TTC After a Loss

cried at the optometrist

So I went in to get new contacts and there was a blank on the form for "recent surgery" which of course set me off and I started crying like an idiot in the middle of the optometrist's office. I didn't even make it to my appointment because I started hyperventilating and totally losing it.?

Goodie, another thing to discuss at therapy tomorrow.

I also got a call from an old friend who, after asking how I was doing and hearing my honest response of "well, somewhere between s&*tty and poo" tried to get off the phone as fast as she could. Goodie.

Poor Mr. Super, it's been a long, long few months and I still can't see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I did find some words that really echo how I feel.

?For the thing which I greatly feared is come upon me, and that which I was afraid of is come unto me.?I was not in safety, neither had I rest, neither was I quiet; yet trouble came.?

oh please. not KU. effed up.

Re: cried at the optometrist

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    I'm sorry sweetie!  Its a long journey, but I know you can do it.  I started therapy in january after my m/c in november.  It was the best move I ever made, and helped me so much.  Just having a third party to talk to really helped, I hope its working well for you too.

    She also recommended for me to write in a journal at the end of each day on what I was feeling, what happened that day, ect.  That helped a ton, and I still do it.  If something was happing and I felt like I wanted to break down and cry and I would think "Ok, remember this later, I'll write it down then and deal with it then,"  That helped a ton, and I had alot let 'meltdowns'.  Noone has to ever read your journal- my therapist never wanted to see it, I told DH if he read it I would never have sex with him again (he's never even looked at the cover).  Just something to think about.

    I hope you have a better day tomorrow, we are all here for you, and if you ever wanna talk about therapy you can PM me.  ((BIG HUGS))

    ***** TTCAL/Forever Buddy to Cour10e******
    -m/c at 11w2d due to partial molar 2008 -m/c #2 2009
    Beautiful daughter born February 2011
    **Ultimate TTCALer 2009**

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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    oh sweets, I'm sorry you are having this kind of day. let it out. you need to. we all need to.
    m/c#1 07/16/08 (11 weeks), m/c#2 10/10/08 (8 weeks). and then nothing since except every test possible (no answers). IUI#1 and #2: BFNs Super lucky to be buddies with Peetie. Our out of nowhere, surprise DD born 5/29/2011
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    Oh no, I'm so sorry you had such a rough time! I was just trying to explain to a coworker today how I just never know what will set me off lately.  I'm sure you were unprepared for that since it was just an eye appt. 

    When did you start seeing a therapist?  DH and I have gone to a few group loss things, but I'm pretty sure I need to start going to a therapist for more one on one sessions.  

    I know it sucks to lose control like that out in public, but it does help sometimes to let it all out.  I went to the cemetary today to visit Sophia and just wailed for awhile.  I'm sure I looked like a nutjob to anyone who heard/saw, but I really felt a better afterwards.

    You should let me know if you get a free weekend and we can meet up somewhere.  


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    I've actually been seeing a therapist since before the loss but I can't even tell ya'll how helpful it has been. I would?recommend?that anyone who is having an especially rough time look into it.?

    I know that my situation is a little different than others because I had some depression/anxiety issues long before my ectopic and this just triggered them a little higher than usual. I actually had just really stabilized when all of this happened and I'm just going through a little turbulence for a bit. I know it will settle back down but it's a rough street right now.

    I think it was so jarring because I just wasn't expecting it. I didn't think about the eye doctor caring about surgeries and then the receptionist asked me if I had kids. I'll just be better prepared for my next appointment. ?

    oh please. not KU. effed up.
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    Aw, I'm so sorry :(  (hugs)
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