RP from Parenting - how would you feel?

FloF9

Giselle Bundchen - on her DH son.

?I understand that he has a mom, and I respect that, but to me it?s not like because somebody else delivered him, that?s not my child,? she says of John Edward Thomas Moynahan, who was born in 2007. ?I feel it is, 100 percent. I want him to have a great relationship with his mom, because that?s important, but I love him the same way as if he were mine.?

FloF9

I read this and it just rubbed me the wrong way.  I know there are many instances - for example with some knotties (MrsSesa/J+A, etc..) that SM has taken over as the caregiver, etc...  but in the case of the new Mrs. Brady I think she's out of line.

(I don't have a high regard for models).  It just sounds like she's trivializing Miss Moynahan's motherhood.  It's like hey have some respect you know - the kid has a good mom why even say such a comment.  On the other hand I think it's great (if it's really true) that Giselle loves the kid but it just irked me.

DREWLILY

Oh yikes! You're sure to get some comments on this one!

I partly agree and partly disagree. "its not like because somebody else delivered him, that?s not my child"...um actually that does mean that isn't your (her) child! I am a SM to the sweetest 5 year old ever, but she isn't my child, and I would never try to be her mom. I am however her stepmom, and there is a difference.

I think Giselle's quote should have gone more like this: "its not like because somebody else delivered him, that I can't be a parental figure in his life or that don't love him like he were my own"

mckelvykr

If I was the BM I would feel uncomfortable-but I would brush it off b/c it seems she has really good intentions here.

FloF9

Yea I understand what you're saying but the part about "she wants him to have a good relationship with his mother".... that doesn't sound right.  It sounds like she wants to have control of this relationship.  I mean geez Tom Brady married her - she got the man, now she wants the kid too?  I don't know.

xmaryrickx

Well, I think it just leads to that misguided thought that as a SP you have to love them like your own, or you are not a good SP. I think it sucks that she is putting that out there, because a lot of new SP's will read that and think that they are bad people when in fact their feelings are totally normal and they are doing the best that they can in their situation.

If I was that kids mother, I would tell her to step off. I agree that she has good intentions, but saying that publicly is inappropriate. When asked about her SS she should have kept it short and sweet-He is a great kid and I am blessed to have him in my life. Or something along those lines.

MrsSledge

As PP said, I'm sure she has good intentions, but...I think she put it together badly and I'll give her the benefit of the doubt since English is her second language.

 

hindsight's_a_biotch

FloF9:

Giselle Bundchen - on her DH son.

?I understand that he has a mom, and I respect that, but to me it?s not like because somebody else delivered him, that?s not my child,? she says of John Edward Thomas Moynahan, who was born in 2007. ?I feel it is, 100 percent. I want him to have a great relationship with his mom, because that?s important, but I love him the same way as if he were mine.?

Meh, that doesn't bother me but when you take it with the whole of what she said AND add the way the relationship with Moynahan ended, how quick he was to start up with someone else even though she was knocked up, that Moynahan is an active mother with a full role in her child's life . . . It would probably irritate the piss out of me.

This is the entire quote:

Gis told the magazine, "I understand that he has a mom, and I respect that. But to me, it's not like because somebody else delivered him, that's not my child ? I feel it is, 100 percent. I want him to have a great relationship with his mom, because that's important, but I love him the same way as if he were mine. I already feel like he's my son, from the first day. He's a little angel ? the sweetest, most cuddly, loving baby. I feel blessed to have him in my life."

 

DaringMiss

FloF9:

Giselle Bundchen - on her DH son.

?I understand that he has a mom, and I respect that, but to me it?s not like because somebody else delivered him, that?s not my child,? she says of John Edward Thomas Moynahan, who was born in 2007. ?I feel it is, 100 percent. I want him to have a great relationship with his mom, because that?s important, but I love him the same way as if he were mine.?

As a SM, I feel exactly as she does about my step-daughters. ?My phrase is that "I love them like I birthed them." ?My love/care/concern for them does not replace or compete with the love of their mother...I am one more person in the world who loves them completely. ?And honestly, I resent it when people belittle my feelings for them just because I am not their biological mother.

FloF9

Daring - again try not to take it personally.  I was posting about their situation not yours.  Again - yes I know everyone's situation is different and by no means trying to insult you.

I think Hind said it better than I could.

mrs.conn23

Yeah, I gave her whole quote about that situation the side-eye.  I understand her intent behind her words but it does just not read right to me.

hindsight's_a_biotch

I will add that I don't necessarily feel it is wrong for her to feel that way. But I do think she shouldn't be saying as much to the interviewer so it could be printed in the paper.

She could have told the world that she loves the living hell out of that baby, as I'm sure she does without saying he may as well be hers.

sdc81

I get it, 100%. Even if Tom Brady was crappy in the way he left his pregnant ex for her. While it takes two, as the saying goes, it was TB's blunder more than hers.

Someone on here has a ticker that says something along the lines of, 'she grew in my heart instead of my tummy'. When you start off stepparenting a very young child, it quickly becomes an easy-bond situaiton, and I get how that would make her feel like she has a responsibility to TB's son 100%. The fact that she says this while also respecting that she is not his biomom, but says she'll do for him what a biomom would & love him the same way, redeems her getting married to a guy who left his pregnant girlfriend for her.

I began stepparenting when my SS was just turning 4, but knew him for a little over a year before that. I feel the same love- maybe not always the same type of connection, but certainly the love- for my SS and I do my bioson.

FloF9

sdc - Wow!! What a great way of putting it. 

annersayspoot

I get what she was saying, and I don't think she was trying to be disparaging. I think she just meant that she loves him, and wants what's best for him, and feels maternal towards him. English isn't her first language.