

Did you tell her you didn't want her to be a part of the baby's life?  If not, then why is she saying that?

Then they go on to tell me that I apparently put a ?gag? order on them telling them that they couldn?t talk about me or ask me any questions, so they totally feel like they had been left off of this pregnancy

And what does that mean? 

No, DH and I never told her that we didn't want her to be apart of the baby's life, because I only gave my dad a card, she just felt like we we're telling her we didn't want her involved ~ it is how she took the gesture to be.

I have no idea why she is saying that we told her that she wasn't able to share our news or ask questions, she is making a mole hill into a mountain and creating drama where she can......

jenn_a_bee

opallover:

I understand where you are coming from -but this has more to do with her insecurity than with you.  you are a reminder that your dad loved another woman before her - she will ALWAYS be second - never the first.  my step-monster is pretty awful [she getting better in her old age] but I've done a lot to help our relationship.  I love my dad and he loves me but he also loves this woman so I really work to try to keep the peace.  I call her, I go out of my way to make sure that she knows I called her first before calling or talking to my dad.  Sure it's doesn't solve ALL the problems but it keeps the peace - kind of.  sometimes she just wants to get all pissy and rude and I ignore it - I've got my own family now.  I have wonderful in-laws and it hurts that my life has to be this way but it is what it is.  I don't have a mom either... but this is the life I have to lead - it's not changing! 

I hope you can just work to ignore it - you have to take care of your baby and yourself!

 

Thanks, glad to know that someone eles understands this messy situation! I'm glad you and your dad can talk ~ right now it's hard for me to even see that happening with mine. My SM has him totally where she wants him, where she is right and I'm wrong and it is so sick to watch....I'm hoping closer to my due date that he will come around, but if not, like you I see that we are creating our own family and I have DH's inlaws and extended family and great friends who actually do care about me and this baby!!!