Just beginning and need help
My dream has always been to adopt. ?This is something that I need to do to build my family. ?I was fortunate enough to marry a man that shares this dream and we have a gorgeous bio daughter and hope to have one additional child but are also ready to start the adoption route in the not too distant future knowing that it will take some time.
I need some insight from you all. ?We are not seeking to adopt a baby; we would prefer a child that is 4+ years old. Aside from the foster care system is there another avenue to find children to adopt that aren't babies? We are open to any race of child and would consider a child with special needs as well. ?Sorry if these are dumb questions but I am just beginning this process and am not familiar with all the lingo.
TIA!?
Re: Just beginning and need help
Welcome to the Board. I would check out the book "Adoption for Dummies" It is a great starting point on learning about Adoption.
Amie
Hi, and welcome! (Please excuse the terse numbered format; I wanted to get that all out there quick before I forgot anything.)
1. If you are open to international adoption, there are many "older children" who need families.
2. One thing you may want to consider: some agencies/adoption professionals believe it is best to have children enter the family in birth order (meaning the newest child to the family is also the youngest). This generally tends to lead to better adjustment among family members.
3. Similarly, if you are adopting an "older child," there is a chance that the child might have been the victim of abuse. It is not uncommon for abused children to act those behaviors our on younger children, so there is a possibility that adopting out of age-order could incorporate increased risk to the children already in your family.
4. None of the above is set in stone, and there are many families whom have adopted out of birth order and gone on to live as happy, healthy families.
5. Don't ever feel like you are asking a "dumb" question here. We always do our best to help.
6. It sounds like you are just at the beginning phases of your adoption journey. I think some of the following may help you figure out the best way to proceed.
I think books like "Adoption for Dummies" or "The Complete Idiot's Guide To Adoption" are a great place to get started. They provide lots of basic information on adoption, the different types, the process, and how to research an agency. Another good book is "The Complete Adoption Book." Any of these will help you decide which type of adoption best ?fits? your family.
If you then decide that domestic adoption is right for your family, you?ll need to find a good agency. I highly recommend researching any agency you are considering to make sure it abides by ethical standards. For domestic agencies, a great place to look them up is on the yahoo group called "AARD" (Adoption Agency Research ? Domestic). That group is dedicated to giving honest feedback on agencies. You can ask about the agencies you are interested in directly, and also search their archives and files.
If you choose international, you?ll then need to pick from which country. The US Department of State's website lists the requirements to adopt from each country (https://snipurl.com/2patx). Once you've made your country choice, you'll need to find an agency that has a program specializing in adoptions from that country. The yahoo group "Adoption Agency Research" is a phenomenal resource for vetting agencies, and works the same way as ?AARD."
Wow CS, that was great! I had never even thought of some of those things (though we haven't researched older child adoption).