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1st Trimester
Broken Heart: Vent
Oh ladies, it's not been a good day today. If you've been reading any of my posts you've probably heard that I had been dreading telling my 5 oldest sisters about the pregnancy. I joke about them being the "council of the eldest," but honestly it's no laughing matter for me. Everything I've done has been picked apart by them and often times has not gotten their approval. I've struggled my whole life with not letting this bother me. And let me clarify, I'm not necessarily looking for their approval, I just want them to be happy for me for once. I'm so tired of my joys (marriage, college, children) being met with doubt, skepticism, worry, fear, and now anger. Can you believe it?! They're angry that me an 24 year old married woman is pregnant!!! I'm just absolutely heartbroken. How could my sisters who I love so much hurt me like this? How disappointing. I've just been sitting at my work desk all afternoon bawling. It sucks! I got pissed and told them to all back the h*ll off, so hopefully this will be the worst of it and they can actually get over themselves long enough to be happy for me and my husband!
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Re: Broken Heart: Vent
I'm so sorry
It's so hard for me to picture your sisters, who are supposed to be your best friends, reacting this way.
Have you let them know how much it hurts you??
I'm sorry they are being this way. Have you told them how you feel? I was 24 when I got pregnant with my first and I had some people tell me I was too young. The worst was when one of my aunts (who incidentally my mom despised) told me that my mom (who passed when I was 19) would be angry with me for "wasting my youth on a child". Its so hard to hear things like that.
**big hugs** to you. You know what's best and I'm sure there are a lot of other people in your life that will behappy for you.
Annelise 3.22.2007 Norah 10.24.2009 Amelia 8.7.2011
Well, what did they say?
That is so mean not to express happiness for you.
I'm sorry!
In my bag: Canon 60D, 50mm 1.4, Tamron 28-75 2.8, 430exii
I am sorry they are being like that, but as long as you and your husband are happy about it, that is all that matters in the world! And we are all happy for you if that matters any!
Maybe you should mention to them that if they don't approve then they won't be seeing the baby...I bet they'll shape up quick after that!
family : the ties that bind and gag us.
Hang in there. Be happy for yourself and dont' you worry.. by the time your baby finally arrives, I'm sure they'll have a change of heart.
I just want to say congrats to you and your hubby!! There is no reason for anyone to be mad!! And I bet when the baby gets here they are going to love him or her to pieces!! You just stay positive and happy!
my twin sister isn't speaking to me b/c i didn't tell her as soon as i knew. and that i told her in an email. (okay, maybe not the best move on my part, but i was being a chicken and dreading the lecture).
she then has said some really ugly things to me (what an awful mistake i'm making, i don't know what i'm doing, i'll end up fat broke and divorced, etc.). so really, i don't care if she wants to talk to me, b/c i really don't wanna talk to her. i said IN my original email that we just need our friends & family to be supportive & if not you can f off.
i'm freaking almost 30, married for almost 3 yrs & god forbid, pregnant.
i hear ya. it sux, i know.
when my 28 year old, divorced, recently claimed bankruptcy, lives with my parents sister told me that she was pregnant by a 32 year old loser heroin addict, i was happy.
i wanted SO bad to be angry, but i couldnt. a baby is an honest miracle.
unfortunately she lost the baby at 23 weeks (water broke at 18 weeks) and i found out i was pregnant the next day.
i waited a week and told my parents, they said to tell her because they thought it would lift her spirits, which it did. i was SO scared to tell her, but she was so happy. that was about 6 weeks ago.
shes still struggling with the loss of the baby and boyfriend (he moved away to rehab, YAY) and now i cant even talk to her about being pregnant or she just gets REALLY rude.
also, my parents are all scared to hurt my sisters feeling, so they never talk to me about being pregnant or show any excitement.
this is sad to me because ive been waiting to have a baby for 31 years! this will be their first grandchild too. this was not the way i pictured this.
so all im saying is. i know how it feels to have a sister thats not happy for you
just be happy for you! thats what ive been doing.
I know what you mean when you said that you've been dreading telling your sisters. I was 8 weeks pregnant before I told my sisters. I didn't want the lecture either. When I told my oldest sister she was in shock and more disapointed that I didn't tell her right away. I was really dreading telling my little sister since she doesn't have any babies yet (she's 20 and just married, but still in school). I knew she would be jealous. So, when I told her she called me a "Fluzy and can't I keep my legs closed'? Awwww.......I should have smacked her, but I refrained myself somehow. I mean come on! I'm 27 married for 6 years with 2 other kids too. I was so hurt by her response. She appologized soon after the comment, and "SAYS"
I know what you mean when you said that you've been dreading telling your sisters. I was 8 weeks pregnant before I told my sisters. I didn't want the lecture either. When I told my oldest sister she was in shock and more disapointed that I didn't tell her right away. I was really dreading telling my little sister since she doesn't have any babies yet (she's 20 and just married, but still in school). I knew she would be jealous. So, when I told her she called me a "Fluzy and can't I keep my legs closed'? Awwww.......I should have smacked her, but I refrained myself somehow. I mean come on! I'm 27 married for 6 years with 2 other kids too. I was so hurt by her response. She appologized soon after the comment, and "SAYS" that she's not jealous at all. Anyway, I know what it's like to be hurt my your sisters, and in the end you just have to ignore them and be happy for yourself. You have a beautiful miracle inside you and that's all that matters. Good luck with the family!
That sucks how your sisters are being. I hope once they get over whatever it is they are dealing with right now they can support you through the rest of the time. In the meantime, enjoy the people who are happy for you and talk to them about it more than your sisters. You do not need negative people around you right now with everything else going on.
We are all happy for you!!!!!!!
You ladies are so awesome! Thank you so much! You make me cry...but I guess everything does that nowadays.
I did tell them that until they want to share in my joy I don't want them in my life. Fact of the matter is that our in laws and my parents are very supportive and excited, as well as my younger siblings, friends, and church family and quite frankly I don't need them or their advice.
I'm feeling much better now. More impowered and less stressed and sad. Really I'm almost more sad for them now. The fact that they can't get over themselves long enough to be happy for one of their sisters, that's just pathetic quite frankly.
Sorry to all of you who are experiencing similar situations and thank you all again for your words of encouragement. Very, very helpful.