Interesting article — The Bump
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Interesting article

I thought this was very interesting, and what I've been saying all along!  I agree 100%.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/29959807

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Re: Interesting article

  • The key to that article is "if you can fight fair" I'm not sure I know too many couples that can fight fair.. I know we don't haha!

  • I think this falls into the category of "duh!"

    Arguing over the best way to get from point a to point b = Yes

    Punching your wife in the face because she disagrees with your decision = No

     

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  • imagemarryingacoach:

    The key to that article is "if you can fight fair" ...

    Exactly

  • Obviously.  And the article talks about "constructive conflict" being what's good. 

    I just found it interesting b/c in DH's family you do not fight, argue, or disagree in front of the kids.  And I think that has lead to some very unhealthy expectations and heartbreak for some of his family, who had the belief that their parents/grandparents marriage was perfect and without conflict. 

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  • Interesting about your inlaws.. Communication skills is one of the many things I hope ds learns. Both of our families have terrible communication skills with one another and it is an area we have to work on all the time.

  • imagemrsmikey:

    I just found it interesting b/c in DH's family you do not fight, argue, or disagree in front of the kids.  And I think that has lead to some very unhealthy expectations and heartbreak for some of his family, who had the belief that their parents/grandparents marriage was perfect and without conflict. 

    Agreed, I worry about this because in DH's family any normal adult discussion were people might disagree is avoided entirely.  Granted, in my family I grew up watching domestic abuse and screaming battles---not exactly healthy either haha.  I just hope DH and I can find some healthy middle ground that we can both agree on.

  • imagemarryingacoach:

    The key to that article is "if you can fight fair" I'm not sure I know too many couples that can fight fair.. I know we don't haha!

    I totally agree! I think this like everything is all about moderation. 

  • I think you can disagree in front of your kids as long as you remain kind. ?If it is one of those fights that is just not going to be resolved with calm talking, save it for later. ?Common sense, I suppose.

    We were disagreeing in the car once after a trip to Walmart over something stupid so it was not going to turn into a fight, but DD yelled at us from the back seat "Be Nice!" because our voices were a little tense and we both LOLed so hard we stopped, so there was a benefit to fighting in front of her because she made us realize it was stupid and stop.?

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