My Progress with the Love Dare...

jodylynn

I think the Love Dare has really opened up my eyes to the way I interact and react in my marriage.  With all the daily stresses that we both deal with during the day we disconnect from each other and since we always think our spouses will be there no matter what we take out everything on them.  I have bit my tongue several times since this all started.  Have I been perfect? NO way!  But EVERY time I have said something I shouldnt or reacted in a way I shouldnt have I have thought AFTER how I could have handled it differently.  Before this it would have never crossed my mind.  I am becoming more tolerant, less judgemental, and more open to communicating in an effective way versus a toxic way.  I'm sure we will all hit good and bad days during these 40 days but I think in the long run it is going to do a lot for me and my marriage.

What about you guys?  Has everyone experienced at least one positive change in their marriage or spouse by the way you have modified your behavior?  Have you learned anything about yourself?

MrsL1022

I definitely have seen a positive change, today I had a set back, but over all I have been much more conscious of how I react to things and what I say. It has also opened my eyes to the fact that dh needs a little bit of this stuff to enter into his consciousness b/c he flys off the handle easily, see this morning's events below. I have definitely made a more concerted effort, which I think had helped difuse stupid situations that in the past would have blown up out of nothing.

 

P.S. Through all of his ranting this morning I said nothing, I just got up and left the room. I definitely felt like I wanted to explode but I didn't do it in front of or to him.

slwprincess

I have to say, I have been shocked at how much this challenge has reduced my stress level!  Since I have been making a concious effort to avoid the negativity and do small gestures for DH, he has returned each of them whole heartedly.  A week ago, today's challenge would have seemed impossible to me.  I am the queen of hot tempers and snippiness.  As I've said before, I say what I feel when I feel it and just move on- it's not always pretty, but it's not bottled up either.  However, I've found in the last few days that I am just not feeling the urge to snap as often as I was.  I did lose my temper the other night out of exhaustion when Gavin was sick and wouldn't sleep.  But I actually stopped myself in the middle of of my rant and said to DH- "I'm sorry, this is not how I want to react to this.  Can I have a do-over?"  And you know what, he totally stepped in and handled the situation- took Gavin from my arms and turned on Yo Gabba Gabba and we all slept on the sofa.  What a lesson for me!  Sometimes he just needs to know that I'm feeling overwhelmed and then he will rush in and save the day!

jodylynn

Stacie - that story made me smile.  I think everyone is doing so good!

mrs_ross07

jodylynn:

I think the Love Dare has really opened up my eyes to the way I interact and react in my marriage.  With all the daily stresses that we both deal with during the day we disconnect from each other and since we always think our spouses will be there no matter what we take out everything on them.  I have bit my tongue several times since this all started.  Have I been perfect? NO way!  But EVERY time I have said something I shouldnt or reacted in a way I shouldnt have I have thought AFTER how I could have handled it differently.  Before this it would have never crossed my mind.  I am becoming more tolerant, less judgemental, and more open to communicating in an effective way versus a toxic way.  I'm sure we will all hit good and bad days during these 40 days but I think in the long run it is going to do a lot for me and my marriage.

What about you guys?  Has everyone experienced at least one positive change in their marriage or spouse by the way you have modified your behavior?  Have you learned anything about yourself?

 

I agree with you there. If one of us has a short fuse, it's more me (I hate to admit it too). DH even noticed that I've been nicer and in return, he's so much nicer (not that he was a jerk...) I've never been one to bite my tongue, but I'm learning. 

Bradbride

This has been really helpful to me.  I do all Brads secretarial work for his business.  Often when we are working we end up snipping and butting heads.  Its been so pleasent this week as I have held my tounge and he has in return.  Makes for a much less stressful evening.