~~LOVE DARE - DARE # 2~~

jodylynn

Love is Kind

In addition to saying nothing negative to your spouse again today, do at least one unexpected gesture as an act of kindness.

jodylynn

"It is difficult to demonstrate love when you feel little to no motivation.  But love in its truest sense is not based on feelings.  Rather, love determines to show thoughtful actions even when there seems to be no reward.  you will never learn to love until you learn to demonstrate kindness."

"Wasn't kindness one of the key things that drew you and your spouse together in the first place?  When you married, werent you expecting to enjoy his or her kindness for the rest of yoru life?  Didnt your mate feel the same way about you?  Even though the years can take the edge off that desire, your enjoyment in marriage is still linked to the daily level of kindness expressed."

 

MrsBrandiGreene

Merci my friend

missmlp

Okay I have completed my task already!  I told that he should host a Final Four Championship Party (UNC Baby) at our home for him and a couple of friends and I'll throw together some appetizers.  He was caught totally off guard and was like yeah that's a good idea.  This is also good for me that way DH will be home with Connor and I while still enjoying the game. 

BTW I think you new side job should be marriage couseling (lol)!

slwprincess

OK, I think I can do this one.  I did pretty well yesterday... the only time I caught myself saying something negative was when I told him he was gross for farting in the car.  Although, I don't think that should be held against me... it WAS gross- I just told him the truth.

noyoucomehere

Thanks, Jody! I must say I did really well yesterday. I think we had 4 or 5 phone conversations all about the remodel which never ends well. Every single conversation stayed positive and it felt SO good b/c that was long past due. I love you for doing this! Now, to figure out an act of kindness long distance. Hmmmm....

jodylynn

I did really good yesterday too on the phone and in person before he left for work   I didnt really have to try hard yesterday. 

Anyone have to bite their tongue really hard yesterday? Any good stories to share?

mrs_ross07

well, I didn't say anything negative yesterday so that's good. Now I have to come up with an act of kindness. I think that by me doing everything around here that I'm being kind.  I'll think of something...

jodylynn

Now Now Julie - no keeping score!  That is my biggest problem.  I think that if I do more that makes me a better partner.  Then I ask myself how that is working out for me (a la doctor phil style) and its not!  Remember this is doing something UNEXPECTED not your normal daily routine

mrs_ross07

jodylynn:

Now Now Julie - no keeping score!  That is my biggest problem.  I think that if I do more that makes me a better partner.  Then I ask myself how that is working out for me (a la doctor phil style) and its not!  Remember this is doing something UNEXPECTED not your normal daily routine

 

LOL. I know, I know...unexpected. hmmmm. I'm really going to have to think on this.

noyoucomehere

Yesterday, my MIL told Shahed the status on all of the remodel stuff that the contractor is doing. She told him that they left the hole in the floor where the toilet was open (meaning they didn't plug it back up with a towel to prevent sewer gases from escaping into the house). He made her get off the phone with him ASAP and go plug them and told her that those sewer gases could kill everyone in the house. He scared the crap out of her and then she had to rant forever about how careless and contractor is. There's a lot of hysteria between the two of them and it causes a lot of tension in my house b/c I'm just way more relaxed than they are. My immediate reaction if he were here and saying these things to me would have been a HUGE eyeroll, a huff and a puff, and some sort of comment like "well, if you think we're all going to DIE go save us and stuff a towel down there." BUT, when my MIL told me about their conversation, I totally refrained from all of the above, asked the contractor about why it wasn't done and called Shahed to tell him the reasoning behind it and that it in fact was not a danger to anyone. He actually sent me an email later saying thank you for getting more information. That was nice of him b/c he never says thank you to me. Hmph, sorry that was so long.

KT&John

Yesterday went well for me too. I did mess up once in the morning, but that was before I read the Love Dare post so I'm giving myself a pass on that one

I did have to bite my tongue once last night. Lately the cause of most of our tensions in the evening is DH hanging on me, getting in my face, and generally being 6th-grade-boy style annoying after C goes to bed. Which is usually followed by an outburst from me telling him to buzz off until I recharge from the day a bit. He did it again last night while I was trying to eat dinner. Thanks to the Love Dare I kept my cool, told myself, "he just wants my attention," and focused on him for a few minutes instead of the food I desperately wanted to eat, and you know what?..the rest of the night went beautifully ..YAY!

So now to think of RAK for today..I'm excited!

Thanks for challenging us to do this Jody

MrsKLB

I did well with my task yesterday.  I'll have to think of an unexpected gesture to do today... can't wait to hear what everyone else does!

jodylynn

Kim - look at you - you already inspired a change in your spouse!  Its amazing how that works!

tracigator

I did really well yesterday, didn't even have to bite my tongue which I was doing by the handful the day before.

