Co-worker mc? (Warning, ticker inside) — The Bump
Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

Co-worker mc? (Warning, ticker inside)

A coworker mc yesterday, and although we are not very close, I wanted to show her I am thinking of her. If I put a small plant or some flowers on her desk, would that be too intrusive? Thx everyone, and I am sorry for your losses. No one should have to endure this.

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Re: Co-worker mc? (Warning, ticker inside)

  • you will probably get more responses on TTC after a loss.

    I think a plant or flowers would be nice.  However she might start crying when she sees them- since it is a reminder of her loss.  Would it be possiable to have them delivered to her house instead?

    ***** TTCAL/Forever Buddy to Cour10e******
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  • from my personal experience I had a really hard time with plants and flowers after our loss.  I felt horrible when my plants died.  I'm so bad with plants and it is and when they did I felt so bad.  A friend and I were talking about how nice it would have been to get a gift card for a manicure or something that we could do for ourself once we started feeling better.

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  • I agree with MrsEmma about delivering something to her home address instead of in her office as it will likely cause her to breakdown when she sees it. 

    Even a card that says that you are thinking about her and that you are very sorry for her loss would be very nice.  One of my favorite gifts that I received after my first m/c was a gift card to Barnes and Nobles and I bought a Bible and a fertility book.  For me, I wanted to read everything that I could in order to understand my body more etc. and I needed the Bible for obvious reasons ;-) 

    Anyways, you are very thoughtful.  A simple "I am sorry for your loss" goes a long way.  No explanations, no "at least you know you can get pregnant" comments, no uncomfortable silences when she tries to open up about it.  Acknowledge her pain and her loss--which is what you are doing. Thank you! 

     

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    9 angels in heaven-3 in my arms and 1 in the NICU                                                                                                                                    
    Mono/di twin girls: Josephine born to heaven and Evangeline born Earthside at 25w

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  • I agree w/pp. ?A thoughtful card acknowledging her loss would likely be welcomed and appreciated. ?
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  • I had several people from work send me flowers... and one give us a gift certificate for dinner so DH and I didnt need to cook.  It was very much appreciated:)
    Parenting After Loss - a journey well worth it...
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  • I was given cards, meals, and flowers. All of them were very appreciated. I had very small flowers on my desk that actually made me happy because they made me think of spring
  • I think that is a really sweet idea! After my M/C I constantly checked the mail, my phone etc. to see if anyone had sent anything encouraging. I was desperate for people to acknowledge my loss and show they care through any kind of encouragement. My grandpa died 12 days after I found out about my M/C and my mom put a baby rosebud in her flower arrangement for his funeral to represent his great grandchild that was lost. She later gave it to me and I have dried it and saved it in the baby's memory box. Plants are neat too, because it is a reminder that there is still hope for life. You are a really sweet friend to try and do something for her.
  • image Hesed139:
    I think that is a really sweet idea! After my M/C I constantly checked the mail, my phone etc. to see if anyone had sent anything encouraging. I was desperate for people to acknowledge my loss and show they care through any kind of encouragement. My grandpa died 12 days after I found out about my M/C and my mom put a baby rosebud in her flower arrangement for his funeral to represent his great grandchild that was lost. She later gave it to me and I have dried it and saved it in the baby's memory box. Plants are neat too, because it is a reminder that there is still hope for life. You are a really sweet friend to try and do something for her.

     

    How thoughtful.  My MIL sent flowers and my DH put the ultrasound picture in the flowers - which made me cry.  No one at work really knew, but I told a few close co-workers.  One put a single gerber daisy in my office which was a suprise the next day.  Anything you think is appropriate will probably be just fine.

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  • Any acknowlegement is greatly welcomed I am sure.  I was like pp and was checking for people to let me know they were thinking about me.  It helped me to know we weren't alone.  Its hard for some people b/c it brings up their own situation and of course the people who don't understand.  But just saying you are sorry for the loss goes a long way
  • A card would be nice and a gift certificate for food or something like that.  You just want to curl up into a ball and hide when it happens -- so food prep is one of the last things on your mind.
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  • I received a plant and flowers. I greatly appreciated both.

    In fact, I liked the plant best.  Every time I see it it makes me think of my co-workers who cared so much they sent it.

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