I actually do unexpected things for him every so often like get him a card for no reason or bake brownies for him just because I know he likes it.  I have to think of something that I haven't done before for today since I did brownies for him a few weeks ago and he's the one who got me a card for no reason yesterday.  

hthomas02

while I've been working on not saying negative things to Todd anymore, basically since Finn started talking and understanding what we're saying (ha!), I still have to bite my tongue every now and then, but I just keep trying to remind myself "this is nothing/stupid/not worth it".  But yesterday I had an event last night and Todd didn't leave work early enough and he called me when he left and I KNEW he was going to be late which meant I would be late and instead of yelling at him or saying something about it I just told him to drive safely.  I'd like to say the night went smoothly but I don't know since I ran out the door as soon as he stepped foot on the front porch, ha!  but I felt better for not getting all huffy about it and just letting it roll off my back.  now a RAK for today is going to be tough since I have another event tonight, but I think michelle gave me an idea about the bball tourney, so thank you!

JoJoEspana

Done!  I made DH breakfast while he was in the shower this morning.  Now I can be mean again, hahahahaha

JoJoEspana

Jody, keeping score is my biggest problem too.  And it never fails... anytime we argue I always bring it up that I do almost everything around the house.  I've really been working hard not to do that anymore.  We agreed when we decided that I'd stay home that I'd be in charge of the household, so I really shouldn't complain because I can't have it both ways.  Thanks for doing this!

Daisy22

Yes went well considing dh didn't get home until 8pm. I did bite my tongue b/c I was starving and being on bedrest I can't make my own dinner.

Today will be harder b/c I can't move from the couch. I'm already writing him a letter as my anniversary card to him on sunday so that's out. I'm thinking I might order him a starbucks card online. I don't know if anyone else has read Love Languages but we did this a few years back. I highly recommend it to anyone that is married. It's helped us so much knowing what the other person needs to feel loved in our relationship. Dh's love language is gifts so I know he feels his best when I give him things. Mine is words of affirmation which dh is very good about doing with me. Ok going to figure out what to do.

Bradbride

Jody~ Thanks so much for being our love guru!

 I did well yesterday and we had a great evening.  It really wasn't hard to not be negative.  I found myself being even sweeter though just to make sure I did not slip up.  Must be doing something right because Brad even put the toilet seat down for me last night.

Blnd117

i love this, i am definitely going to do these dares. DH and i have been having some issues lately and are trying to work on making our relationship stronger, but this dare is great, i am in!

MrsL1022

I did my deed for today while dh was getting ready to leave. He is on a lot of meds for bronchitis and needs to eat before taking them so I made him breakfast this morning so that he;d have a full stomach for the pills and so that he'd get out the door on time.

Yesterday I did really well b/c I made dinner and it was piping hot ready to go he said he'd be right there, he says that EVERY night. The man almost waits for dinner to be cold and it irks the pi$$ out of me. So instead of getting majorly pissy with him about coming to the table when dinner hits the table. I just covered our dinners in tin foil went into the tv and asked him to please come eat.

Janimal

I'm OOT on business.  I will be home late and DH goes OOT tomorrow.  Hmmm..what can I do between 9:30pm and 6:30am.  Oh, I know.....<blush>

Kerrin

did it.  Told DH that he could do soem research on purchasing a boat.  I've been saying no for years - so this is most definitley an unexpected gesture of kindness.

rara855

I have to say this one is pretty easy for us. B is super sweet and thoughtful, he is always surprising me with hidden notes and cards. It encourages me to go out of my way for him too.?

BUt, in honor of dare 2. Jackson and I went and surprised him at work and brought him a planet smoothie. He said it was just what he needed and has called me twice to say he can't wait to get home. I've got the warm funnies.

Thanks Jody for doing this, What a great thing for us to do.?

mrs_ross07

I made him a mushy card to tell him how proud I am of him. He definitely won't be expecting it. It totally looks like a five year old made it though. Paper hearts and glue. LOL

Bradbride

I grabbed his broken watch this AM when I read this.  Took it to get a new band during Friday rush hour traffic on my way home.  He is so excited.  My IRL friend is doing this too.  She got her hubby a nice bottle of sctoch.  I told her that could make #1 tough later this evening. 

MSquires100

Yesterday went really well - however it probably helped that we were both headed out of town.  However, I did have to be good when I had to gently remind him (again) to call StateFarm for a bill that is due on the 5th.  But I was very nice in my reminder - no negative nagging.  I'll have to think of something for tonight, he doesn't get back until after 9 pm tonight - but I'm sure I can think of something sweet to do!